Dating thread 173 - Winter is coming - 'cuffing' is optional

[CodLiverOil556]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.
11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated
12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item. 😘

[Notcoolmum]

I'm glad you said that @Peanuthedz. The comment clearly came from someone who isn't understanding what it's like out there in dating land and it's not all 'fun' and handjobs...

I have the mirena @Sunshineandflipflops I'd recommend having it done at your sexual health clinic and asking for a local anaesthetic. Don't have it done at your GPs.


I'm in an exclusive FWB arrangement which is verging on a relationship but not quite. Although I worry for him it is one. For me he's just not a serious long term prospect. All he things he said he was aiming to do to improve his situation 4 months ago remain undone... but he is nice, and fun and treats me really, really well.

[Peanuthedz]

I will toilet update. I have a migraine brewing. Ffs. My main reservation is that he will be a boozer. And I am not.

[Peanuthedz]

@Notcoolmum It just made me feel depressed and demeaned. Particularly as it was posted by someone not dating. Yeah ladies, you give out handjobs any old where.

[Notcoolmum]

Yeh it made me feel the same way @Peanuthedz

[SimonJT]

On the whole cuffing thing someone mentioned

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/oct/14/cuffing-season-are-people-really-coupling-up-just-because-it-is-winter

[KeepCalmCarryOhFuckIt]

It seems a mixed bag going into the new thread. Good luck with the date peanut and phew sunshine that must be a relief!
Things are going OK with MrY but I'm not feeling especially happy. I think I'm still grieving for my marriage a bit and although some bits of our relationship are so much better, there's other bits that I'm just not sure about. Comparison is inevitable but I don't want it to ruin things.
notcoolmum I feel a bit the same re situation improvement not completed and its frustrating. But I guess I'm not perfect either.

[MoreNiceCereal]

Mr G has suggested we get matching pyjamas 😂😂

He's just as cheesy and goofy as I am, it's funny.

[InTheTempest]

Good luck peanut hope the migraine somehow disappears. Fellow sufferer ☹️

Notcoolmum I think you should enjoy spending time with someone fun, who is good to you. Maybe he'll get this together a bit but if you're enjoying yourself just go with it I reckon.

Keepcalm it's inevitable to compare. My ex is so horrendous that I think most people compare well against him 😂

I'm not feeling especially happy atm- I just feel lonely a lot of the time. It's be nice to have someone to actually cuddle up with, just do little things with.

[NoMoreWeepingAndWanking]

Oh no guys. Other way round. I don't want to let him see me when I'm feeling fine because i don't want him to think he's got away with what he did and feel like he's done me a favour somehow.

It's me being petty and perverse and it's probably hurting me more than him

[Peanuthedz]

No idea. Keep thinking about mr U. And our first date. Ffs. He's easy company though and it's nice to be out. This is what I like about dating.

[InTheTempest]

Peanut I kind of only went on a date the other night because I had a new dress I wanted to wear 😂 dates are to relieve boredom half the time.

I don't want to be dating any more though. I don't want a serious relationship but I want someone to have lie ins with and go for walks and spend all afternoon in the pub... all the couply things I suppose

[Peanuthedz]

I'm not sure I want those things yet @InTheTempest
I think I just want to go out in a dress and lipstick every now and then

[InTheTempest]

Peanut that's always good too 😂

[JeSuisPrest]

Thanks for the new thread @KermitRulesOK

You OK @supercali77?

[Peanuthedz]

So nope. No. So annoying. He has loads of physical attributes that I really like. But just wasn't feeling it. And he had a huge belly, just huge. Vast. But it was a nice evening but clearly I give off the wrong signals of else he's just overconfident. We left and he tucked my arm into his, which was ok. Then he kissed me in the lips at the station. Still ok. Then as I turned to go he slapped my arse. No. Nope. No. No. And I looked back and he just looked drunk and fat and pleased with himself. He's messaged already I can't read them. I can't piss on his party yet. This is the dating bit I hate. There's no room for me to say I wasn't feeling it because he hasn't given me any. I'm too bloody nice and friendly and warm.

[MoreNiceCereal]

WTF???

I'd be happy to piss on that particular parade!

[Originallymeonly]

Checking In, and after your great advice on the last thread I've called rules 4,6,8 and deleted Bumble. I can't work out how to delete affinity but I've not been on there ever, it just seemed to have been set up via match which is suspended but not deleted.
I'm not wholly out of the OLD as I am still WhatsApping one of the first irons, we've met once, established there's good chemistry and then can't actually organise a chance to act on it.
I'm fairly sure this is a bit of fear on both parts but we have lovely chats, swap videos and intend to meet again soon.
I'm staying with the thread because I have learned so much, but wouldn't call myself actively dating... As you'd need to be going on dates for that. I've got a penpal with intent...

[Peanuthedz]

@MoreNiceCereal yeah the arse slap really annoyed me. Over familiar, presumptuous.

[Peanutbuttermouth]

God he sounds awful peanut Definitely piss on his parade and tell him why too.

I've only been back on dating apps a week or so and am finding it utterly depressing. Had 2 lovely dates and a good shag with Mr SH only for him to ghost me. Had lots of initial attention on bumble but nothing went anywhere, and I wasn't overly interested in them either. Arranged a date for Friday with a guy who's now gone quiet and I can't be arsed to try and keep the messaging going. Just joined hinge tonight and it's all the same bloody men. Saw a man who I've known vaguely since we were teens and messaged him to say hello and commiserate, and even he hasn't got back to me! I feel like giving up and downing a bottle of wine!

[putastrawunderbaby]

Just checking back in to the thread after 6 weeks with someone who seemed so promising but turned out to be unhinged! He sent me a message earlier saying he wants my children to come to his funeral! They've never met him....god only knows what was going on in his head. I do seem to attract odd people.

[CodLiverOil556]

WTAF @putastrawunderbaby?? How on earth did that conversation happen?

So, MrM FaceTimed me this evening and asked me to be his girlfriend - was really lovely. I said of course I will be. We are quite literally the male and female versions of each other...it's really odd as it's only been 3 weeks but it feels right so am going with it 🤷🏻‍♀️ where's that smitten bench?

[Bluezoo123]

shit hope you're ok
kermit yay - I will smidge up on the smitten bench to make room for you!
supercali hope all ok with you
puta wtf?!
Happy gay Christmas simon - had a nightmare with pumpkin carving today including a preteen strop from ds but was a success in the end.have plans with friends and dcs for this evening so looking forward to that.
sunshine phew on the pg test
Apologies to anyone else I've forgotten!

[SimonJT]

@Peanuthedz Are you okay? That’s a vile thing to do, in public as well makes it even worse.

@putastrawunderbaby Odd, that’s not odd, it’s scary.

@KermitRulesOK Aww, that’s lovely ☺️

[BackInAtLast]

@Peanutbuttermouth that's just shocking, hope you're ok.

Happy gay Christmas @SimonJT too. All very different here to 2 years ago now dc are older...but we are in the main drag through the village so it will be busy here.

MrMaserati and I were trying to arrange to meet and in the end called because the logistics of life are just too much. We are meeting Sunday eve after he has seen his DD who is local to me. He's very different to many irons have spoken to and isn't much of a texter, but does seem great on the phone at least.

MrShoreditch was out last night but messaging still brewing.

Argh am late, good luck everyone!

[putastrawunderbaby]

@kermitrulesok @cocokoko123 @SimonJT he sent me 16 whatsapp messages one after another - you can imagine the bewilderment becoming horror as my phone kept pinging - in which he went on a rant which centred around his need to tell me he loves me (after 6 weeks) and his lack of comprehension that I wasn't saying it to him. Anyway I sent a terse reply explaining that I didn't want him meeting my children or merging our lives or him helping me with my sails (no idea) or planning his funeral, or anything else he'd suggested, which in his mind then showed our lack of "soul connection" and he dumped me.

@peanuthedz was your date on holiday from the 1970s? I thought that behaviour went out with the ark