Dating thread 173 - Winter is coming - 'cuffing' is optional

[CodLiverOil556]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item. 😘

Yes, thanks @shit, I get it and I've decided to sack it off unless he contacts me again. This endless chatting is ridiculous, he could have a girlfriend for all I know and I'm sure just likes the messaging.

@bangheadhere40 if you're close to stopping maybe just ask him, see the response and go from there? Nothing to lose.

@unambiguousbeard definitely feeling the same. Been swiping lots today to try find a distraction but never meet anyone when that's my reason. I'm not in the right frame of mind either.

Date 3, first kiss, so awkward, not the best kiss would be an understatement. Felt like a 13 year old doing the washing machine snog. BUT I like this guy, he's hilarious and very sweet so I will see him again and give the kissing another go.

Nice @Peanutbuttermouth !!! 👏

My date tonight - we'll call him Mr. TightShow-off, was exceptionally full off himself (& there was a lot of him to fill 😂) & banged on about how he is 'big and clever' (urgh).

And, after asking me on text by saying 'could I buy you dinner please?',suggested we split the bill! Bastard.

mummy what a tosser. Not even worth a polite thank you I’m thinking.

banghead sounds like the perfect candidate for deleting chat, deleting number but not blocking. That way he may or may not come back, but you’ve removed the temptation/ability to contact him

Oh yuk mummy he sounds awful. I agree with Tiger, bang delete his number - it's such a waste of time to endlessly message. Meet as soon as possible!

banghead Mr Bad back sounds like Mr skinny, we chatted for ages before actually meeting, he seemed more chatty via texting then he did in real life, I felt he was just looking for a pen pal, I think he was just lonely. It got boring pretty quickly and because we text so much I kind of felt like I couldn’t just walk away after I met him. From now on I’m not doing the “chat non stop for weeks” thing, I would rather get on and meet someone within a week so I can make my mind up sooner.

Mr beard is messing me around, vanished again last night after saying he would message me (said this at lunch time, didn’t hear anything from him). I might download bumble later and try that though seems to always be the same people as tinder. I have a couple guys messaging me on tinder but they are way out of my league and not really my type.

Just tried an over 50's dating site, was on there for a week now deleted my account.
I've never seen a scruffier display of men in my life, no teeth, not wearing any clothes in the pictures, dick picks and disgusting sex talk as a preliminary. I felt quite sick. Who thinks I want to see their 75 year old scrotum?
They are probably all married as well.
There must be more upmarket sites than this?

Eww madcatlady that sounds horrific!

madcatlady I'm over 50 and just used Tinder, Bumble and POF. Maybe it's denial but I didn't want anything to do with something that marketed itself on age alone!

I've deleted his number, just pointless.

Sorry to those who had less than exciting dates, better things are yet to come.

Just had a nice message from Mr Manchester who would like to chat later, we will see.

Awful pic about the scrotums @cat, yuck 🤮

@lovemusic, not sure what's happened about Mr Beard but if you think he's messing you around he probably is, and it's not worth it.

I think we have to be very hard skinned with these men and just eliminate them quickly if they aren't upto scratch.

@madcatladyforever eugh!!!!! Vile.

@Lovemusic33 What are you going to about Mr Beard? If you think the other guys are really not your type should you just delete them? I find it a waste of mental energy when I know it’s never going to go anywhere satisfying.

So Mr Flowers messaged me a lovely text last night, early evening, and my reply admittedly wasn’t quite as gushy but he didn’t reply at all.

I asked how his night had been this morning and he was a bit funny. We’re supposed to be meeting up later but no fixed plans. I swear I’m going to stop this... I was kind of groomed into accepting this by narc ex and I need to get better at only accepting fixed plans as I end up in some kind of limbo wondering....

Morning everyone

I think I posted a few threads back and now I’ve finally dipped my toes in the water.

I had my first date two weeks ago with someone who seemed so perfect.. mr unicorn tears... that was my first lesson! Lovely evening but I did feel like I was having a job interview and I got my polite rejection two days later. At least he didn’t ghost me?!

Then I joined hinge with gusto and chatted to about 5 different people at once and got myself confused.

One, mr surfdad, asked for a date but his messages were about one or two words each and I’m getting a bit stuck for conversation. He messaged again last night asking if I’d like to see him to which I replied I would but he’s over an hour away and our child free weekends don’t match so it would take some planning.

I’ve got a coffee date this week with mr.dog. I’m not entirely keen I’m finding him a little patronising over messages. But he does seem nice and friendly. Should I cancel or go for the coffee? I think I need a little more practice!

Also, I’ve had about three ask to meet up then go quiet when I say yes and suggest a day, is this normal?!

The first asked for my number and said he’d WhatsApp to arrange the next day, in the morning he’d unmatched and I never heard from him. I wondered what the point was...?

@ginghampanther go for the coffee date - you never know. And think of it as a getting to know you rather than a date. People are very different in text vs in person. And at the very least you’ve started the ball rolling.

Mr Flowers just texted again. He’s feeling a bit rough but he’s more like himself now. I think I worried he’d been put off by my breezy response last night. Thankfully he’s not...

Same @BatshitCrazyWoman ... OurTime feels like giving up to me! And @madcatladyforever has just confirmed why it's a bad idea

I've had a marvellous weekend filled with family and friends, food and drink, and I have realised that if I had a big family/housemates around me all the time I wouldn't even care about dating. I just have a real terror of loneliness and am not good on my own. Dreading DD leaving for University in 2021. But is dating the answer? My experience so far of online men has been a bit

Got a load of matches on Bumble finally but they don't respond... so definitely just a narcissist playground where I'm concerned. Tinder the same ... matches, not messages. Mr Everyman dropped off the WhatsApp radar on Friday morning (after fairly consistent messaging all week) and reappeared last night saying his phone screen had broken but I suspect he is lying, probably out shagging (just a feeling I have, his business of course but I'm not being his 'reserve') and Mr Beardish is away for the weekend. It's just feeling so tedious today!

How is everyone else doing this Sunday?

gingham cold feet, crisis of conscience, something in their lives... nothing you can do about this. Don’t take it personally. It happens. x

Oh and also Mr Everyman sent me a pic on WhatsApp to illustrate something we were talking about on Thursday and he looks a few years older on it than on his profile pics. Could be a bad photo and I know we all use our best ones on profile but hmmm.....

@uttersocks does he look the age he says he is? Does he look significantly older?

I always worry that I’ll be a disappointment irl as of course I put my best pics up so I throw a no makeup one in there too to keep it real.
Some guys actually comment that they like that one best?!

Thanks @khaleesi ok I’ll go for the coffee!

I find that with bumble too, I’ve got quite a few matches but it’s rare they reply and I do send more than just ‘hello’

I had one match on there who was ridiculously beautiful, I nearly didn’t message because he was so beautiful. I did in the end, he didn’t reply and I was quite relieved.

Hi all
What a great read. I'm single mum. Since divorce did the dating thing and was with my last bf for 4 yrs

I finished that for various reasons but slowly thinking of my next steps In life re dating. Do I want it do I need it etc. So reading peoples experiences is a great tonic and a time waster

Good luck all

Can I park my butt in here please? I possess a y-chromosome so please don't hesitate to tell me to do one if you prefer...

I've just deleted Bumble for the second time after a grand total of three likes and no messages. I've put this down to absentmindedly setting my location to Rockall or someone hacking my account and replacing my profile pics with pics of Farage...

But, of course, this hasn't done much for my confidence...

But, I'll persevere. And it's fascinating to read of your experiences, good and not-so...

I've always been shy and at the moment I'm also awaiting an adult ASD assessment... I've generally gone through life having absolutely zero clue as to how to read and react to other peoples' signals - my usual reaction has been not to react to them at all and probably appear totally uninterested when deep down that sometimes hasn't been the case at all. So if ever the need arises, I might ask for a little advice on that count?

I've read the rules, GL in your pursuits everyone...

Hello to all the newbies! Does this mean I'm not a newbie any more?