My husband has celebrated my anniversary with his friends

[Alakazam89]

Hi this is my first time posting. I am foaming I live in Spain and my husband has had to go to the uk for work so I am in Spain with my 3 year old son who is ill with bad flu and my 9 month old daughter also ill with flu and I am ill too. Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary and my husband who went to visit his cousin today got offered to go to the restaurant we used for our wedding day and he said yes so whilst I was talking to him he casually drops in noname offers me to go out for dinner on him so I sed yes and told me where they where. He knew it was our anniversary and I am foaming how can he possibly think that I would be fine with him going to our wedding restaurant for dinner on our anniversary with his cousin and her bf whilst I am hear and when I complained he said what do you want me to do sit at my mam's and look at the wall to be honest I thought yes compared to that that's exactly what you should be doing I am soooo angry am I in the wrong?

YABU. Just say to him you hope he has a great time and you look forward to celebrating with him when he is back. I get why you feel miffed but it’s not his fault really.

You are being completely bonkers OP. Some people take anniversaries more seriously than others so I understand some might be a bit upset about being apart, but you seem to have accepted that part. What difference does it make where he eats?

I hope he knows he is really going to have to push the boat out when he returns and you celebrate your anniversary late. Milk it.

I can understand why you're feeling totally fucked off because you're home alone on your wedding anniversary feeling ill and having to care for two very young children who are also ill. I get it.
If the situation was different then I expect you would look at this differently but I also think that your DH was a bit insensitive to tell you he was in 'your' restaurant when he should know how tough you have it at home right now.
Hopefully you can get the kids in bed and suggest a FaceTime in a bit

You're being childish

I don’t get why you’re upset. Would he be cross if you went there without him?

You’re making a big old drama out of something silly. Celebrate your anniversary when he gets back.

Please use some punctuation- it’s making my eyes bleed.

YABVVVVU.

I understand that you're feeling overwhelmed being alone and ill at home with a sick child as well.
But it doesn't affect you at all where he goes. Presumably, you will both go out to a nice place when he returns and you are feeling better to celebrate your anniversary. BTW, "our" not "my".

From the sound of it it's a popular or good restaurant where he is. It's not like he organised a whole event to celebrate the anniversary alone without you.

OP in the gentlest possible way you're being unreasonable. No doubt you're tired and frazzled being ill and looking after poorly kids, missing your DH, and grumpy at the world in general. But don't take it out on him. Him staying in and being miserable isn't going to make you less miserable.

Wow.

Completely unreasonable.

Just Wow.

He’s probably there thinking of your wedding day fgs! Stop bashing him for it, was he supposed to say to his cousin “no, thanks for the invite but I’d better not go in case my wife loses her shit with me” - how crazy would you come off then!
He told you he was there, he didn’t go and then lie!
Get a grip.

OP I hope it's out of character for you to get upset about things like this or I'm really concerned about your DH

*he didn’t go to the restaurant and then lie about it afterwards.

@Musmerian- do you really need to point out punctuation. Surely the OP is seeking views on her situation, not her grammar. Your comment was unnecessary

Oops forgot the ? She will be having a go at me now!

God you must be a nightmare to live with ffs, grow up !

How dare he. He should have anticipated this and flown back extra early or booked you on a flight out, first class, to join him.

As you mentioned Spain and the UK, I feel obliged to blame this because of Brexit somehow too.

How dare he leave you foaming.

Yabu

This is sad. He's not allowed to enjoy himself because you're not with him? Do you like him normally or is this just part of a bigger picture?

YABU

Making him miserable won't make you feel better about your situation.

I'd be keen to hear if the place had changed, what he ate etc. And plan something to celebrate together when you are able.

You are probably tired and unwell. I hope this the only reason and you are not generally like this. You say that there is no walking on eggshells but if this is the way you behave in general then your DH (not you) will be walking on eggshells. The not mentioning the restaurant and just popping in into the conversation might suggest this is already happening. I hope you all feel better soon.

Are there any foaming eggshells though?

What on Earth, you are in Spain and he is the UK and you are foaming because he went out for dinner in your anniversary on his own???

Good grief, I would have thought that no “spending our anniversary together” was possible the moment he took the flight.

God how ridiculous.

You do remember it's his anniversary too?