False promises

[heneverkeepshisword]

So basically my bf has cheated on me in the past, promised me he was sorry blah blah, then I caught him messaging her again.

He begged and begged and pleaded for 5 months for me to give him another chance, she's blocked etc etc....

So I said okay I'll give him one more chance but he has to change his number...he said fine he will do anything it takes...

He goes to check when his phone is up for renewal and says it's only in a couple of weeks so he will change his number then.....
He then gets a new phone and contract without changing his number....so I tell him again that I will only give him another chance if he changes it...he then agree to do it last weekend but then something came up so he couldn't, promises that this weekend he will do it...

Had the conversation tonight and now he's saying it's pointless as she is blocked so he's not doing it!

I feel I should just walk away now as 3 times he promised and now has backed down.
Not the only thing he's backed down on....he promises me so much when he's trying to get me back and then as soon as I'm back it all goes out the window!

I don't know what to do?

Tbh not looking at his emails today and it's the best I've felt in ages!

I'm doing my best on the self respect

You have to REALLY start valuing YOU above him.

I have the attitude now that anybody who does not value me or disrespects me has no place in my life. No access to my thoughts, my daily life, my body, my energy. Period. Zero negotiation.

I can recommend it. I got angry first though. I think it was because I realised I had taken his shit and kept taking him back and felt SO stupid.

Remember, any contact you give him is a sign of weakness. Don't feed his ego. Feed YOURSELF.

And you should know by now that his emails mean nothing. He is a liar.

You get nothing by reading them except yet another emotional setback.

Abusers see life as a game of chance and people to be played and exploited. He's playing the game he always wins. For YOU to win this time, you need to change your tactics from the bottom up.

No contact HAS to be no reading his bullshit. If you spent every day for the next year reading his messages and thinking about him, you would never progress. Start now with the REAL no contact.

Thankyou @Gemma1971 I really really appreciate all the help.

These last 2 weeks I guess have been a warm up....but today is day 1 of the real no contact! And bloody hell does it feel good!

From now on it's all about me and my kids!

Your right with his emails being lies! When I think about what he's saying it's all a load of rubbish. Of course he doesn't need to speak to me....he knows it's over I wouldn't of ignored him for 2 weeks if it wasn't.
I guess tho because I've done it before and he has still got me back that's why he's still trying!
Not this time!

Good, OP!!! That's exactly the right attitude!!

www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-forward/201508/5-ways-move-ex-you-still-love?utm_source=FacebookPost&utm_medium=FBPost&utm_campaign=FBPost&fbclid=IwAR2zKD_jnQPn_WRK3OWkVoKs34-u6GUATgFtAK84CAjmmepFvKLmnyeFHLc

Thank you. I think I have found my anger today!

But I'm more angry at myself for putting up with all the shit he put me through!

Why that first time I found out he was seeing his ex aswel as me I didn't walk away is a mystery to me! 🤦🏻‍♀️

Don't beat yourself up about the past. What is done is done. You are making better choices now, and breaking the cycle. That is all that matters.

And the Freedom Programme will help you choose better partners in the future. Have you signed up yet?

No I looked into it yesterday! I'm going to do the online version! As I can't get to the groups as I work the days there on!

Excellent!!

Bumped into him tonight.

Started saying he missed me etc but he gets why I am doing this. But please unblock him....I said....

"I can't I'm sorry I'm doing this for me"

Then walked off and wasn't even tempted to look at my emails or unblock him and message him or anything!

I hope your all proud 😂😂

You absolute fucking STAR!!!

YES!

🎖

Super proud! Well done xxx

good for you!

How and where did you bump into him?

Hurrah!! Well done you, that is awesome. You must have felt about 10 feet tall.

If someone is going to message/call they will, regardless if they change their number. He's playing games and loving it by the sounds of it.

It was in Tesco!
I never go on a Tuesday night so was completely random.
Was just as I was walking to my car!

So when this has happened before I would unblock him and text him!

I haven't....or even checked my emails! I'm probably not out of the woods yet but this is progress!

So can this still count as day 3 no contact? Like no real contact?

Yes you can. Well done. Have another 🏅

Do you think he followed you to Tesco ? Have you seen him outside your home ?

Are you sure he’s not put any apps on your phone that can track you?

Have you shared your location on something like Snapchat ?

yes I was wondering if it was 'accidental' !

Anyway, you dealt with it brilliantly, OP

No he's really not that clever!

He's terrible with technology and I don't have my location on snapchat also don't have him on it.

As to following me I really don't think so as I went straight there after work! He would of just been finishing work himself so no time to follow me from work!

Well done!
Next time.... No apology!
This is when it's gonna get harder.
Stay resolute - stay strong!
So proud of you!

Next time don't even talk to him. See him coming then pointedly turn around and walk the other way. Hide in the loo rolls aisle or something until he's gone.

Yea I couldn't really avoid him otherwise I would have!

I don't think you need to walk the other way.
A cool calm nod as you walk past will do.
No smile, just a PA nod.
Job done!