Dating thread 172: from developing a rhino hind to finding love in the unusual places...the rollercoaster of dating!

[CodLiverOil556]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item. 😘

@supercali77 No comment 😂🤐

Stealth I can relate to that, I would never have described myself as insecure prior to finding out my ex had cheated, and I really don't like the feeling.
Suppose it was a bit too optimistic to hope I'd come out the other side completely unscathed

I get the insecurity too after being cheated on. I am very careful not to treat Mr Ad like he is my ex though and have to trust him , otherwise it's not relationship at all. If someone's going to cheat, they are going to cheat regardless of what you do or think.

Another one whose confidence has been seriously dented by a cheating spouse. Fuckers.

Just had an email saying they're sending me the decree nisi application. So still a minimum of 3 months before this thing is over. If not longer. I've had some friends comment - kindly - that the divorce seems to be moving very quickly but honestly, is there any point dragging it out? The relationship has broken down irreovacble. He's not the man I thought i knew and I would never be able to trust him again so what would I be waiting for? The sooner i can come to terms with the fact my marriage is over in every way the better, surely.

Not quite the same as cheating but my confidence was dented by an alcoholic, abusive ex and it definitely makes me wary when dating as I keep wondering if they also are a bit of a monster underneath. I think everyone by this age has these sorts of angst but just got to keep at it.

I agree it's not unusual to feel a bit insecure in a relationship. In fact, I think you sometimes feel a bit more insecure when you're realizing more and more that it does matter to you. So it's not even about what the other person is doing; it's that you realize you'd be miserable without them.

And an overactive imagination.

It's definitely worse when you've had crap relationship situations in the past. It's hard not to have that affect things sometimes and to come out in being a bit silly and ridiculous about things.

I guess we just need to be kind and understanding with ourselves and each other.

Throwing yourself into hanging out with the kids sounds a pretty healthy kind of response @StealthNinjaMum. Although mine would just look at me and think: will you get out of my room? I'm trying to play minecraft/watch shite in YouTube here. 😂

Oh @shitwithsugaron, that is brilliant. A weekend for you and a family-type holiday is great.

Hey all.
My first date on Saturday. I married my secondary school boyfriend so this is my first date ever. Holy fuck I'm not even legally divorced yet. What have I done?!

Thanks for the support everyone. I'm glad I can talk to you rather than Mr R who has had heartbreak too but seems so laid back and doesn't seem to have the anxieties I do.

@NoMoreWeepingAndWanking I agree the relationship has broken down and even if he changed his mind he isn't the man you thought he was. No point wasting time - just make sure that you get the financial settlement / time with children that you want and don't make any hasty compromises to get the closure you want.

@WooMaWang my children would much rather be playing on the iPad in their disgusting bedrooms but now we have cupcakes so they can see some benefits in spending time with me.

@cheesecakeaddict Welcome. Read the rules and try to enjoy it. Do you want to tell us a bit about your iron? I hope he's nice. I had my first date this year and he was lovely but there was no spark so it was a relatively good first experience.

That's great shitwith I'm off with Mr BC to a beautiful Italian city at the end of this week - so excited. Can highly recommend dirty weekends!

@CheesecakeAddict. I was with ex h since the 90s 😂. I’ve never been on a date. I’m getting the wtf feeling just speaking to people. Hope your date goes well

me and MR Ad are also off for the weekend next weekend! It's not abroad, sadly but really looking forward to it

Mr Tuesday and I seem to be spending Saturday night in a hotel. 🙈🙉🙊

Oooooh @shitwithsugaron that sounds ace! What I wouldn't give for a dirty weekend away!

Oooh salty that sounds good. Glad things are looking up/going well for a few of us on the thread. To be honest I'd be happy in a caravan in Margate if I was with Mr BC #lovedup 😍😂

Great update shit
And welcome cheesecake hope your days goes well!

Date!

@BatshitCrazyWoman caravan in margate - it must be love hehe

If the caravans a rocking...

Oh @shitwithsugaron I'm excited for you. Nothing better than a dirty weekend. 😉
The only dirt I get now is from cleaning my cooker.

It's really nice hearing how so many others get to the stage of overthinking. I was always the person who trusted someone until they broke my trust. But this year it's proven to maybe trust my gut and not the man. And I'm quite worried how that will impact me moving forward. (Knowing what is my gut or just paranoia from previous betrayal). I also read so many stories on here and MN in general it's quite hard to not second guess them.

Although I do agree with the stance of "if they are going to cheat, they will" but I don't want that to happen early on in a relationship

Or at any time I should state!

Mr G and I have arranged overnights this weekend and next weekend - his excitement to spend time with me is so adorable, I'm almost making myself sick. He's so into me, it's a wonderful feeling.