My dh and I have been married for 17 years and have two dc. Since the second dc (3) I’ve been a sahm. This is for various reasons, partly bexhase dh is away a lot and so everything regarding the children falls to me and partly because I was very unwell after dc2 and he was very unwell too.
My dh is a high earner - between £100k and £150k annually depending on bonuses. We don’t have a mortgage. We don’t have a joint account. Each month dh gives me £650. From that I spend about £100 on petrol and a further £100 on food. Dh pays for all other bills.
I’m left with £450 a month - I tend to pay for the children’s clothes (not shoes, can’t afford it) and day to day activities because I’m at home with them. I also give ds1 £20 pocket money a month. £450 sounds a lot but it isn’t. I struggled a lot over the summer holidays. If I want a hair cut or to buy a gift or go out for an evening I have to save. Dh meanwhile bought himself a very expensive watch last month because he felt like it and spends a lot of money on his hobby. He describes £50 as ‘not much money.’ He’s also been abroad with friends etc and obviously has no trouble affording it.
I understand it’s all his money and he’s earning it - I’m looking for a job. But I’m really struggling regarding money. I have the children all weekend too and finding things that are basically free is difficult. Ds1 is 11 now so his clothes are more expensive.
Dh won’t discuss it with me.
I just feel a bit, I don’t know, like a child. Like he gives me a set amount and that’s it and I don’t get a say in any financial decisions.