Dating thread 173 - Winter is coming - 'cuffing' is optional

[CodLiverOil556]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.
11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated
12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item. 😘

[MoreNiceCereal]

Thread!

[MoreNiceCereal]

Time to end the

[Jane1978xx]

@NoMoreWeepingAndWanking get on Pof or tinder and lower the age of the men to mid/ late 20s and you’ll be inundated 😂

[Jane1978xx]

@UtterSocks. The fact you haven’t had sex in years 😂. I’m the same. I thought I had no interest anymore but once I started on dating sites and got the idea in my head something switched back on. I had a few people lined up that would have been just a hook up but I’ve met someone I like so I’m not pursuing those. But yeah I was like who am I 😂 some of the messages I was sending 😳😳

[NoMoreWeepingAndWanking]

I went for two 6k runs this weekend. I knocked 30 secs per km off my pace i was so fucking horny

Damn that FWB

[MoreNiceCereal]

NoMore! Step away from those thoughts. Utter madness lies that way.

I am also feeling feisty without release so I get you. But nooooooo to the ex!!

[NoMoreWeepingAndWanking]

Yes i am just trying to finish the thread now

[NoMoreWeepingAndWanking]

I am so fucking in need of a shag. I seriously considered sex with the ex last night. Luckily stomach ache stopped me from pursuing that.

[NoMoreWeepingAndWanking]

Also...
New fred
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3746684-Dating-thread-174-where-we-remind-everyone-of-rule-no-13?watched=1

[NoMoreWeepingAndWanking]

Uttersocks - just do it and don't ovetthink. I am so freaking jealous. I would kill for something like that. Do it and post all the dirty details here

[MoreNiceCereal]

You only live once, Socks!! Go for it and have a blast.

[UtterSocks]

Ok so last night I did something really out of character - neither of my irons had asked me out, I was home alone as both kids staying overnight elsewhere and was messaging new Bumble match who asked to meet me within the hour. So I went to a pub and met him for two drinks and had that immediate lust thing which I never have. I literally could not look at him without blushing. So after two drinks he drove me home and we were snogging in the car like teenagers. I could have asked him in but I didn’t as it would have been a step too far for me, but he messaged me when he go home and we spoke on the phone and it was quite steamy. And I literally have nothing in common with him and have no interest in a relationship but I know I will see him again when I can fit it in just for sex. I have not had sex in years. This is so not me. I feel like an alien has possessed me. WTF is going on??! Talk to me people

[bangheadhere40]

@Echo, I agree that you aren't being unreasonable, plus you had your reservations about Mr Dog after how he reacted the other day.

I'm feeling really disheartened, I seem to have a few chats, but nothing meaningful, just hi how are you etc....and then they vanish. I don't think I am even going to get any dates at this rate.

[unambiguousbeard]

@EchoElephant I'm 51 and I have a 7 year old. I'm not sure when I'll be able to have a proper relationship again. I was quite happy with that idea before Mr U. I liked the idea of a series of flings. Not sure what I want now. But yeah men if our age are child free

[EchoElephant]

Thanks guys. I didn't think I was being unreasonable.
We met three times in a week. First date was a lovely meal, then the other times were drinks. Today was supposed to be lunch at nice cafe that he'd said he wanted to visit.

I think some of it was miscommunication. Those early days when you're trying to second guess what the other person means.

But I also think it's a general thing with men have fewer commitments and not understanding that I'm not able to just meet whenever they are free.
Doesn't help that most women my age (52) are unlikely to still have children at home. It seems to come as a shock to men that I can have a teenager at my age!

[unambiguousbeard]

@EchoElephant that's unreasonable of him. Of course it's when you want to meet as you're the one with demands on your time. I have similar in that despite my age my kids are very young. Men always seem to have fewer commitments.

@NoMoreWeepingAndWanking William is waiting for you. You're just not ready for him yet. It's such early days

[Jane1978xx]

It does sound a unreasonable and the first times of meeting I’d expect a proper date as well really. Like gojng for a meal at a set place and time and not just lets meet up now

[EchoElephant]

Jane1978xx I wish it was that simple.
He knew I was busy with my daughter this weekend but asked three times if I had time to meet.
We'd discussed doing something today but then yesterday evening he told me he was busy today. Said he didn't think I was that bothered about meeting so had arranged to do something else. That made me angry so I sent him a copy of the text where I'd explicitly said time, place etc to meet and he'd said yes to it.

That's when he said I didn't seem to have time for a relationship because it seemed we could only meet when it was convenient for me.

I think he's being unreasonable about it. But it's a problem I come across again and again.

[Jane1978xx]

@EchoElephant. Could you not work around it ? If he knows the days you are free so he only asks you short notice on those ?

[TigerDater]

nomore that is really crap behaviour by a selfish and immature creep. Words fail me, I’m so sorry. You’ve done the right thing by calling him out and deleting him. I would consider blocking as well.

William is searching for you, I have no doubt.

[EchoElephant]

I ended it with Mr Dog yesterday. It wasn't about what happened on Friday, we talked about that and sorted it out.
It was the same problem I always have with men around my age. They have no commitments other than themselves. Whereas I have a teenage daughter at home, run my own business and volunteer to help with the sports clubs I'm in.
He expected me to be available at short notice which I can't be.

Different expectations? Or one of us is unrealistic? I'm not sure. But it's made me stupidly upset today.

[Jane1978xx]

So (give him a name) mr Friday messaged me and he said he was sorry and could see why I thought he was serious when he said shall I come over. And now it’s back to chatting normally 🤷🏼‍♀️ Xx

[NoMoreWeepingAndWanking]

My FWB ditched me because he said he couldn't be involved with someone he was into and not have it go somewhere. I asked if we couldn't be juat friends, or even that there was anothet option...
He juat ghosted me. So i sent him a message telling him it was shitty behaviour and that he knew the friends aspect was important to me. Then i deleted his details.
I feel a bit crap.

He was the first new man is kissed or slept with in 15 years. I thought he was kind and nice and that we had a friendship. I had specifically said that that was important because i knew I'd feel rubbish otherwise. And i do. I feel like a cheap hookup now.

I should definitely stick to William.

[Jane1978xx]

I agree friends make you feel so much better. Even if you invite kids friends over then ask their mums in for a coffee or get chatting with neighbours you can make friends. My have helped so much these last 6 months

[TigerDater]

timetravelling I’m really sorry you are feeling so low. Can you work on developing more friends - esp other mums - so you feel better supported generally?