Online date turned up looking nothing like his pictures

[Crystal1981]

So I had been talking to a 28 year-old guy for a week. He sounded lovely (honestly hadn't spoken to anyone that nice before) and he looked very cute on his pictures.

We arranged to go for a drink and he told me he would be outside a café in a blue coat and black jeans.

I got there early so hovered around. I saw an older grey haired man waiting outside but couldn't see him. He then texted again saying he was under an umbrella and I realised that older man WAS him.

Now I know people can use pictures that are a couple of years old and pictures can be filtered, men can add an inch or two.
But honestly not sure this was the same person.

If that guy was 28, i'm the prime minister.
He had virtually a full head of grey hair. There is nothing wrong with grey, but using only photos where you have brown hair is misleading.

He looked like a different person to his photos and much, much older.
I thought there was no point even going for a drink and getting his hopes up. I text saying I had an emergency and got straight on the bus home.

I know that was really not good what I did but neither is misleading someone.
What would others have done ? Anyone else had this experience ?

I went out with a guy I met OLD - he told me he was 5'8. I am 5'6 and he was the same height as me. He actually accused me of lying about my height!

There's nowt so queer...

should have, should have, FGS, it's should have^.

@Zaphodsotherhead that is hilarious!!!

@Zaphodsotherhead. I think men generally add a few inches 😂. I’m 5 7 so I’d only go for men 5 10/11 or taller to take into account the lie

@zaphodsotherhead, all short men I know are convince they're 5'10, backed up by the other short men they know who also believe that they are 5'10. I don't think they realise that they're lying lol

I'm still stunned that people are making out the OP did something wrong and should have put up with an uncomfortable situation even out of politeness?

Would you say the same to your daughters?

Dione Really? Thats your intelligent mildly insulting input?? How often have you actually tried online dating?? Ok so "nice looking honest appearing" men cant be rapists ect ect..🤣🤣🤣Crack on love Honesty you didnt need of bothered lmfao.

Wow some nasty ol comments here..anyone tried online dating?? Nope didnt think so and btw MrGsFancyNewVagina in 48 and im noones surrendered whatever, own house own car ext and have no intention of been. 🤣🤣🤣Hence im not bitter and twisted. 😁

Yes, in fact, if you read the thread, you'll see it's full of peoples' experiences with online dating and liars and people with shit grammar.

i met dh inline dating. hes not a liar. i never felt an obligation to date people i didnt like.
telling women to ignore their instincts, or making them feel bad for not spending time with repellant men is unforgivable.

@timshelthechoice ... and people with shit grammar. I noticed that too. I mean WTH? That very funny line :)

What did I say that was mildly insulting?

anyone tried online dating?? Nope didnt think so
Erm, yeah, me. And loads of other posters on this thread. Honestly Sissyjd, there's wiser than you in the White House.
^ actual mildly insulting input^

I would give you a robust response, if I actually understood what you were trying to say.

My sister claims to be about 30 years younger than she is in OLD, and uses a suitable pic. I would love to be a fly on the wall when some unsuspecting bloke turns up to meet her.

Does she actually arrange meet ups Tilda?

LMAO this is so hilarious !

She lies about her age by 30 years 😳😲
Christ!
she's got more front than Woolworths 😲

I think I'd have gone on the date anyway and just said after that you don't think there's chemistry. I know a 25 year old woman who is completely naturally grey..

Either way I couldn't hurt someone's feelings that much tbh

They do it because they think women will be too nice to say anything. Sod that crap

You couldn't hurt someone's feelings that much, Lemon? Not even when they have quite transparently deceived you? You owe them nothing!

"ton181 Mon 28-Oct-19 18:18:40
@cleansupdragonpoo

How do you know he lied? I used to work with 2 ladies who were both 60, one looked 40 the other looked 80.

She assumed he was older, jumped to conclusions, she didn't know for sure!

So all the men that jump to conclusions about women are right. Or is it one rule for one and another rule for another?"

@ton181 There's only one rule that counts with OLD images: use a recent photo that represents you properly, then no one has an unpleasant surprise to deal with. OP was perfectly justified in leaving when the man looked nothing like the image he'd used to get her to agree to meet him. Anything else is deception, whatever gender is involved.

I've got a DP now but previously I did a lot of online dating. It certainly gave me some interesting stories!

I think that lots of men and women manipulate the photos they use. I'm not saying it's acceptable, just that it's commonplace. People fear that if they don't look like some kind of model in their photo, they'll never get chatting to someone. Whether it's photoshopping out the extra curves or using older pics, it happens all the time.

Also, while we're on the subject - filters! I've seen before and after filtered pictures where you'd never know it was the same person. There are makeup apps which put on realistic-looking make-up, on top of the filtered eyes, skin, face shape etc. It's bloody ridiculous as there are lots of girls using these as their actual pictures as they bear no resemblance at all to what they actually look like. It really pisses me off.

It's hard to really judge without seeing pictures for ourselves. You got a squiffy glance at a grey haired geezer under a brolly so maybe up close he would have looked more like his pics? Or maybe not? You didn't leave him hanging around, you texted him an excuse so I don't think it's terrible. Your choice not to meet him. The only thing I'd say is imagine if that were you and you'd clicked with a guy really well online and he didn't turn up - and then you found out he thought you were minging in real life and didn't look like your profile picture. Would you have felt disappointed that he wouldn't have gone through with the date, just to see if you did have a spark and a connection? In my experience, someone can look fairly meh when they're just standing there - but when your eyes meet, and they're smiling at you, an attraction can appear out of nowhere.

You absolutely did nothing wrong, but if it were me I might have been inclined to at least give it a go, especially as you'd had that amazing connection online. Unless of course that he was so unattractive that he turned my vagina into the Sahara desert upon sight. Then I'd have hopped on the bus too.... 😂

Far too many penis pleasers here. It's sickening to see.

Women, you owe men NOTHING. And if the dude is deceptive from the start, even less so.

The weird thing with my '5'8' guy - I hadn't set a height limit. I don't really like very tall men, and I prefer men the same sort of height as me - so his height lies were all completely pointless from my point of view!

Re my sister and the 30 year age gap - we are NC now, heard this and looked her up, she is also doing the same on FB, knocking 30 years off, saying she studied at Oxford etc.... she's deluded. God knows what her poor kids make of this. I heard she had met some men via OLD but not of the result.

. I think men generally add a few inches

Yes in every department