NEW FAB AND GLAM

[Dior]

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great news baffy, go for it and enjoy!

things are mental here as am trying to sort out all the utilities, phone and internet accounts etc.

my vendor has said if we exchange 30th Nov then they will waive the extra £2k otherwise it will be payable or they will withdraw from the sale

we'll see i guess....

i have had a couple of emails back and forth with H. it's all very impersonal and civil. have had a couple more texts one where he said he'd got distressed when he walked past a restaurant we went to in September. i am only emailing him about the moving details tho.

he isn't asking to see dd but is asking for information about her - i'm not giving it. he says he will do anything to help and will act quickly to avoid me any more stress but doesn't seem to realise i need more than money and a quick response to an email. he doesn't appear to be offering any more than that.

don't really see that there is any way back from any of this unless he actually makes some sort of proposal which he isn't doing.

dd has also been sick again so have had a nightmare with that and the car battery failed yesterday so another £83 to pay out.

poor dd has been so good this morning whilst i've spent all day on the phone. this afternoon is going to be a visit to currys and carpetright so not exactly the most exciting day for her. had to skip swimming as i don't think her tummy is 100% settled yet.

sorry haven't been posting much, my head is just so full of other things.

ps: meant to say that i don't think H will do any more than he currently is unless i soften towards him and i think i am too far entrenched in keeping him at arms length.

he's probably already seeing someone else anyway.

Hi PC

Gosh! You really are going through it at the moment. I hope dd is feeling better soon. try not to get too stressed out about the house move, it will all be over soon Easier said than done I know.

As for H. Personally, I think if he was seeing someone else he wouldn't be showing so much interest in you and dd. I know its only through emails and texts but, it is interest.
Also, if we are being nice to him and understanding, maybe he is waiting for you to make the first move because he knows how much he has hurt you, how much he has let you down and is scared of the rejection he knows he will be in for. And if this is the case then, it also proves that he knows what an arse he has been!
One thing is for sure, he isn't leaving you alone is he?

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PC hope things all work out with the sale got my fingers crossed for you.
As for h not really sure what to say about that as i really don't understand his thinking or logic at all But if you have to tell him that you need more than what he is doing then i am really not sure he is worth it. Hope dd feeling better soon and am sure she will be fine today they are so thoughtful at times aren't they, i'm sure they know when you really need them to be good (shame h hasn't got the same insight )

PC - your vendors may be bluffing - surely it'll cost them more than 2k to pull out. Honestly, house buying is such a nightmare, hope I don't have to do it again for a LONG time. A house we wanted to buy 2 years ago, but the vendors went with another, first time buyer as they thought it would be more straightforward than our complications with two flats to sell, then they pulled it off the market for unknown reasons, is back on the market at 100k more! It's in the next road, identical to the one we DID buy, but I have no regrets - I like ours better, it has a nicer, west facing garden (the other faced east, not so good for drinking wine in the evening light) though the other one had a fancy kitchen and an extra loo & shower room (which DP found very attractive with two women in the family!) Hope things work out for you, I'll keep my fingers crossed.

I'm celebrating this lunchtime as I saw my oncologist this morning for my annual checkup - it's exactly 10 years since I was being treated for cancer on my collarbone, and I still have the all clear and no impairment to my left arm, which they were worried about as there was some nerve damage after the initial op.

So Hooray, who cares that it's raining !!!!!

TFM, true that he's not leaving me alone. not sure i can give him any indications at this point tbh. can't open myself up again at the mo.

dior, yes i agree. men need to be told but they shouldn't have to be. thing is, i've told him and told him and told him over the last 2.5yrs and he always agrees and promises but never delivers.

lily, good news today. tenants will be gone by 29th so the exchange should go thru 30th Nov. been out researching the cost of appliances

Tanee, huge congratulations! great to hear such good news. crack open that champagne and celebrate.

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Brilliant news Tannee!
Sorry you're stressed out PC, it won't be for much longer and at least you can start the new year afresh in a new house. Not sure about H, sounds like he's fishing for some kind of reassurance from you that you are still interested. Obviously your distancing yourself has done the trick.
The lady came to look at our house today re the exchange, she's got one more place to look at and will decide on Friday and let me know. She seemed nice (if a little thick!) and was quite keen so we'll wait and see.
Who knows - it might be a new year new start for me too.

Fantastic news tanee

And ginnedup I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you! Let us know what she decides.

PC I don't know how you're getting through the day at the moment with all of the things you have to sort out. I think you're right to keep H at a distance. If he can't work out for himself what he should be doing then there would be no point in telling him (again!) anyway. What is it with these blokes telling us how something triggers a memory and how upset it makes them?!... Had a similar message from H on Saturday about how a song made him think of a gig we went to, and how upset he was feeling... WTF?!
Do they want our sympathy? Do they want us to think that they must really have a heart to have been touched by the song/seeing the restaurant or whatever...
Having a real heart means being there for the person you love through thick and thin and doing everything in your power to make that person happy. Will they ever realise that??? I doubt it

(p.s. as for the applicance thing - I may have some things going spare, washing machine & freezer... send me a FB message if I can help out in any way xx)

And thank you for all the encouragement and good wishes about NM. I find it quite difficult (if that's the word) to just enjoy things and be happy. Got my cautious head on and barriers up I think!
Had a really good talk with NM on Monday night though and he seems pretty similar in the way he's thinking because of him being hurt in the past. We said we'd always be totally honest with each other and learn from the past and just see what happens...

(And tanee I don't know if I will ever let this one go - there is something special in him that I've never seen before. Although thinking about it... Maybe it's just maturity and lack of selfishness... basic things... but things I'm not used to all the same!! )

this morning's text message has very very nearly made me break my embargo.

seems he has brokered a deal with the landlord to have the house for 12 months at a reduced rent.

so after all my stress and heartache of buying and selling and moving just so i can buy a 2nd floor ex-local flat so i can have some stability and security for myself and dd he gets to swan into the lovely house in a lovely area (now the fishwife next door's moved out) without breaking a sweat.

then he asks for pic of dd - tempted to send the one i took of her just before she threw up everywhere on sunday.

then he says he hopes the nightmare will end soon for him too and that 2008 can start with a balanced agenda.

my tempting response would be "maybe your agenda could include actual parenting of and comittment to your child".

whatever happened to "what goes around, comes around"? he gets it so fecking easy.

tosser

sorry for my rant. need to breathe!

Baffy, thanks for the offer. Really kind but given the distance between us and I'd probably need to employ someone to fit things for me etc it'd probably work out same cost as to buy new. My CM has a Makro card so I may get some things cheaply there. Really appreciate your kindness tho.

NM does sound just what you need right now, try to just enjoy it in the moment. Let the past settle and the future will work itself out as you go along. NM doesn't have to be for life remember.

HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FINALLY I am back on-line (bloody crappy BT grrrrrr)

Boy have I missed you lot! Hope you are all ok? Baffy congrats about the job, great news. Haven't read through yet but will do so as soon as I've posted this, just so excited to be here, lol

Me, moved to new house on 1st Nov, all fine. Things have taken serious turn for the worse H wise tho as he told me last night he has met someone else he is interested in and it's all over for us Not really sure how I feel about it yet as it was rather out of the blue, just really gutted that now there is finally no way back for us. Have taken day off sick as my eyes were so puffy this morning and I didn't sleep last night.

However being back on-line and phone really helps as I'm not feeling so isolated now.

Hope to catch up properly soon xxxxx

pc I am stunned and so so for you
I really don't know what to say.
I wish I could see him face to face for just 5 minutes

His head is a mess and he can't even find it in himself to be balanced and stable enough to be there for his daughter (never mind his wife!), but can negotiate a cushy deal on his rent and sort himself a lovely place to live while his wife struggles with providing a roof over her's and his daughter's head!

pc how you have not exploded I don't know!!

Could you see him face to face and get all of this out? Would it help in any way? The anger and resentment inside of you must be building up so much right now... I'm worried for you... it has to come out in some way. Rather than letting it affect your mental or physical health in some way, I think you need to get it all out. I'm boiling mad just at hearing it all...

He hopes 2008 can be a balanced new start... for him.... what about you two!!!!!!

Am going to and come back in a minute when I can find some sensible advice and stop ranting...
Sorry!

btw sunshine welcome back!!

soooo good to see you

am so sorry hearing about H and him meeting someone
even though it's hard accepting there is no way back for you both now, do you feel any relief that perhaps you can now move on too?

I will write back in a minute when I have calmed down!!

Sunshine, thats so sad. I keep wondering when that will happen to me. Im quite content at the moment, but I think I would find that very hard.

Glad youre back though. Arent BT the crappiest service going!

Hi Sunshine, I'm so sorry to hear that - it must be really hard for you. Just be kind to yourself, and take your time. Remember we're here if you need us.

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SG/OSJ, was just thinking of you last night. glad to hear you're back in the world of communications. sorry to hear about H - it's a horrid feeling. am dreading having the same thing happen to me.

CM has just called to say dd has been sick again. very strange as she hasn't been sick since Sunday and seemed right as rain yesterday and earlier. CM says she's fine now too.

maybe I could ask --tosser- H if his balanced agenda for 2008 includes taking time off to look after sick children.

work is getting crazy and it's getting hard to keep leaving to look after her.

Well, I started writing this post about an hour ago and then we blew a fuse and all our computers, printer etc went down. Oh, such fun, have now been forbidden to plug our heater into the extension cable .

PC, I don't suppose it would be TOO much trouble for your H to actually come and see his dd and take a photo for himself?

I'm on a roll this week - volunteered to design a Christmas card for the Boss to send out to all her loverly voters - and it's been accepted ! This will be my first professionally printed artwork! It's only a simple painting of Rudolf the Reindeer smiling at a snow covered fir tree, with a big yellow Lib Dem moon behind him and ribbons and holly framing the scene, but I'm thrilled they liked it. No money of course (I volunteered when we found that the nice little photo of a deer that the office wanted to print cost 2K for copyright!) - but I get a credit on the back .

PC - poor dd - hope she will be better soon. Has she had a cold? My dd once had a cold and after she got better, went through several days being sick - the doctor said it was mucus and germs getting into her tummy and upsetting her. It wasn't nice at the time, but wore off after about a week.

wow tanee that's great news - well done!

pc I hope dd is ok? H bloody well should be doing his fair share of looking after her when she's ill. But he'd probably just let her down

I really hope you're ok. Thinking of you a lot xx

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Thanks all, it's good to be back. Feeling very low, can't believe that things with H are finally completely over. I feel really gutted but I suppose it was inevitable really given that we're now living properly apart etc. He just wants sex and can't wait any longer so is going to find some slapper to shag

And yes BT are CRAP!!! For starters they cut me off a week too early so have had no phone or internet for 3 weeks, grr, don't get me started lol

PC, I'm so sorry that H is STILL being a selfish bastard and not come to his senses. Is dd better? I hope to catch you on MSN and have a proper chat.

Dior, will be on later so definately catch up. Hope things are ok?

Baffy, a new man!!!! Tell me all....... So pleased you are finding some happiness. How are relations with H? Hope little man is good. Finally realised I was reading the wrong end of the thread & the job is old news! I don't know, I'm off line for a couple of weeks and even MN has changed

Fubsy how are things with you?

Tanee, that's GREAT news about your all clear

It's so great to be back

can't imagine how you're feeling sg

did you have a hope that you and H could sort things out? have you been talking about trying to sort things and getting on ok?

even if he is having casual relationships for the moment it doesn't mean there is no hope for you both. perhaps both of you seeing other people may help you realise what you're missing by not being with each other?

it depends whether you want him back eventually, or whether it's just difficult because it's so final and hard to actually accept the end? deep down is this what you want ro do you think you've made a mistake?

sorry for all the questions - just trying to catch up on where things are up to

we've missed you btw! xx