Dating thread 172: from developing a rhino hind to finding love in the unusual places...the rollercoaster of dating!

[CodLiverOil556]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item. 😘

stealthninja actually I'm capitalising on his guilt currently I think. He fucking owes me. I sacrificed bloody EVERYTHING for that man. He keeps telling me how he put a whole load of money into the relationship and is walking away with nothing, in a "I'm trying to do the right thing" way. Im biting ny tongue instead of retorting "well i pit all my energy and all my love and all my hope onto pur fucking relationship ans look what I'm bloody left with - a broken heart, no confidence and paranoia" ARSEHOLE.

nomoreweeping I too see no point in delaying inevitable. When I split with my ex I found out 3 months after that it was as a result of an affair so pushed forward with divorce and filled 2 months after - on our wedding anniversary 😆 no point waiting and yes I agree that it's worth taking advantage of their guilt whilst its fresh and before the OW starts having a say and trying to keep money back for their benefit 😉

I agree that even a caravan in margate sounds lovely with the right person/people. Anywhere is.

How do you stop yourself @shitwithsugaron as in how do you stop yourself thinking the worst or overthinking?

@Neverexpected good for you for processing so quickly with the divorce. It shows you really mean business!

We haven't even been broken up for 2 months yet.

Id have done it sooner if I'd found out about the affair sooner but that was as quick as I could get it through once I did find out- not that he admitted to the affair - just that he was seeing her - took him 18 months to finally cough to it all - and only then because I had proof 🤦‍♀️

My divorce was done and dusted very quickly - 6 weeks from starting process to getting my absolute.My solicitor said it was the quickest divorce she had ever done!Her advice to forge ahead with it while ex was still feeling guilty was spot on in my case.For me it was completely the right thing to do to get it done asap as I have no doubt his new partner ow would have been sticking her oar in and trying to get more money has she had the chance.

That was very much my feeling coco - she certainly didn't go after him for his looks and sparkling personality 😉

Nope no point waiting nomoreweeping I think I broached the divorce topic 6 weeks after we separated and was met with much surprise as to why we weren't "waiting 2 years like everybody else". Sod that!
Petition for decree absolute is in my diary for 2nd Dec, or 39 more sleeps as I like to think of it

It was a no from him 😭😂 See, my intuition must be right!

The speed of the divorce does depend on how difficult the other party decides to be, though. My divorce took two and half years - he wouldn't agree or compromise on anything, so then you are dependent on court dates. For example, he apparently 'couldn't make' our June court date for the final hearing because of work (he went to Ascot ) . The next available date was 5 months later ....

An actual exciting update for me. I have a date with Mr Surgery tomorrow evening. Now just to decide what to wear.
Mr Westie texted me earlier to see if I wanted to meet for a drink on Friday. Have replied that although I'm free he would have to drive to me as I'm not currently driving at the moment. Waiting for him to ask why when he knew that I was having surgery last Friday but hasn't texted since the middle of last week.
I'm not too good at sitting on the window shopping bench

Good point bats I was lucky mine was compliant!

His loss @tickettocrazytown, though it does suck.

Good luck, @Dancerinthemoonlight! I am not a fashionista by any stretch, but I do enjoy planning what to wear on a date. I was just planning an outfit for dinner on Saturday with Mr G, actually!

Ah bugger @tickettocrazytown well his loss - get back swiping with your head held high. He wasn't right for you

Ooooh love planning my outfits for first dates then I really enjoy getting ready especially if I'm hopping on the train and can have a class or two of wine!

Been on pof a while now maybe it's true I am just too ugly. Had a lot of time wasters and someone wanted me to go round to his house. They ask for my number but I won't give it out due to past bad experiences until I meet someone so I never hear from them again. Is anyone serious on pof to want to date not just mess around ? I won't touch tinder. I have a profile on match but nothing happened on there. I put a profile on badoo and someone said to me oooh you look naughty. I just thought what an idiot. Haven't heard many good reports about eharmony. What else is there other than a single life?

@Buttons4me dont let one bad egg put you off using your phone to communicate. Honestly never had an issue blocking people. That may be a reason folk dont continue it....if you dont want to pass your number over. It may look like you're someone who's cheating? (Sorry). Can I ask why you wouldn't touch tinder? Same people. Less messages from people you're not interested in. Bumble is good

I don't like POF @Buttons4me I much prefer bumble and tinder. And I agree with @supercali77 not giving out your number when they ask. Seems like you gave something to hide are aren't that interested. If you are really unsure try Snapchat

That's really helpful thank you @shitwithsugaron I do just worry I'll end up sabotaging something in the future because of my past experiences. But sticking to the facts is a good way of dealing with it. 😘

I gave my number to someone and he was phoning me and texting me all of the time he was expecting me to answer his calls all of the time then sending me awful messages when I told him I was busy with the kids. They want to add you on what's app and I don't want to be on what's app with anyone until I've met someone and arrange to see them again that might be wrong of me thinking that though? 1 on pof was sending me pics of his chest he wanted other pics of me and to swap numbers I told him no. I believe tinder to be the worst of the lot though for just wanting ons. I'm not in to that I was shocked when the person id been talking to said I could go round to his house - as if I would yet he said he was looking for a relationship. They all just seem like time wasters. I thought match was supposed to be good but haven't had any decent messages. Maybe it's just me I don't know.

If you get a person like that. Just block. If you don't want to talk on WA don't.

Come off POF and go on tinder and bumble.

I personally wouldn't meet anyone unless I had their number.

Also really helpful for me, thank you. I don't know how to create a healthy relationship like a grown-up and whatnot. So far Mr G seems genuine and honest, and his actions match up with his words, so I'll keep hold of that.