Dating thread 173 - Winter is coming - 'cuffing' is optional

[CodLiverOil556]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.
11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated
12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item. 😘

[AspieDating]

I have a quick question. I've planned to meet up with the person I've been seeing from OLD. We have day time plans, but then agreed to go back to their place to watch a movie.

Is this always code for getting intimate? Is it normal to clarify in advance? I'd be happy with either outcome - I'd like to get more intimate but I think they'd like things to go slowly which I'm also happy to do.

So far we haven't really been particularly intimate, but then our dates haven't been in places that would make it easy or appropriate.

Thanks!

[MoreNiceCereal]

I am usually quite blunt @AspieDating and discuss things like this with my date of I'm unsure. Generally straightforwardness is well received, in my experience.

[Marlboroandmalbec34]

Hey peanut! I’ve been off for a while so not sure what’s happening with you. Did it end with Mr U? Are you ok?

And shitwithnot sure what I’ve missed but I know you are not inadequate and Mr B is lucky to have you.

[putastrawunderbaby]

Thank you @EchoElephant I'm okay but unsettled. I know I struggle to trust (legacy of violent relationship) so when he said "I want to love you, let me in" and I got triggered and scared, I realised how much I don't want to let anyone in actually and am going for unavailable and odd men.....

And @Peanuthedz I know I'm clever and funny and attractive. Objectively. But I don't feel like I am. I feel like I'm substandard. So i may as well not be any of those things. So I generally go for lame ducks, or men who are a bit different. Or dim. Because I can't deal with the insecurity/inferiority of being with a clever:handsome/successful man. THANK YOU for this - a hundred times yes!

@shitwithsugaron we are not just single mums. I empathise totally but we need to recognise our worth, our resilience and our strength

[Neverexpected2]

Hi all - just checking in. Have my first date with MrPoliceman tonight. First since ghosted by MrWade. Not really expecting much. Been no flirting on messages to date and I'm not all that sure he has that much available time to date despite him saying the opposite. Oh well, it's a night out and some adult company as been by myself this week with kids away.

[saltysally]

Date with Mr Camera. I am hoping he's not an introvert. Will probably be my last cuffing candidate as I don't have any other irons and am getting too busy with other things.

[saltysally]

Loo update
He's very posh. Wasn't expecting that

And I'm not

This may be a short meet 😂

[saltysally]

Oh he's lovely

Will see him again on Saturday night. Will see what happens after that...

[putastrawunderbaby]

Lovely update @saltysally!

[Marlboroandmalbec34]

Love a posh one salty!

[saltysally]

Thank you. I've a goofy smile on my face

There was a little bit of groping and he said "love a decent amount of underwire." 😂

[MoreNiceCereal]

Interesting compliment..!

[BackInAtLast]

@saltysally that's a great update! 💃🏻

[saltysally]

It made me laugh @morenicecereal an acceptance that boobs don't stay up on their own, at least mine don't

[MoreNiceCereal]

Haha nor mine!

[CodLiverOil556]

Lovely update @saltysally! So MrM has a lovely singing voice and sent me a clip of him singing - so bloody romantic and has me swooning, blimey need to catch a grip on myself!

[lifegoes]

So my new iron Mr Ideal is just that. He's saying all the things I've wanted to hear, nlt in a BS way. He's making the effort I've wanted to see being made for so long. He makes me laugh. He's not too much. He's assertive. He's sexy. So date Sunday now as I had to change plans. But he was even lovely about that. 👀

[Peanutbuttermouth]

@saltysally he's not a tree surgeon is he?! I had a brief fling with an incredibly posh man who gave odd compliments very similar to that 🤣

[saltysally]

He isn't @peanutbuttermouth

[saltysally]

@KermitRulesOK your updates are so sweet. I awww for you

Fingers crossed @lifegoes there's someone good vibes in the air at the moment

I told Mr Camera about cuffing last night. After his eyes lit up 😉 he seems to think it is a good idea

[supercali77]

Great updates salty and lifegoes

I cant go into details (too outing and problematic) but I'm ok

I've deleted all the apps. The very thought of it reviles me atm. The 'not fun any more' rule is going strong. I still talk to mr sailor every day, hes been away 3 weeks! And another 2 to go till we could see each other again. It's kinda ridiculous but atm I'm not bothered by it. Tons of work on. Zero interest in working out the quirks of a new human. Christmas coming. 2020....that's what I'm focusing on!

[Neverexpected2]

Nice evening with MrPoliceman but dont think either felt a spark. Regardless I think I was right in that he really doesn't have all that much free time - seems less than me which is saying something

[Eesha]

@lifegoes good update from you, I've followed your stories and really hope this one is a good one for you!

@saltysally great update, I too wouldn't mind a posh boy. I sound posh but am not!

Hope those with dates have good times this weekend!

[BatshitCrazyWoman]

lifegoes and salty - great updates. shitwith single mums are awesome - I don't know Mr B's exact circs but if he doesn't have a child living with him most of the time then he has an incredible amount of spare time compared to you! As for the intellectual inferiority - we all have different strengths - Mr BC has a 'maths brain' and I really don't 😂😂 But I love words and can organise anything (physical objects or events - useful for my job) - one strength isn't better than another. Right now you're an amazing plate spinner, bringing up the next generation, looking after her physical, mental and emotional needs, running a house, going to work AND to college. Please don't underestimate that If Mr B can't build you up and boost you then he isn't good for you at all 😕