I’m feeling a lot better but it still feels weird if I think about it! Which I try not to do. There is, infuriatingly, a tiny bit of hope still which doesn’t seem to want to go away.
But then I remember reading that when grieving someone it takes a year and a day to truly believe they’re gone, coz then you’ve gone through all the birthdays, anniversaries etc without them. He’s not dead obvs but I am still grieving. I’m hoping it doesn’t take that long as that would mean I still feel shit in July, but it’s been half a year now and I’m still not quite over it so I guess we have a few more milestones for me to go through alone.
Next week will be a year since we first did the do and I know he will have no idea. I really wish I didn’t have such a head for dates! I always remember stuff!
Me and my friend yesterday were saying how he (and many men) can just put it all in a box and compartmentalise. I suppose it’s better that I’m doing all my feeling and working through it all now.