My husband has celebrated my anniversary with his friends

[Alakazam89]

Hi this is my first time posting. I am foaming I live in Spain and my husband has had to go to the uk for work so I am in Spain with my 3 year old son who is ill with bad flu and my 9 month old daughter also ill with flu and I am ill too. Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary and my husband who went to visit his cousin today got offered to go to the restaurant we used for our wedding day and he said yes so whilst I was talking to him he casually drops in noname offers me to go out for dinner on him so I sed yes and told me where they where. He knew it was our anniversary and I am foaming how can he possibly think that I would be fine with him going to our wedding restaurant for dinner on our anniversary with his cousin and her bf whilst I am hear and when I complained he said what do you want me to do sit at my mam's and look at the wall to be honest I thought yes compared to that that's exactly what you should be doing I am soooo angry am I in the wrong?

@Dilkhush she can't Skype him because he's in her favourite restaurant

OP I think you just want him to be miserable because you are. Agree with PP about ordering your favourite takeaway.
Cuddle up and watch a film with the kids and go for a nice meal when DH gets back

It's the sort of thing my dh would do tbh. If it's the worst you can say, count your blessings.

YABVU. Maybe he’s gone because it holds happy memories of the 2 of you.

Oh for Heaven's sake! I think perhaps you're tired and feeling bad because you're having to watch over your sick DC.

I've been married over 30 years. And one of the reason we've lasted so long is because we don't look for reasons to be upset with each other just because we are unhappy with something else.

So he's eating where you had your wedding meal. So what? Just be glad that he (and his family) feel that your anniversary is something to celebrate.

I think that this is upsetting you more,because you and your children are feeling really unwell out there in Spain,and so more upset,and down,and of low mood, which is understandable. But I don't think that your Husband has done anything wrong really.

Can't you see it as quite sweet that he wanted to go there?

Presumably it has happy memories of you.

Which you may be obliterating by foaming.

Isn't that a lovely thing?
Nice memories?

I think it is very romantic.

I do think that staying in at his mams with his brothers instead of going out

Why? How does him being bored at home make you feel better in any way?

I suggest you forget it and just make arrangements for a late celebration when he gets back.

@amithough Yes you're right. Maybe Skype after he's back from the restaurant, or FaceTime ( if that would work).

"My" anniversary!?

So instead of just one of you being miserable, you want both of you to be miserable?

no one see this as a kick in the teeth he has the full of Newcastle and he picks that one place when he has plenty other places

Because it's not a kick in the teeth. You're being ridiculous.

Look at it the other way. Hes in a different country to his wife and children hes probably missing you all. Hes also away on your anniversary. Maybe he thought it would be nice to spend it somewhere with a nice association and to remind him of your wedding day

@theboxfamilytree
At the mouth presumably 😂

You honestly think it was insensitive of him to go to that restaurant? Can't you just be happy that he's having a nice time?

Well this is a bit unpleasant op. Normal reactions would be "ah I wish we could be there together," not, "you're not allowed out you fucker, stare at your mothers wall"

I'd also have went if I was your husband, why the hell should he decline. It's so controlling.

Well he can sit in the house on his own staring at the 4 walls until you grace him with your presence huh
Life goes on, he’s going for a meal. It’s not to say you can’t both do something when you get home but just because you’re here and Ill which is crap doesn’t mean he has to sit indoors till you return sorry but you’re being v unreasonable!!.

If he knew it would upset you, that suggests he knows that you’re generally unreasonable because it wouldn’t occur to me that something like this would upset DH or me.

Sure, if he’s getting to go somewhere nice that’s special to us while I’m stuck at home with sick kids I’d be jealous, but I wouldn’t think it was insensitive in any way.

Wouldn’t upset me at all, to be honest.
I can see you are in a shitty situation tho, coping with kids alone when ill is never fun (I was single and a mum for a while, and I remember it well.....) Could it be that because you are feeling shit this bothers you more than it usually would?

Wonder if this is one of those rare unanimous threads where everyone can't believe what they are reading, tells the op they are wrong,,,and she disagrees,,,🤣

Gosh controlling much! If I was him I'd be running for the hills before anniversary 4, get a grip and calm down. He didn't come to the uk for a jolly, it's for work , you know the thing that helps support the family.

Oh op, your posts are really quite funny. If you read them back you will realise how and why (or maybe you won't).

I am however very sorry you are unwell and have two tiny children with 'flu. Influenza is quite dangerous for little ones, I hope you have sought medical advice for them.

Your husband has done nothing wrong, if he'd gone out for a meal with relatives to a different venue, you would probably have thought nothing of it. I presume cousin thought it would be nice to go to where you married but there's no malice in it, honestly.

When you and your old man are back together again, you can celebrate in your own style.

Get well soon .

Strange you keep saying “my anniversary”. Didn’t he have to turn up?

If it is yours alone to define and celebrate, then you’re alone to do it.

It’s perfectly fine to go out and you are not being excluded. The reaction is childish and spoilt.