NEW FAB AND GLAM

[Dior]

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Thank you xx

am sure your solicitor will be able to give you sound advice.
You will not fall apart , the worst bit is over unfortunately it may not feel that way yet whilst you are still left picking up the pieces , take care

well, i've just had a text asking me if he can pay me less per month.

i knew he'd try to wriggle out of it.

i can't manage on what he gives me now ffs. and the landlord wants to lock me into extending the house lease till january. of course that's way longer than i need but he won't negotiate any further.

at the moment i haven't signed the new lease and the old lease expired a week or so ago.

i'm petrified i'm going to end up liable for the rent here as well as the mortgage on the new flat. not to mention if my tenants decide to move out before the sale goes thru.

the whole sale/purchase thing is going so slowly due to my buyer dragging her feet.

i just don't have any any any funds spare to fall back on.

seriously worried now.

every time i try to get my head above water something happens that just pulls me under again.

just seen this, Baffy. my thoughts are, yes, get legal advice, secure your money, that you need for yours and ds's future, tbh, I know you worked so hard to save your marriage, you really did more than the average person could, and then some, but he's just taken the piss royally, and seems to be getting worse if he has the audacity to ask you for money so he can get his own flat . Really, I know how heartbreaking thia is, but you should consider pushing for a divorce asap so he is no longer a liability to you, of you're at least not financially liable for him any more.

ANd finally, I'd get these posts discussing money deleted asap, cos if this does turn nasty, we know that he or her or both know about this thread, so he could go to solicitotr claiming you're hiding funds ANd make your life even more difficult. AT the begining of this I was shocked how bad he was behaving, yet unbelievably just seems to be getting worse and worse. Look after yourself.

pc as well, what can I say? What a total nightmare. Hope you get the housing thing sorted. I just can't imagine how stressful all this uncertainty must be. I'm sorry, I've got nothing constructive to say, just praying for you all that the torment these twatty men are inflicting on you all if over soon. . You deserve some tlc and good luck NOW, to say the very least.

here here Ernest!
Pc why would you have to sign an extended agreement ?

because the 12 month lease expired and the landlord didn't want pay the agent another 12 months finder's fee if the lease were to be renewed for another year.

i just wanted to do a rolling lease till oct/nov but the landlord is away till end nov and didn't want to deal with the re-letting etc whilst he was away.

not sure where i stand tbh, i haven't signed anything yet altho have verbally agreed to extend to 2nd week in jan.

Sorry to butt in as I'm not on the F&G (but I know you nice people won't tell me to push off).

Baffy, your husband has been replaced with a pod person from outer space, it looks like him but it really isn't. OK, I read too much science fiction in my youth, but you see what I mean, I hope. That's the way you have to look at things. This is a stranger with no human feelings, who owes you nothing and puts himself first. The real "him" may well still exist underneath, and may well take back control eventually, but unless/until that ever happens you are dealing with the alien. He has no compassion for you, you cannot afford to have any for him at this stage. You cannot make the nice man come back by treating the fake one as though he were decent. You cannot lend him a penny, that is your child's money and he can NOT be trusted because his values are nothing like yours.

If the SF analogy doesn't work, he's kind of like an alcoholic or junkie without a substance to abuse. His primary relationship is now self-indulgence and he doesn't care who he hurts or what he does to get his fix. Or for a third way of describing it: you are a widow, and some imposter is taking advantage of your loss by trying to nick your late husband's stuff.

Basically, there's giving him a chance, and there's being taken for a ride by a confidence trickster. Don't be fooled by the fact that the confidence trickster happens to look like someone you love(d).

It must be so, so hard though, it hasn't been that long in the scheme of things and will take a lot longer to come to terms with. For now what matters is protecting yourself, as all your wise friends are saying. Do what you have to do for yourself and DS, and let understanding or change come later if it ever does.

Thank you

Annie - excellent post. Thank you

Ernest you are spot on too xx

just a test message to see if stupid com is working now!

Hello all sorry for wasting a messgae but have written many a long message out only for my com to not be bothered to post it! !

Macd lily rose is a beautiful name hope all is well?

happy woman great name change

iohw hope your well long time no hear?

dior hope your ok too?

ernest so sorry to hear about mil hope she is doing better?

lily how are you and your precious bump?

msj hi how are things?

pc hi sorry to hear about house crisis. Can you hold off signing lease agreement as long as poss then your new house may be sorted in time? Can you kick tenants out your old house so you can move back in till new house is ready? H sounds like his being a git and you really do deserve so much better. Your patience with him is amazing to say the least not even a saint has as much patienceas you! I eally hope it works out soon x

Baffy just the same as everyone else with my own bit added in! Please do not lend him money. Im sure your sick of hearing that as you know yourself its not the right thing to do. He should be supporting him not expect you to go to work and fund his bachelor lifestyle while it suits him.

Fwiw i really dont think he wants to divorce you but he does want his cake and eat it. And i dont want to sound harsh but your basically letting him. Please get tough. his continuing to lie to you. He is still with miss drop my drawers and unprotected sex? FFS how many more abortions do they want to risk before they start acting responsible??

I really do think its time you got tough with him and distance yourself emotionally from him. I know how much you love him and i really really understand how difficult it is for you to do that. But his acting like a complete selfish twat and he needs a reality check. He cant have you both at his beck and call. Miss drop my drawers may have no respect for herself with the i will have him no matter how much i have to degrade my self. You are worth so much better than that. She is just a kid and his being cruel taking advantage of her being a child and of your complete love for him and your bond together with ds.

also as regards to the furniture i would seriously think about letting him have it. For 1 when you and ds move in to your new home how reasonable is he going to be about letting you have your share of it back? Thats if there is anything left as mdmd is highly strung and probably not past throwing a hissy fit and breaking some treasured items? And do you really want her lolloping over your stuff?

Just my opinions and i really hope i havent upset ot offended you you know its the last thing i would want to do.

I dont want to see anyone on here hurt anymore than they already have been. xx

Hi Everyone

I am back - only a 12 hour delay - but at least we were put up in a posh hotel for a night, and in fact it was really good.

Now got the rush to get everyone ready for school and the poor old washing machine is doing overtime at the moment.

Will check and try and keep up.

Sugar excellent post. No time now but just didn't want to read it and not respond. Agree with everything you say!
Catch up later. Thank you

How are you doing anyway?

xx

omg was so worried i would upset you [ sugar breathes very deep sigh of relief!]

all going ok here fingers crossed. hectic with kids going back to school tomorrow now got to run across road neighbour in crisis!

hope your ok?

i good thanks sugar how are you ?
Baffy hope you have hasd time to think things through and sort things out in your head.
PC sorry no advice but hope you get things sorted.
Hope everyone else doing ok

PC Can i ask you to do me a favour please ?
I have placed an ad in the small business section for my dp and i wondered if you would be so kind as to post a quick note on there about your dealing with him for other mnet members to see. If you don't want to that's fine as i know you have a lot on, TIA [smile} Lily

Pc can i ask you to do me a favour please ?
I have just placed an ad on the small buisness section for dp (reputable mortgage advisor) and i wondered if you could possibly put a quick comment on there r/e your mortgage dealings with him for other mnet members to see.
TIA and if you don't want to that's fine as i know you have a lot on
Lily

It's a pleasure Lily. I will be recommending him to any friends etc who might be looking to buy in the future.

Can't thank both of you enough!

ps: sorry am not posting much at the mo, just back to work after holidays and it's a bit hectic.

thanks so much PC it's much appreciated sorry about double posts my pc going haywire
Hope you getting sorted out

Sorry hardly been on. Head is full!

Handed my notice in today!!!
Boss was fantastic - really understanding and supportive.

Finally some happy news

Feel like a big weight has been lifted.

Well done Baffy at least that is a major hurdle over onwards and upwards now eh to better things

Hi everyone - back in circulation for a bit - at least until I try to get my own ISP probably

Baffy - great news about the job! How much notice have you got to give? At least thats one less stress for you.

Everyone - hope youre all well, pregnancies going fine, OHs dicks shrivelling and dropping off as required.....

Congrats Baffy - honestly you will feel so much better for not spending so much time travelling.

Sorry hardly been on. Manic here!
Off to Magaluf for a girls weekend tonight so not back until Tuesday!

Will catch up properly then!

Have a lovely time and don't do anything i wouldn't she says sat here 5 months pg ?

Hi all, just a quick hello!

Baffy, glad to hear about the job & girly weekend, hope you enjoy!

Things pretty crap here tbh. H moved out properly on Thurs - also ds first day at school - so pretty upsetting. Dc's (4&2) still think Daddy's working strange hours so have to tell them something soon.

Feeling down so just keeping myself to myself really

Hope to catch you all soon xxx (OSJ)