Dating thread 172: from developing a rhino hind to finding love in the unusual places...the rollercoaster of dating!

[CodLiverOil556]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

**

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item. 😘

This old isn’t going well for me 😂. I now have 4 pen pals.

@Jane1978xx have you asked any of them if they fancy meeting for a coffee/drink/whatever?

I usually wait until I am asked but Mr Ad was very nervous and I wanted to meet him so I asked him. He was pleased I did, although said he was 'building up to it'!

Sunshine I think doing it that way may work if you are amicable. However, it can quickly become a lot less amicable when finances are involved. In your situation I would book an appointment with a family lawyer to just check what a court might award you.

@Jane1978xx high five to 1978! I asked MrMechanic on a date as I knew I had a kid free weekend coming up and didn't want to waste anytime but he was going to ask me out but I beat him to it

I don't have an issue with asking or being asked, I like to arrange it quickly. I think one benefit of OLD is that it's obvious there is a mutual attraction to begin with anyway, so less nerves.

Though I was a gibbering mess when one iron walked through the door and he was MUCH more attractive than his pictures made out. Holy smokes. He was an arsehole too, unfortunately.

Yes I mentioned in and they’ve all agreed it’s just finding time with kids and work etc 🤷🏼‍♀️.,

Actually they all mentioned meeting up first but it’s all a bit vaugue 😂😂.

Has anyone ever had an iron who actually liked them be very quiet before the first meet?

I'm in theory meeting Mr Tuesday later and think it will go ahead. He's noticeably quieter than my usual irons.. May not be a bad thing. Its just unusual.

I've had a one who once we arranged the date. We didn't speak much at all. Put me off a bit as I wanted to chat more before I actually met @saltysally

Well one I arranged to meet and then it feel thru we don’t speak as much now. I think it’s like you want to save it up for meeting.

Hmm interesting. Maybe it's just personality. He lives on my way home so not going out of my way anyhow ha

Hello!
So I have been furiously swiping & messaging- it’s quite full on , isn’t it?
I am meeting someone tomorrow for coffee in the morning , Mr coffee (?) and I have been talking a stupid amount to someone who lives far too far away from me, but is totally in my wavelength and sends song recommendations to me (Mr Music..?) totally impractical distance wise, and he’s 8 yrs older than me, which is a bigger age gap than I have ever had. His son goes to uni near me & he’s arranging to see him the weekend after this one & for us to go for a drink .
No way I could sustain seeing anyone that far away, but can’t resist meeting him.
Anyways, can someone talk first date guidelines for Mr coffee tomorrow . How long do these tend to last? Do you shake hands? Do you make contact after...how long after?
I am a 46 year old wreck!!

Ps saltysally Mr Coffee has been quite quiet...Mr Music v v chatty.
Hope it goes well!

Freaky. He literally just sent me a message saying he's really looking forward to see me.

Aagh just saw a colleague from work on Bumble. He's 52 and has never had a girlfriend in any form... If I saw his profile he must have seen mine. No wonder he was chatty to me yesterday.

@Undecidedsofa coffee is about an hour or so? Depends on how well you get on, how much time you have to spare, etc.

I'm a bit of a hugger, so that's usually how I greet people.

I usually message afterwards with a quick nice to have met you message, and see how he responds. As much as I don't care who asks for the first date, I do prefer to be asked for the second date.

Hahaaa @saltysally! Awks.

Need a stern talking to why i should absolutely not msg Mr sexy Copper to make myself feel better...

@undecidedsofa I go for the kiss on the cheek and meet for a drink or two. If you both want to stay longer then okay but I like short first dates to rule out anyone that you just don't have chemistry with, with no potential to develop.

Kiss on the cheek is much easier when you haven't been sexting first 😂

So awkward @morenicecereal.

Sexting before meeting 😳 maybe this is where I am going wrong 😂😂. There are so many questions I’m even unsure if coffee means coffee or ‘coffee’ like the old fashioned come in for ‘coffee’ 🤦‍♀️

I am a mature student at a local university; have matched with about five men who work there.

Oh @Jane1978xx, sexting before meeting is definitely on my "no" list. Potential for embarrassment is waaaay too high!

😂 seeing a colleague must be funny. Or a neighbour. I work from home most of the Time but note to self don’t turn on Pof in work 😂. I’ve seen quite a few of ex h mates on there.

I wouldn’t know how to do sexting 😂🤷🏼‍♀️. I’m not even sure how to do the actual sex it’s been that long 😂😂😂😂

I decided to go back on apps - I'm not sure I'll find what I'm looking for but if I dont try I definitely wont. I've developed a thick skin so may as well give it a go again.

Matched with MrPoliceman yesterday and hes asked me out next week so that's one of my childfree nights next week filled 😉😁

I'm chatting with another 2 as well but I'm a nightmare for letting others tail off once I'm more interested in one which I know I shouldn't because it's a numbers game and I havent even met any of them yet 🤷‍♀️ something I need to work on 🤦‍♀️

I don't sext before meeting anymore. Learnt from that one!

Hello waves....I'm a regular on Relationships and have posted over the past year after I split from cheating ex. This is my first time posting about dating in this thread, eek!!

So it has literally been a year since the split and I've actually had a brilliant year rebuilding my life, engaging with my hobbies and having a great social life. I consciously decided not to get out there and date as I wanted to lick my wounds for a bit and reevaluate what I would want from any future relationships. I've made the mistake before of splitting from an ex and rushing into another relationship. Never again, said I.

So there I have been, bimbling away in life and have had the odd pang of wondering what OLD would be like, but came to the conclusion it probably wasn't for me at all. I decided that I'd leave it for a few years until my DD goes to Uni (in 2021) and if I hadn't met anyone by then in a natural capacity, then I'd probably try OLD.

A good friend of mine met someone recently and has been banging on that it should be time for me to start dating. I've knocked her back saying no, not ready etc.

Then this Saturday happened. A few of us were out for the day and my good friend and her new BF were with me. Her BF was arranging to meet with his brother and the brother's friend. To cut a long story short at the end of the day we all ended up in a pub together before our train and I was chatting away with the brother and the brother's friend...lets call him MrDoctor. We all had a laugh and then it was time to go. I thought MrDoctor was great to talk to and felt a bit of a sad that I probably wouldn't see him again and that he was also probably attached. Through the network of the friends MrDoctor and I have now swapped numbers as apparently he was very captivated by me. As it was mutual, we have been chatting for the past few days and get on really well. There has been no suggestion of a meet up yet. He lives a few hours away from me, but totally doable if it progresses.

So that's it for now. Not actually dating yet, but just chatting. I'm thinking if nothing progresses to a possible relationship, then he would probably make a great friend. I feel a bit giddy about him. We are both similar in age (late 40s) and I've gained some background info on him via the friend network. I'll probably be posting a bit more, I hope .