Dating thread 172: from developing a rhino hind to finding love in the unusual places...the rollercoaster of dating!

[CodLiverOil556]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item. 😘

Because he's probably not single @VivaVegas or not the man in the photos.

Catfishing, I think it's called?

@VivaVegas ego boost? beautiful woman writing to them!

Well. Mr beegees and his gf. What to say about it. I didnt send the pics. I just said. Listen hes doing this, its concerning me, I know you 2 are still together. Can you tell gim he needs to stop or I will have to take action. But she turned on me. Why was I so upset (at being tracked across social media and called a low life and psycho bitch). Did I want it all made public? (Turns out she knew I'd sent illicit photos too. Threatening exposure. Yes its illegal). So I've stopped all comms. Taken screenshots and I'm going to file it all with the police

Just disgusting @supercali77 unfortunately some women who take their men back after such things. Turn on the "OW" for whatever reason I don't know.

He'll have her ear on this now, fed her lies etc. But def right to let the police know. They can contact him if you wish on your behalf or just keep it on file.

@supercali77 that’s horrendous, what the actual fuck?!

And that's why I've asked with each of them to meet up sooner rather than later, I don't want to waste time talking to someone who'll never want to meet up or is married or in a relationship.
You'd think if they were married they'd be wary of someone seeing their photos on there though wouldn't you?
Its a bl**dy minefield.
My friend who met her husband online said they just chatted for 6 months before they met so I guess sometimes it is genuine.
I'm very wary though which is a good thing.

Bloody hell super

Awful, @supercali77. Hope you are ok.

Yes. I wasnt that arsed to begin with. Just figured....ahhh, shes decided to hear no evil. But then she turned quite nasty, threatening. I said nothing malicious at all. There was no point carrying on, it just felt like I was being judged rather than him. And unfortunately it snuck under my skin a bit

Either way I cant let the threat go. I dont know either of these people well enough to assume they wouldn't be that stupid. Have learnt my lesson on pics. Never ever over whatsapp

Am sure. She's so naive. He won't stop at this. He got away with it completely didn't he?

@saltysally yeah hes walked away mostly unscathed. She used the words 'male pride' when excusing his harassment. Wrong audience here love

Well done supercali for handling it like a boss.as for that pair and their behaviour...ridiculous!

So... sexy Mr Copper now gone v quiet. Although I'd very much like to get cinversaion going again I am not desperae and i have dignity and self respect so am leaving him hanging and hell either get back in touch or he wont. His loss. Shame though. Not found any other live ones on the apps.

In other news... went for dinner with the girls tonight andine asked if she coukd bring along a chap in the middle if a nasty divorce. Since 50% of us are also in the same situation we welcomed him in and it was a fun evening. I flirted a little just because but I don't necessarily want it to go anywhere. I just like flirting.

Anywa. He's high ranking in a branch of the forces (there's a base locally) and offered to invite us all to the summer ball next year.
Yes please.
He alsi gave feedback on my Bumble profile. Which would have been helpful except it was a thumbs up so... i guess I'm doing it right.

@NoMoreWeepingAndWanking stuff MrCopper - ignore him and he'll be back! As an ex-soldier if you need any pointers about squaddies and summer balls, please ask spent the last 23 years caught up in all of that!

Well, MrMechanic is getting better the more I get to know him, the way he texts and the words he uses match my texting technique and it's nice to see. We've progressed to 2 kisses on the ends of texts lol! What's everyone's opinion about the old xx on texts? I never send any kisses to anyone unless I deem them worthy not even my friends and family

Wow. Just wow. I hope @SBD1 is ok because that was all really nasty and unnecessary. Calling her a liar. Lurkers popping up to put the boot in. I have no idea what she did to provoke such bile. And for someone who sounds like she's suffered a lot in life that will really really help.

I'm not sure whether to continue on here. I might wait til I'm dating again and less vulnerable. I'm not sure I want to share anything on here after that

Lots to catch up on.

I can empathise with @sbd1 it is exciting when you're in that infatuation / limerence stage especially if you've never felt like that before. @sbd1 you sound like a fantastic mother, the only thing I would say is that in my (limited) experience children can be much more intellectually mature than emotionally. So my eldest child can read classic books and get the plot and understand long words but miss out on subtexts around emotions. We discussed mummy getting a new boyfriend many months ago - before I met Mr R - because if my children had said they never want me to get a boyfriend I would have held off on old for a while. However both said they wanted me to be happy. I realise that having said that I still needed to be careful how I introduced Mr R as they wouldn't necessarily understand the implications of what they'd said. Now they have met mummy's 'friend' and things are so far ok but they've still had some big upheavals this year so we'll continue to go slowly.

@KermitRulesOK I never kiss anyone in a message even friends and family and don't think I sent them to Mr R until after we were exclusive but I did send the odd aubergine. I think as long as you two are doing the same thing it's fine.

I don't think some of the personal comments were necessary either @Peanuthedz. We all have different ways of doing things that others will disagree with. No-ones way is 'right' for everyone else and if other people's posts upset someone else that much then just ignore them and comment on the other posts. I do it regularly.

@KermitRulesOK I always put a 'x' on the end of messages...possibly sometimes when I shouldn't but I think they sometimes seem a bit abrupt without one!

Not been on here for ages. Sounds like there are some positive dates as well as a bit of sadness....
to you all.

I am still with Mr Tri. We had a lovely time in Portugal where he did the half IronMan and I didn’t.... I got a good holiday out of it though so don’t regret signing up for it.

I have 3 youngish children and an awful controlling ex. Mr Tri has none and is so incredibly patient with me and the stress I go through with ex. Each time there is another drama I think he will run but he doesn’t, he is always there to support me - he’s amazing. So whilst I would never have chosen someone without children, it definitely can work. And in one way it is obviously easier as we only have my schedule to work round rather than two schedules to try and fit together.

Exactly that @Sunshineandflipflops

I'm quite shaken by it. God knows how @SBD1 is feeling.

Anyway. Line drawn. Now aware that the thread is not necessarily a safe place to share.

Lovely news@Savoretti

Glad things are going well with MrTri @Savoretti.

@supercali77 That's really quite scary. She sounds likes a nasty piece of work, so I guess she's more than welcome to him. I'm sure they can make each other bloody miserable for years. You're doing the right thing letting the police know about it all.

@KermitRulesOK My rule used to be that I'd put kisses on messages to people who put kisses on theirs. Well one kiss. MrSG gets 3 (which was initially an autocorrect error, but seems to have stuck). It turns out that meaningless xs in text matter to him though and he (while a bit drunk once) only to put kisses on messages to him. Generally I am a bloody minded nightmare who refuses to be told what to do (especially after a controlling ex) but that seemed a fairly harmless request really. I did tell him it was very silly to even give it any thought. He's the only person I actually kiss (well, other than kissing DS2 on the head at bedtime etc), and those are the kisses that count. Sometimes MrSG much more sentimental than I expect.

@Peanuthedz Don't be put off posting here. I agree that some of the recent responses to @SBD1 haven't really been supportive. But, I think, for the most part people have been motivated to try to support someone who may be a bit blinkered by that first flush of love. I think we've all been there and sometimes it goes horribly wrong and we kind of wish someone had (tried to) steer us to safer waters at the start.

I have loads to do today at work and a kitchen full of boxes of stuff from MrSG's house that needs to be unpacked at some point. We're trying to decide what kitchen stuff to keep and what to get rid off. No one needs as many pans or forks as are currently in my kitchen. 😂

Such a lovely post @Savoretti love hearing such good news.

I'm sorry if I have upset you @Peanuthedz I would never ever accuse someone of lying unless I had 100% facts. And those I have, I just felt it was awful so many were trying to help when lies had been told. So I do apologise if that upset you. The last thing I wanted to do was make you feel like you couldn't post. I've always tried to be supportive to everyone on the thread where I can.

RE the safety of the thread. The topics were very difficult. Rape, A child in the care of someone who raped you, choices around that same child and a new romantic connection, inconsistencies. It was always going to push buttons on a thread 90%+ of women. Posters were concerned for either SBD, her child, or both but you can't expect to talk about that stuff and not bring up a whole lot of questions and feelings.