Break up support thread 4

[herbsmokedchicken]

Sigh.!

Wow that sucks! It sounds like a step back would be good, because you’re not together but seems like you were still kind of acting it a bit? So may help in the long run but not nice that it’s been done in such a harsh way. Good that you are getting counselling sorted!

Hope everyone else is doing well, I had an absolutely horrendous evening last night, think the shock wore off a bit and also started to feel jealous although I’m really trying not to think about it. Got my period and it’s my first since going back on the pill so I think possibly it’s playing havoc with my emotions as a bit as well, yesterday was the worst I’ve felt in a few months now. Feeling a bit more normal today.

I'm so sad. I'm beginning to accept that its over. And if I dont think about him I'm fine. But if course it's so hard not to think about him .

Yeah it’s so hard eh! Even all this time later he’s still on my mind all the time, drive myself mad!

I had an epiphany yesterday. I'm a catch. I have a nice house, a good job, great personality. It's his loss, not mine. I still miss him but I have a ton going for me and I'm not prepared to settle and that includes him

Good for you! I’m not going to settle either. That’s why I was single for so long before I met A. I don’t like being alone but if you settle, you can end up just as lonely even with someone by your side.

Totally agree, you gotta make sure you never settle. I was on my own as a single mum for 6 years before I met my ex. Today is feeling a little easier, I'm 11lb down from Saturday- not good I know - but a friend suggested I join the gym as it's a great distraction

I'm seeing ex tomorrow. Argh.

How come?

I need to know his intentions re divorce and house. And to show him I'm doing totally fine (genuinely am) and hes made a big mistake not going to discuss our relationship or if we are seeing other people going to keep it light and friendly and just make him realise he needs to move the rest of his stuff out and he cant keep coming round in the day (when I'm out) to go for a wee or what ever it is he claims he does.

Ah I see, yeah that’s good, claim the space back.

Ugh, feeling better than I was on Monday but just feel so sad! It’s def been a setback, I know I’ll bounce back again coz I was doing a lot better but ugh. Just hard to make it all fit in my brain - this time last year we were so happy, excited for our first Valentine’s Day, planning our holiday. Now we’ve been split nearly 7 months, not spoken in nearly 5 months, he’s suddenly cut me off and made it look like he was never even in this town. And that’s so he can get married but I only know that because I was expecting it and looked out for it, otherwise I wouldn’t know but he must know it’ll get back to me eventually. It just seems cold of him and not like the person I was in love with. But that doesn’t stop me missing him. I can’t even say really that I want him to come back (not that he ever will, I know) because I’m sure if he actually did it would be a disaster. I just want this to have never happened. I want so badly to wake up and find this was a terrible dream and he’s still here. I know I’ll get over this, but it’s just taking so fucking long.

I am struggling today big time. I have to see my ex when he gets our DD today, she will be in her pram ready to go for him but I am feeling so sick at the thought. Ever feel like your mind cant slow down and you think of everything that's going on? That me, torturing myself with thoughts of him with this new girl

Yes! I’ve been vaguely following this whole “internal monologue” thing that’s been doing the rounds and all I can think is, I wish my internal monologue would shut up! I’ve never been able to master turning off my thoughts. I’m trying so hard not to think of my ex with his wife but it’s so hard, it just pops into my brain. Good luck today, at least I never have to see my ex again! It must be hard.

We are our own worst enemies when it comes to overthinking arent we. Thank you, I'm dreading it. I've thrown up already 😭 I'm starting to accept that it is over this time and its hitting me very hard today. Wish I never had to see him again but unfortunately that's not the case.

See if I'm honest, even though he has said we are over for good it's hard to erase that the night before he said he would be lying if he said he didnt still have feelings for me. That's what's messing me up a lot

Hope you are ok, it must be very hard for you when you thought that it would you and him one day

Yeah it’s so difficult to make yourself accept it’s over. Even now, there’s still a tiny part of me that feels like if I wish hard enough, he’ll come back. Logically I know it but I can’t quite believe it.

Poor you throwing up! I hate throwing up at the best of times! Soon it will be over and you can relax until you next have to see him again.

Yeah it is hard, I’m glad all I’ve been able to see is the wedding cake, I don’t want to know anything else. It’s hard, right about now we would def be engaged and probably be about to marry since we wouldn’t be able to live together before then so it wouldn’t have been a long engagement. But really I feel stupid now for ever thinking that it would happen and his family would accept us. It was clearly never really going to go anywhere, I see that now, but it’s hard to accept. He’s had his fun and now he’s gone back home to be a good boy.

Was chatting with the guy I’ve had a couple of dates with, who I’ve not seen in person since December and only spoken to a couple of times since then. He asked me if I wanted a relationship! I said we needed to get to know each other better first.

Then suddenly started crying my eyes out! I was like whoa where did that come from? But he’s not A. That’s why. I want A. I didn’t say an outright no tho, not to mess him around but when we saw each other, we did have a really good vibe so I don’t want to rule it out. No idea when he is back here tho. God emotions are complicated. I didn’t even know I was going to cry, luckily I was already in the loo!

Have reported spam post

Feeling down as well today :( really miss my ex. Sad that he's much happier now and doesn't ever want anything to do with me again.
Just sad :(

Yup it’s horrible! Tbf I’ve got no idea if my ex is happy, it’s clearly an arranged marriage so possibly he’s not happy about it. I dunno, I guess it’s a different situation here and as much as I fucking hate the idea of him loving someone else, I guess I’d rather he’d be happy than trapped in a loveless marriage. But either way, an arranged marriage or being alone, both of those options were preferable to being with me.

We will get over it tho! I know I’ve been saying that for months but we will. I’ve had a setback but I was doing better before this and you’re definitely better than you were, so we will get there, it’s just slow and steady. Better to feel it and take our time rather than suppressing it all and having it all come out in the future.

Yeah I'm definitely in a much better place but every so often it hits me and I feel so down about it all. I really miss him even though he treated me so badly, but I know I wasn't perfect either (not that that puts any blame on me, ultimately if he had a problem he should have said something!) I know I start getting bad when I be stupid and check WhatsApp again 🙄 they do seem to talk less during the day than we did but that means fuck all really!
Back to not looking though, I only looked yesterday and a bit today. No more.

Yes I need to get stricter with my social media checking, I checked a lot cos I was so sure a marriage was coming but it’s like ok well I was right, now I’ve found out all I need to know, I don’t need to keep doing it now! Any further discoveries will just be salt in the wound. But it’s hard because it’s become a bit compulsive now, sometimes I’ll click on his profile and then be like wait that’s not even what I meant to do...

Yeah that's like me 😅 but still only whatsapp! Refuse to look at his social media. Although instagram likes to show me (on the search/explore page when I'm bored) some of the models he follows and I have a nosey on their profiles occasionally, he still likes pretty much all of these women's photos 🤷🏼‍♀️ just makes me laugh, as it's pretty pathetic. Also gets a smirk when the models more resemble me than her 😅 not saying I look like any of these models/surfers!

ive broken up with my boyfriend last week too (he split with me) and i just felt so so on edge. i feel so alone without him and trying to get me back