Dating thread 172: from developing a rhino hind to finding love in the unusual places...the rollercoaster of dating!

[CodLiverOil556]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item. 😘

Just got back from my date with Mr Surgery. Started off as coffee, then decided to go and see a film. Couldn't tell you the plot as I was too distracted by his hand on my hip making lazy circles and cuddling. Then we went for dinner. Sat talking in there for ages, then went for a drive and another coffee until I had to force myself to leave. The date lasted 6 and a half hours. The goodbye kiss was amazing, already agreed on date 2 before I left. Hands down the best date I have been on and he's already called me to say goodnight.

Ah Dancer that's proper lovely that is!

I had a nice phone conversation with Mr G tonight, we talk about all sorts of things from politics to fashion. And he talks really respectfully about his ex's which is such a good sign. He's so astute and a deep thinker. He really notices and pays attention to me. I'm really enjoying this with him. He's a good 'un I think.

Holy. Fuck.
Ok. New iron definitely deserves a nn. He's not irish. Am going to go for Mr double barrelled (Yes. I have his surname). Just spoke on the phone for like 2 hours. Sexy SEXY voice. Arranged a date for Sunday.
Accidentally had phone sex. Totally worth any rules it broke. Phwoar.

Now i have to try and calm down enough to sleep.

@Peanutbuttermouth nothing wrong with giving a second date and keeping looking just in case there's no spark.

So happy to see all the positive date stories. And the phone conversations 🤭

Some lovely updates! I'd give a second date a whirl too peanutbutter I notice the age gap at times but the longer we've been together, the less it bothers me.
Of course I'm not meaning to generalise but I thought the same as Ant that the younger men were the dick pic generation but the worst offenders I've had for unsolicited at least dick pics have been men around the mid-30's mark. They've also found the dc situation much more of an issue than MrY, who handles it amazingly. He's never once brought up meeting mine, except to say if/when the day comes he will be nervous about making a good impression. Oh god I think I'm falling for him

I agree KeepCalm - all the ones who've replied by launching straight into sex talk or talking about wanking have been mid to late 30s or early 40s. The younger ones have let me set the tone... and then run with it

Maybe the thread weddings will be like buses, @StealthNinjaMum. 😂

I think younger (millennial) men often have learned to present themselves if more woman-friendly ways. They'll say the right things. But I'm not sure the underlying thoughts, feelings and motivations are all that different. They just sound more plausible. (This is based on my observations of and conversations with many years of undergraduates). And the research does clearly tell us that, as a generation, their attitudes to and expectations of sex are very different to back when I was young. That's not so much an issue if you're a 40 year old woman who is up for anything, but it's something that does really affect young women starting out their sex lives.

There is also probably something in the fact that in your early 20s it's pretty standard to jus be single. So you're getting the ones pre big relationships. Often the older ones are single after the failure of a marriage (or marriage like relationship). So there's just more baggage. And, yes, some of them are single for a reason.

I think the arseholes just seem more inclined to message quickly (and indeterminately) on OLD or are more memorable in their crap interaction style. There will also be a higher proportion of cheating arseholes in the older groups because fewer of the younger men have married yet. And the weird ones with no social skills who seem to be looking for a pen pal (because they never go out and stay in playing video games and stroking their... cats - and probably other things) definitely stand out as a higher proportion of the older men you interact with too. They are there in every group but their relative proportion probably increases as their peers (who they only interact with through gaming headsets) pair off and have proper relationships (while they just get weirder).

Of course, there are lovely ones out there (MrSG is 40). As we on this thread all know, there are all sorts of reasons why anyone might end up single at any age.

(I may be drawing upon personal experience about the weirdo pen pals there 😂)

Men in their mid-30s were late teens just as the internet was becoming a commonplace feature of homes. So they'll have grown up with, not the kind if porn there is online today (because imagine trying to load that in dial up), but all the chat to stranger sites that popped up around the turn of the century. Bad sex talk with strangers was probably the primary use of those.

I just think some men are idiots and some aren't. Same applies to women.

What I have found though, I that most men's profiles I've come across in OLD who are below 45 seem to 'want kids someday'. Errrr...no chance. Been there, done that and got two little darlings already thank you very much. I wouldn't want to start a relationship with someone in their 20's or 30's for them to tell me after a while they really want kids of their own. But I am 41 so different for those of us who are a little younger and open to more kids I guess.

The younger men also seem to be more free with compliments like you look great in your pic etc.

@Sunshineandflipflops. Yes so many men in their early 40s no kids and wanting kids 🤷🏼‍♀️ Or kids and want more. Or maybe they put that to attract younger women

@Jane1978xx yes, I think you're probably right there!

@Sunshineandflipflops I'm 41 too and have 2 kids including a 4 year. There are no more bloody kids coming out of this body and MrMechanic has no kids and is happy with this.

@Dancerinthemoonlight and @NoMoreWeepingAndWanking your dates and calls sound great.

@Jane1978xx Iol at the questionnaire!

well I'm back to swiping and lowered the age bracket but feel a bit naughty! I txt my iron yesterday to say I thought he needed more space, got no reply. feeling much better not hanging around. just wish someone would chat to me that didnt want to tell me how horny they are!

I did do the questionnaire as I am interested In the next stage of the process. He never replied so I am assuming I failed 😂😂

Sounds like an excellent date @dancerinthemoonlight

Ended up seeing Mr Tuesday last night and overnight We decided we'd be better off as 'if we are single then maybe...'. I also gave him some tips on improving his Bumble profile and took some new photos for him. Profile didn't do him justice before but now it's great. Almost makes me want him back. I have deleted him from WhatsApp but not his contact details.

@Saltysally I'm a bit confused - are you both not single now?

We are both single @Sunshineandflipflops

@crazycatlady20. It’s amazing the amount of men you ask what they are up to today and they are lying in their pants or naked 🤷🏼‍♀️ When actually they are probably in work 😂

@Savoretti lovely little check in. Good to see you!

@NoMoreWeepingAndWanking what a fantastic update! I hope you're not disappointed on Sunday.

So all going well with MrM, he's so lovely and is ticking a lot of my boxes. He's really been through with his health but has come through the other side! I really know how to pick 'em lol! We have loads in common and conversation flows - we text a lot during the day which is really nice. We shared a very fruity conversation last night which had me going 😳😳.

Some lovely updates on the thread which are really nice to read

Great updates people, hope everyone has good weekends planned!!

@KermitRulesOK It sounds like you've picked pretty well this time.

I'm having a wobble this afternoon. I suddenly am worried I'm wrong to pursue a relationship with anyone when I still have issues to work through. The more I get to know Mr G, the more I recognise all the shitty things my ex did to me, and the compare/contrast is really stark and really upsetting. Tiny little barbs he stuck into me, all the time, hitting me in my weakest points. Mr G does no such thing, apart from paying close attention to what I say, but then he does nice, thoughtful things instead. My heart hurts for all those years spent with someone so awful, and now I see what I could have had instead? What would my life be now if I'd made different choices? I know that is unanswerable, I'm just sad about all those years wasted on someone who didn't deserve me.

Learning to trust someone who appears to possibly deserve my trust is really scary. And he sees that in me, and wants me anyway, broken parts and all. I just wish I wasn't broken at all.