Dating thread 172: from developing a rhino hind to finding love in the unusual places...the rollercoaster of dating!

[CodLiverOil556]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item. 😘

@Sunshineandflipflops was hoping you were going to say that! I just know with MrMechanic he's being completely up front and he sent me a beautiful voice message last night and I realised I love his accent! I thought MrTall was romantic but MrMechanic blows him out of the water! Am excited to see where this goes and we've deleted all apps and are going to see where this leads. 2 months ago I thought I'd never date again but here we are about to embark on a journey and so far no flags of any description (I ignored one with MrT I now realise)

Ah Kermit. You give me hope and I have been feeling so hopeless.
I sent stbx a pic of the kids last night a d so nearly used it as a spring board to start a chat. I miss his company. I miss being pay of a team, however much i was pulling the heavier load in that team.

@kermit, it's lovely reading your updates, I'm living in hope 😊

So I'm more chilled about the apps thing, nor over thinking of timing and frequency of messages (trying not to!), but wondered if and when I should initiate a chat about a second date? Or would that make me look desperate? 😂

The thing with me is that I'm really straight forward, if I like someone, I tell them, I wear my heart on my sleeve so to speak. I know not everyone does though, or will be a lot more subtle that me!

So turns out one of the men I’ve been speaking with is on holiday in the same resort as me over half term 😳. We said we might meet for a drink over there (haven’t met him yet). How odd is that 😂.

Fantastic news @KermitRulesOK

Morning after the night before. Am going to see Mr Tuesday again. He has too many good things about him not to. 😊

Good news @saltysally

@tickettocrazytown yep, I'm the same and it looks like MrM is too. I met him on tinder but almost unmatched him because he hadn't messaged me after 3/4 days but last Sunday I messaged and he replied straightaway - turns out he's quite shy and doesn't like the rejection of an unanswered message! So all of you that don't think you should initiate first contact - you don't know how the other person thinks so always take the chance I reckon

Exciting times, @saltysally!

@tickettocrazytown its stressful isn’t it? I could see Mr R was on the apps even after we’d had sex (which admittedly was early) and I was really trying to be cool about it but instead I got drunk and demanded to be exclusive and he agreed. Maybe he’s checking the apps to see if you’re still on? All you can do is be cool and focus on other things (see comment below!)

@kermitrulesok that’s a lovely update. I hope it works out for you this time.

@nomoreweepingandwanking just keep coming on here and talking to us. We all understand how hard it is for you but you’ll just feed his massive ego if you try to be friends again. Remember he isn't your friend.

This is stupid I am feeling insecure about Mr R again I think it’s just because dc are on holiday and we haven’t got any dates/ meetings lined up. I think I am going to spend the morning baking with dc to take my mind off it but I shouldn’t feel like this after 5 months.

@tickettocrazytown oh I do get that also. It can send you mad (or feels it) I've seen people unmatch on dating apps once they have swapped numbers etc. Which is helpful. So when I get back on OLD I'm going to do that.

@KermitRulesOK that's a great update. I have learnt that, often we put our "ego's" ahead of just taking a chance. So pleased you asked

@saltysally well this sounds exciting and promising.

Some lovely updates! How long have you known Mr Mechanic @KermitRulesOK? Mr Ad admitted the morning after our first date that he'd come off the apps already! I hadn't but also hadn't been looking since talking to him so I came off them too.
As most of you know, I discovered Mr SAS was still on them weeks into us being/sleeping together. I had never officially asked him so he didn't lie but he had said he wasn't sleeping with anyone else so I guess I took that to mean he was off the apps...silly me!

@Sunshineandflipflops just short of 2 weeks, we've had our first date too.

@KermitRulesOk Ah...fingers crossed it continues to go well!

@kermit, it was Bumble so I had to make the first move, but I think with it being early days, I'm very aware he'll probably still be arranging dates with other people and I sort of want him to get to know me better first 😂

@stealth, I'm so trying to be cool and keep my mind off it. I feel like I've made it obvious that I'm really interested, I just like to know early on if I'm wasting my time, even though he hasn't really done anything to make me think otherwise.. Yet!

@lifgoes, it does drive me potty! I just want to send message laying it all out... I like you, I want to see you again, is the feeling mutual blah blah blah, but I get conflicting advice from my RL friends 😂

@sunshine, I wish everyone was as straightforward as Mr Ad, or interested in me😂 So far, I seem to have met Mr SAS alikes and Mr unavailables.

@tickettocrazytown he's not perfect and has some pretty big issues but so far he's been nothing but lovely and honest with me and that's all I can ask for right now. I guess you come to realise which things are important to you and which things are deal breakers and that's different for everyone but respect and fidelity are high up there for me after my marriage ended due to lack of both of those things.

@sunshine, I hear you... My marriage ended under similar circumstances. Maybe that's why honesty from the very beginning is so important to me, but I think that scares some guys! All I want to do right now is ask where he's at with things and hope for an honest answer, but past experience has been that I'd get a message saying one thing, but meaning another! 😒

Oh I get that, I hate the grey areas. When you aren't sure if they like you, do they think the same, do they want to meet up again, is it genuine etc. @tickettocrazytown and there's so much conflicting advice, a lot of my RL friends are married or in relationships so don't really get how hard OLD is. But one thing I've learnt is that I'm just going to be straight forward when I get back on it. Life is too short and what's the worse that can happen. They don't like me. Oh well at least I know 😂

Thank you, everyone. I have that lovely fuzzy endorphin buzz.

Right that's it decided, I'm going to message him and see if he's interested in seeing me again 😊

That's lovely, I want endorphins @saltysally 😍

Go for it @tickettocrazytown

Stealth I don't think that's unusual to still have those moments of insecurity during periods of absence when you start overthinking and questioning things. Miss H and I will have been together 5 months at the end of this month (minus the few weeks break in the middle) and I certainly still do it.
I do the same, well not baking, but I try and keep myself busy/distracted.

@saltysally Good 'things' eh? hahah ;)

Thanks @ant330 I was being ridiculous. My children are very indulged because when I feel like this they get my undivided attention! I was so confident and secure with all my previous relationships, I wonder if I will ever be like that again.

@tickettocrazytown I agree with @lifegoes. If you like someone then ask him out again. If he says no or ignores it then at least you know and can move on to the next mentally. You're still at the early stage of getting to know him and don't know his life that well. It could be that he's multi dating or it could be that he's got 6 hours of meetings at work and a problem with his mother / children/ dog / half-term arrangements etc and you're not at the top of his mind.