My husband has celebrated my anniversary with his friends

[Alakazam89]

Hi this is my first time posting. I am foaming I live in Spain and my husband has had to go to the uk for work so I am in Spain with my 3 year old son who is ill with bad flu and my 9 month old daughter also ill with flu and I am ill too. Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary and my husband who went to visit his cousin today got offered to go to the restaurant we used for our wedding day and he said yes so whilst I was talking to him he casually drops in noname offers me to go out for dinner on him so I sed yes and told me where they where. He knew it was our anniversary and I am foaming how can he possibly think that I would be fine with him going to our wedding restaurant for dinner on our anniversary with his cousin and her bf whilst I am hear and when I complained he said what do you want me to do sit at my mam's and look at the wall to be honest I thought yes compared to that that's exactly what you should be doing I am soooo angry am I in the wrong?

OP, you are being unreasonable and your reaction is extreme. Honestly had you been a man saying this about his partner you'd have been called controlling and probably even abusive by now.

Whilst no one is saying it's nice to be stuck under the weather and have children that are ill too, it's no reason for your reaction.

I sincerely hope you do apologise for your overreaction to your husband, he has done nothing wrong at all. Imagine if he had a go at you if the situation was reversed. Whilst this restaurant is special to you, it does not mean he's not allowed to visit it with his family. Furthermore, it could also been seen that his family have purposely taken him there as a small way to celebrate his anniversary. Whatever angle you take it from, you are being unreasonable and do owe him an apology.

Once he returns, you both can arrange to celebrate together. It's as simple as that. It just comes across as spiteful, that you want him to be miserable simply because you are.

OP, we need to examine yo feelings here, why are you so upset about that particular restaurant? Can you instead think of him revisiting one of the most significant places of his life with you, to remind him of how lucky he is? On your anniversary? Would that help you feel a bit better about it?

Admittedly I only scanned the posts as they’re difficult to read and concluded op was foreign.

Unlikely. If you confuse 'could of' with 'could have' it's probably because you've learned a language by ear rather than being taught any grammatical structure in a formal setting.

I think if my DP went to a restaurant without me I wouldn't care particularly. Be different if he were in the same country and just went 'kay bye, I'm off to have fun'. But he's hundreds of miles away and why have two miserable people?

AmIThough Tue 12-Nov-19 18:20:42
@Honeythekittycat he's not celebrating though, is he? He's just out for tea
.........
Bit more than tea :-)! He's gone out for a meal at a restaurant (& I do not blame him one bit).

Op, I'm more concerned about your children having the 'flu, they're very young. 'flu is horrible, I dread it but, whilst little children and babies are quite resilient in many ways, it's particularly serious for them. You say you are unwell too, have you caught influenza from them?

Apart from the mentioned illness, your posts are really irritatingly funny. I wonder what you did for a living before having children, not that that is any of my business.

@highheelsandweathercocks

😂😂😂 don't forget to message Urban Dictionary and let them know they've used your wrongly.

People complaining about lack of punctuation, please never read anything by Literature Nobel Prize winner Saramago.

Sorry but I don't see how he was supposed to know that going to the same restaurant would upset you. Am I missing something?

Your baby has flu and you are stressing about where your DH is having his tea?! I think you need to get your priorities in order.

Of course yabu. Hopefully in the morning you will see it.

I've just read the OPs posts again. I actually think the dh was probably being romantic and nostalgic going back to their restaurant to mark the occasion. I bet he had no idea he was doing something so incredibly terrible in the OPs eyes.

@IDontEvenHaveAPla

Maybe her fella was asking on Stormfront

Well this thread went well for the first time poster.

I can understand you being fed up that you are on your own with 2 children who are ill on your anniversary. 'Foaming' that your husband has gone out for a meal with family when he has to be away is just daft, even if it is the place you got married. You need to remember that it's 'our' anniversary and once you have children and work days often get celebrated before or after the real day. He probably sat there missing you and happily remembering your wedding.

You’re drained, exhausted and emotional - being ill with ill dcs too must be hard work and you’re feeling a bit sorry for yourself. Don’t give it headspace, it’s just a restaurant, and could have actually been nice for him to reminisce about the two of you being there previously, making him feel close to you. Hope you all feel better soon op.

This thread is MN gold.

A batshit first post & another poster banning her DP from websites.

I love MN

I am soooo angry am I in the wrong?
Well..... yes!
It's his anniversary too and I think it's nice his family thought to do this for him while he is over.
Rest up OP and look after yourself and your DC.
Sorry you are ill, but your DH has done nothing wrong here!

@IDontEvenHaveAPla I really don’t see what your issue is. DP was a member of a forum where a lot of men behave in a mysoginistic way to women in general, advocate hitting women and generally are abusive to them, including posters on MN. MN is nothing like that. I think I am perfectly entitled to tell him I don’t want him on there and if he refuses he can suffer the consequences. He has agreed not to visit but as I have trust issues based on previous behaviour I have gotten his login details from him so I can check he is behaving.

Your title is very telling. Surely it should be our anniversary and he can hardly celebrate it without you

He's having a meal with his cousin, because he is in a different country to you and it's your anniversary.

When he comes back, celebrate then and I hope you feel better soon

as I have trust issues based on previous behaviour I have gotten his login details from him so I can check he is behaving.

Batshit bingo

He probably sat there missing you and happily remembering your wedding

Aye, when she had a go at him for visiting the restaurant and told him he should have sat home with his mother, I bet he went all misty eyed. 🤣

@Hibbsy Um.. the way you speak of your relationship is not even remotely healthy. Your behaviour is ridiculous as well as his. If you have so many issues and have to check up on your partner so much, perhaps it’s time to re-think the relationship instead of trying to control an adult.

As for the website, I have no idea what it is and whilst MN is not as severe as what you have mentioned, the double standard and bias against men on here is unavoidable and pretty well known. Furthermore, things get nasty here too, as it can on any open forum. People have various opinions. How would you feel if he tried to ban you from MN for its double standards and bias?

@ItIsWhatItIsInnit Thank goodness you see that post for what it is too! Absolutely bizarre.

@IDontEvenHaveAPla 1) he wouldn’t dare try to ban me from here and 2) unless you yourself have had first hand experience of the site he was on you really aren’t in a position to comment thank you very much. My relationship is healthy, he knows what I expect from him and gets an awful lot from me in return.

Is it Stormfront?!