My husband has celebrated my anniversary with his friends

[Alakazam89]

Hi this is my first time posting. I am foaming I live in Spain and my husband has had to go to the uk for work so I am in Spain with my 3 year old son who is ill with bad flu and my 9 month old daughter also ill with flu and I am ill too. Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary and my husband who went to visit his cousin today got offered to go to the restaurant we used for our wedding day and he said yes so whilst I was talking to him he casually drops in noname offers me to go out for dinner on him so I sed yes and told me where they where. He knew it was our anniversary and I am foaming how can he possibly think that I would be fine with him going to our wedding restaurant for dinner on our anniversary with his cousin and her bf whilst I am hear and when I complained he said what do you want me to do sit at my mam's and look at the wall to be honest I thought yes compared to that that's exactly what you should be doing I am soooo angry am I in the wrong?

Are you from Spain OP? Does a restaurant matter that much? I don't see how you'll make it to your 5th anniversary if this causes you to foam at the mouth with rage.
Chill, go out with him to a new restaurant and have a lovely date when your family is well. By the way it is freezing cold and rainy in the UK today. Icy winds and dark by 4pm. How is it where you are?

But to be fair, OP, I understand why you are disappointed and fed up. Missing your husband on a special day and taking care of sick kids while poorly yourself is not a lot of fun. Hope you have a nice celebration when he gets back from his business trip 😊

I genuinely don’t understand why you would be angry, he’s in a different country - it’s not like you’d made a nice meal and he got sidetracked on the way home? Why isn’t he allowed to have a nice time when he’s there and see friends and family. Really odd. I hope you aren’t as unjustifiably angry and incoherently angry in real life, poor bloke! He has done nothing wrong but your reaction is very troubling.

Oh, not business trip, family trip 🙂

I'm sorry you are stuck with ill children, that's the pits. Hopefully you'll all start to feel a bit brighter soon.
However, taking it out on your spouse is not on, it comes across as princessy and makes you sound like hard work. When you speak to him, ask him if he had a lovely time and make plans to celebrate when he comes home (and hint heavily how much you'd like a decent gift from his trip!).

@StarlingsInSummer, failing to see how that is relevant or helpful, just bitchy.

The good news is that if you keep acting like this you won’t have many more anniversaries to worry about.

If it’s any consolation, the weather is crap in Newcastle today. Cold, wet and miserable!

YABU. It's your anniversary not your wedding day and it's just a restaurant. He's away for work, not a jolly, and he's visiting family.

I think/hope you are just grumpy because you are under the weather and dealing with sick kids.

Id be pissed off too if that was your special place

Just wow. So your dh should have stayed home and done nothing? What a shame you don't want nice things for him. Presumably you can celebrate when he is back.

@WorraLiberty
Idk what your point is. I have a migraine so I find it a lot harder to decipher a wall of text than without. It all read a bit gobbledygook and I made an assumption. But yes, I suppose I could say I’m part foreign, dual nationality.

@Zuma76. Yes - I do have to mention punctuation. Lack of punctuation makes posts v difficult to read and makes OPs sound unhinged.

@AudTheDeepMinded it wasn’t meant to be. Posters were saying the OP was ‘foreign’ and I meant to point out she probably isn’t. But I can see how it wasn’t helpful. Sorry OP.

Give the woman a break people. I do think u r being a bit unreasonable op but I think I can see where you are coming from. You are tired and a bit low with two sick small children to attend to. Not a great way to spend your anniversary. He's gone to England because of work on your anniversary which can't be helped. Not great but if you too could celebrate in Spain with some friends you probably wouldn't feel so resentful about him having fun but instead you are hearing about all his fun while you are tired and isolated.You are thinking of the great wedding day you had and now he's celebration with his own relatives in the venue while you struggle on alone with the kids. It's ok to feel a bit down because you are isolated while he is having fun. You may also be suffering from a bit of postnatal depression. Don't give him grief when he gets back and try to get out yourself asap. Congratulations anyway on your anniversary.

According to DP’s mysoginistic forum you are being totally unreasonable and are the reasons men in general are better off single. They have speculated your special restaurant is a Harvester and critiqued you’re spelling. . I actually understand you’re point of view and wouldn’t be happy either.

@StarlingInSummer well done for clarifying and apologising, sorry to be all thread policey, just struck a chord with me.

Hibbsy why are you with a man who frequents a misogynistic forum? I assumed no one would touch those men with a barge pole.

Yabvvvvvu.

It's shit that you're stuck in Spain with 2 sick kids on yours and your husband anniversary. But really. Being 'foaming' and begrudging him a night out in 'your' restaurant is absolutely bonkers.

It doesn't detract from it being somewhere nice you have eaten on a special occasion in the past.

Glad you eventually changed it to 'your anniversary and not 'my' anniversary...

Sinkgirl I am not, he was on it, I found out and have banned him from it but still have his login details to make sure.

Nope, I can’t see why you’d rather he sit at home either?? It’s miserable when you’re all at home feeling ill but I’d never expect my husband to make himself miserable too!

@Hibbsy You've banned your partner from a website where others have said the OP is being unreasonable, similar to here? Furthermore, are you new to MN? Let's not act like a majority of posters here are not full of double standards when it comes to men, they practically fall over one another to find fault with a man even when he's done no wrong.

You come across as controlling if this is your reaction, imagine if your partner banned you from MN.