Dating thread 172: from developing a rhino hind to finding love in the unusual places...the rollercoaster of dating!

[CodLiverOil556]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item. 😘

@KeepCalmCarryOhFuckIt it's nice to know I'm not the only one. I love being with him, we have had a couple of small arguments which we have resolved, I smile like a Cheshire cat when I get a text and love it when he calls. If I were 20 years younger I'm sure we'd be practically living together now but I have never spent more than 24 hours with him so don't k ow if it's just limerance that will fade one day if we find we're incompatible or if it will turn to something more long term. The key thing is to enjoy it and try not to overthink it.

The key thing is to enjoy it and try not to overthink it.

This needs to be my mantra!!

The L-bomb was dropped absurdly early with MrSG. I'm not sure how early, but fewer than 6 weeks from matching on tinder. I said it, but that's a technicality really. He'd been dancing around it and had just said that he'd come to my office and write 'MrSG lives WooMaWang' on my whiteboard. So I told him that was fine because I do love him.

(I am aware that the whiteboard sentence is hilarious with those names in it. It was hilarious in a different way when I wrote it here prenamechange too).

I think we all do the overthinking thing. In my case, it's a legacy of a decade walking on eggshells. In MrSG's it seems to be a legacy of exes who undermined his self-confidence and the most recent one cheating on him. Generally we both just try to be kind and understanding with each other.

I'm not sure I could even vaguely countenance a man in his early 20s. I've got a 19 year old son and I spend my days teaching undergrads. So the whole idea fills me with horror. But if it works for anyone else then that's great.

Also I'm loving that Mr and MrsC (aka @JeSuisPrest) are now sending joint presents. You really deserve to be happy, especially after all the previous heartbreak.

@StealthNinjaMum let's call him Mr Northern. He's from a city in the North, seems really pleasent whilst we have been talking and has a kid.
Saying that, we've gone from chatting all week non stop to absolutely nothing yesterday so I'm wondering if he's having second thoughts.

My friend is on a mission to show me not all men are like stbxh and has got me to sign up to tinder. I'm not sure about it all tbh.

Very jealous about the quick divorces. Currently 6 months in and the end is nowhere near in sight!

Lovely update @JeSuisPrest I feel I may need to buy a hat soon. 👰 🤵🏻

I wouldn't worry too much about not texting one day, unless there's something else @CheesecakeAddict has it only been a week did you say? Have you met up yet?

On the younger man part. I had always dated older men. But I've found quite a few younger men are more fun and less stressful tbh. I will Def be moving my limit to include late 20's now.

I like the idea of just remembering to enjoy the moment and stop either overthinking it or daydreaming.

Also, my exh has an affair with someone in her late 20's (he was 40) and I am still embarrassed for me and for him so I couldn't go there if I wanted to!

The affair is one thing. But I wouldn't be embarrassed by dating someone in their late 20's

I'm early 30s so hopefully not too creepy! Lower limit I set to 25. At 25 I was married so feel that age is acceptable...
Got my date tonight with the 25 year old. He seems super keen. I'll name him Mr SH. Will do a loo update!

That's a different perspective; I was married with DC in my late 20s, so I'm probably being judgemental about age and maturity. It really depends on life experience I guess.

At any rate, Mr G is 8 years older than me and it makes zero difference to our compatibility or his energy levels.

Good luck @Peanutbuttermouth! Loo update definitely mandatory!

Good luck @Peanutbuttermouth

I do think each individual is different @MoreNiceCereal I know plenty of guys in their late 20's some are ridiculously immature and others are the most sensible I have ever met.

@lifegoes yes only a week and not met up. We were supposed to be meeting this Saturday but he was going to come back to me if he got childcare. Then the convo went dead after that 🤷‍♀️. Meanwhile I have swapped numbers with another iron - Mr Bodybuilder. Definitely not my usual type but hey, since my usual type thinks it is OK to hit their wife, maybe it is time to look outside the box.

I teach 18 year olds so I wouldn't be able to go early 20s.ive set my tinder at min 2 years under my age but 10 years above.

Good luck tonight Peanut

shitwith another over thinker here. It's hard to 'train' yourself out of it but Mr BC is gradually restoring my faith in men. I've just restarted a hobby (what a mumsnet-ism that is lol - it's a musical one. I'm not sporty) but no way is going to stop me seeing Mr BC. It's just another facet of me which I've neglected for too long. I'm shoe-horning work, my adult DC, daily workouts, hobby and Mr BC into my full life!!

JeSuis I don't do hats but echo a previous poster's comment.

I'm all packed and ready for tomorrow - so excited!

Ah, have a lovely time @BatshitCrazyWoman!

I am 41 so late 30's would just be way to young for me. My lower age limit was 37, I dated a 37 yr old for a few weeks but he didn't have any kids and struggled to understand the commitments I had because I do. He also didn't have his own place or car so wasn't really doing it for me!
I guess I just think if my 41 yr old husband went after a 28 yr old then what must 28 yr old men find attractive...

That's should have said late 20's, not 30's!

Good luck @Peanutbuttermouth! Is this the first meet?

@batshitcrazywoman have a wonderful time!

Oh I see @CheesecakeAddict well I would keep swiping no doubt he will come back and you'll be "who are you again" always good to not stray away from your normal type.

That's the great thing about this page, everyone has completely different opinions and nobody looks down their nose at others for doing something they wouldn't.

I'm early 40's and as I said previously would never go with younger men. Until recently I've realised a few are great to have fun with and some have been more mature than men I've actually had LTR with. It just depends on what you are looking for.

It seems I have my age range set for 7 years younger and 5 years older!! There's something about over 50 that seems old. Even though I'm heading that way myself 😂

Although I've realised of my last 4 irons one was 4 years older and the current one is 4 years younger. They both felt the same age as me.

On flings I had a brief one with someone 16 years younger although he did add a few years on his age when he chatted me up!!

You're all making me feel like a dirty old lech 😂 21/22 is my lower limit, because tbh I've not noticed that much difference in maturity between guys of that age and guys in their 30s. In fact some guys in their 30s I've found to be immature in different ways- kind of needy and clingy. Or over sensitive. And sometimes arrogant too. Definitely not as much fun.

Peanut have a fabulous time!

Watch it, NotCool - I'm over 50 😂

Mr BC is younger, he feels the same age as me tbh but then it's only 7 years ...

Mr Tuesday lied today. He said he hadn't been on Bumble but his location changed. Annoying thing is that I don't even care he's on there, don't care at all. Haven't decided what to do.

I'm not far behind you @BatshitCrazyWoman so I'm being totally ridiculous!

@shitwithsugaron I think I’m similar to you, I always think the worst and go into a bit of a panic fairly quickly.

The L word thing is weird, I find it hard to tell the difference between the two L’s, love and lust. I think you can love someone early on, but I don’t think you’re acrually in love with someone early on.

We got back to the UK this morning, got straight in the car for our weekend away with my ‘mum’. Japan was fab, MiniSJT went to bed at 6:30, despite being in his favourite place. He’ll probably be awake at a stupid hour tomorrow.

I haven’t been with anyone with a significant age gap, MrNN is four years younger, ex was the same age (well, three days younger!), and BF is two years younger. I really don’t think it makes a great deal of difference, we’re all just pretending to be ‘proper’ adults when really we have no idea what we’re doing.

@InTheTempest I absolutely agree with you. I would never go for anyone in their 20's before. My word, the ones I've met so much mature than the the few I've had who have been in their 30's or older than me.