Dating thread 172: from developing a rhino hind to finding love in the unusual places...the rollercoaster of dating!

[CodLiverOil556]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item. 😘

Hi all, I haven’t been on the thread in over a year because I gave up on dating after my last OLD relationship disaster

So I was back on the horse for a bit, a few chats going on but not really leading anywhere- then I hit it off with one, Mr IT and we had our first date this week which went really well with plans to see each other again this week.
The only real negative so far is that after he’s had a few pints at the weekend he messages me and it’s so repetitive- last night he told me he was watching something on tv 4 times in 25 mins- literally the same message and seemed shocked when I said he’d already told me.
He doesn’t drink during the week, just on a Sunday afternoon it seems so is it something to be worried about?

I feel like I am on the constant watch for red flags so maybe I’m making it into a bigger deal than it is- he’s a grown man and allowed to have a few drinks.
The repetitive messages are off putting though, but that is my issue because I hate repeating myself

Oh @KermitRulesOK that is breath catching stuff. I love hearing the soppy bits of everyone else's dating adventures.

@saltysally Apparently loads of people feel like that about autumn/winter. There was an article I read in the guardian recently about 'cuffing season' (www.google.co.uk/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/oct/14/cuffing-season-are-people-really-coupling-up-just-because-it-is-winter).

@Quandary2018. He must be hammered then to not remember or is he sending the same message somehow ?

I agree that the first time having sex with someone else after a long relationship is hard. And a bit weird (no matter how much you want it).

MrSG was the first person I'd slept with after a decade with my ex. I was really nervous about the whole sex thing. It wasn't helped by the fact that sex had been a real issue in that relationship (he was abusive). But obviously I really wanted to get naked with MrSG. I remember getting down to it and looking at him mid-DTD and finding it really odd to be looking at him while shagging. The weirdness passed quickly though. It turned out that he was really nervous about it too (I was the first person he'd slept with after his marriage failed too).

The feeling of love and affection is definitely a thing to miss @NoMoreWeepingAndWanking. It's good that you've recognised that's what is missing (rather than your actual ex). It's something you can find again, when you're ready.

I forgot about that term, Woo. I'd happily be cuffed 😂

Morning all...

Just checking in to report on what a massive failure I am. Was out with friends on Saturday night and had rather a lot to drink. Ended up texting fireman, and then a bit of sexting followed between us which is so not me... I've deleted it all but I am struggling to see why I can't just let this guy go. I thought I was over him...

@NoMoreWeepingAndWanking I feel the same. It seems just as hard to find one person who wants an exclusive FWB as someone who wants a relationship.

@KhaleesiTargaryen you're not a failure, you had a moment of weakness. Don't beat yourself up.

@NoMoreWeepingAndWanking I felt the same as you till I met my FWB and it's been so enlightening as to what I've let myself miss out on in the past and it's continuously improved. Long may things continue for you.

I agree that you are not a failure @KhaleesiTargaryen. We all have moments of silliness, especially when drunk.

@WooMaWang I tried looking back through the threads to see your timeline with MrSG and couldn't (we talk a lot on these threads lol) how long were you with him before you felt this is it!

Thanks woo and eesha Going to spend the day keeping busy/cleaning/cooking/shopping. Whatever it takes to restore my feelings of worth. x

You are human @khaleesi I would delete all his contact details to avoid temptation. It's the only thing that stops me 😂

Delete his number for sure, @KhaleesiTargaryen. I drunk texted an old iron a few times and was so embarrassed, but it passed. I think it's normal.

I got drunk last night and texted soppy messages to Mr G, woke up to him replying with smiles and kisses. He's a good un.

Love reading the happy updates on here, gives me hope!

Khaleesi don't beat yourself up, everyone's been there I'm sure. Delete the number to avoid the temptation. Don't be down about yourself and self care is vital today. Take some time to do something really nice for yourself.

I'm really confused right now. Mr Hendricks, who I've been on two dates with and message most days, seems to really like me, and would be down for more than sex I think. He's good looking, fit body, nice lad. 22. I did however have a hook up with his older brother, also met on tinder (before I met him). He is well aware of this though. Can you imagine, if we were actually dating properly, ever meeting the family? Jesus my life.

I cannot seem to get past Mr Cath Fach! He just gets me going in every way. I'm supposed to be seeing him on Friday, I was thinking of making it the goodbye. Because it inevitably will be goodbye, if I tell him I've got the feels. But then I can move on hopefully. Really, all I'll be doing is explaining why I can't have sex with him anymore. Because I can't do it now there's feelings involved.

@InTheTempest. Yes that would be awkward , I’d feel awkward if people even knew each other 😂. How old are you ? Big age diff with 22 year old x

Sadly sex with stbx was really good. Better than this hookup by a long way. Oh well. I'll find it agsin. I have to believe that

KhaleesiTargaryen we've all done something like that. You're not a failure, just human with emotions.
Delete his number or if you can't bring yourself to do that yet, save it as "Don't message this headfuck".
That's stopped me from messaging a couple of people I shouldn't in the past.

If anyone is tracking my dating history then they'll know things have gone wrong when my house is spotlessly clean. I have a mad cleaning frenzy whenever OLD gets too much.

@KermitRulesOK I think my name changes have muddled the timeline.

I think I knew this was it embarrassingly quickly. Due to scheduling difficulties we messaged for a while before we could actually meet and he was totally lovely (yes, I know that doesn't necessarily translate). When I finally met him I remember walking towards the pub and thinking 'if I fancy him and he's like he is in messages, I'll probably fall in love with him'. I didn't tell him (or anyone else) that because it's so ridiculous.

He was just like he is in messages and really gorgeous in person. He was shorter than I was expecting. I hadn't asked (because I don't care) and had realised he wasn't tall from his photos. But he is the same height as me.

Actually knowing that this was it took a matter of weeks. I was pretty certain within a month of meeting. Obviously I didn't share that information with him at that point either (because I do know that people can pretend for a few weeks or months). I was right though. He is pretty much perfect for me (rather than objectively perfect - his foibles are definitely things I can live with).

He properly moved into my house on Friday. It's chaos because it's not big enough for everyone. But the new house sale will take a few more weeks.

Jane I'm 31 but do look a lot younger. Act it too I reckon!

Both of my irons are 22. Dunno how that happened tbh, I always used to go for older men!

Woo how lovely to find someone like that. Really wish it's happen. It will at some point I hope...

@InTheTempest. That’s not a Huge difference I’m nearly 41 and I get mid 20s men contacting me a lot but I think that’s too young for me 😂.

Jane it depends on what you want though. If you want some fun I'd highly recommend it 😂 less likely to find someone for a relationship though I guess

@KhaleesiTargaryen We all get hooked in by the wrong 'uns. It's normal......this is why Delete exists. X

@WooMaWang that's really lovely. MrM is just like he messages and he's also a lot shorter than I normally go for I'm 5'3" and he's 5'6" but is just the right height actually.

Our messages are flowing and I smile when my phone pings with a message from him. I have kissed a lot of frogs and also had my heart broke by a toad but I feel it's my time now. I have to remember that MrM is not MrT and I realised I ignored a prominent red flag (hindsight is a wonderful thing). Yes, I'm heading to the smitten bench and he's the loveliest bloke I've ever spoken to and he's an amazing kisser (we haven't dtd yet)

@KhaleesiTargaryen you're not a failure - thank god I deleted MrT's number or I would have messaged him lots when drunk! Onward and Upward!

@InTheTempest I'm 41 and 20's would have been too young for me lol!

Love your story @woomawang ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

Conundrum - is a lunchbreak really a lunchbreak unless you spend it sobbing loudly in your car?