My husband has celebrated my anniversary with his friends

[Alakazam89]

Hi this is my first time posting. I am foaming I live in Spain and my husband has had to go to the uk for work so I am in Spain with my 3 year old son who is ill with bad flu and my 9 month old daughter also ill with flu and I am ill too. Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary and my husband who went to visit his cousin today got offered to go to the restaurant we used for our wedding day and he said yes so whilst I was talking to him he casually drops in noname offers me to go out for dinner on him so I sed yes and told me where they where. He knew it was our anniversary and I am foaming how can he possibly think that I would be fine with him going to our wedding restaurant for dinner on our anniversary with his cousin and her bf whilst I am hear and when I complained he said what do you want me to do sit at my mam's and look at the wall to be honest I thought yes compared to that that's exactly what you should be doing I am soooo angry am I in the wrong?

@Hibbsy Yet you think it's perfectly okay to ban someone else? Well controlling behaviour is certainly not a sign of a healthy relationship and I have read your previous threads including the one where you even discuss that website and you were told there as well that MN was not much different and you were unreasonable.

I'd also like to inform you that I am in a position to comment on whatever I decide, keep your controlling nature for your partner only, it won't work here.

Anyway, this is not about your relationship and I do not wish to take this thread off topic any further. Best wishes.

Controlling behaviour and very, very unreasonable.

Also, it's his anniversary too.

@Alakazam89

Hi op

Not sure if you’re still reading, but I totally get why you would be feeling a little upset.

You’re home alone with two poorly little ones and are not feeling too well yourself. Meanwhile, it’s you and your husbands anniversary and he’s gone back to your special place with his cousin and her friend.

To be honest, yes, it’s a little thoughtless of him and from what you say, he knew you’d be sensitive about it. You are quite right that there are plenty of other places he could have gone, so you probably feel that you’re having your nose rubbed in it a bit.

However, on balance, he really hasn’t done anything ‘wrong’, other than be a bit insensitive. It’s not fair to ask him to stay in and be miserable just because that’s how you’re feeling.

You’ve made it clear to your husband that you aren’t happy by the sound of it, so I’d say it’s time now to just forget about it.

It’s a good idea to arrange something nice for when he’s back, so you have something to look forward to. Don’t drag this out though as it’s really not worth it.

All the best.

YABU
Why do you say my anniversary rather than our?
YABU
He's away with work, has the opportunity to go to a nice restaurant.

Did he actually know it would upset you? If it were my DH, I'd say something along the lines of oh wow, that'll be nice, have a great time and have a chocolate pudding for me!

Does sound like you are having a bit of a crappy time at home with ill kids but why make your DH miserable too when there's nothing he can do about making it better because he's so far away.