Dating thread 172: from developing a rhino hind to finding love in the unusual places...the rollercoaster of dating!

[CodLiverOil556]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item. 😘

@lifegoes thank you, you’re helping me so much. I haven’t responded to his last message complaining about work...I won’t now, as you say, if he wants me he knows where to find me. Thanks for listening to me moan on! I have been back on baggage reclaim and reading advice on what to do if you get overinvested easily...I think I’m the type who is so keen for a relationship I’ll happily sign up to anyone, no matter how patently uninterested or unsuitable they are. I need to work on that!

No need to thank me and keep talking on here, I'm more than happy to help if I can. I know what anxiety can do to you. But I've learnt to try and control it (slightly) so if I can help you. I will @FMFL

It's easy to say sitting here typing, but please believe me, you need someone who doesn't leave you in doubt. Doesn't make you question yourself. If he wants you, let him work for it now. Because you are strong and will not let some guy destroy your mental health.

That's a great site and there's some great videos with that Derrick Jaxn on YouTube. I play them in the background if I'm pottering around the house.

@FMFL Delete delete delete. I've just deleted someone. What a relief. Ya know if they get in touch, consider it groun zero all over again

Agree on the Derrick Jaxn tip too ^^

You guys, honestly you’re amazing; thank you. I’ll delete again now.

I have just been through my phone and deleted a lot of WhatsApp messages and numbers of old irons. Mr Surgery did get in contact on Thursday night to say that he hadn't forgotten about me or my surgery but he has a lot going on. Don't want to air his laundry here but I know the amount of stuff he has going on. He is on the back burner for now with the thoughts of if I meet him then great but if I don't then I wasn't meant to. Apart from him not one of my irons messaged me to wish me luck or see how it went so their numbers and message threads have all been deleted. If they want to get in contact then they have my number.

SBD1 - I too have been lurking the last few threads but was an active participant in older ones. I have to agree with lifegoes - no one wants to rain on anyone's parade - and I know how easy it is to get caught up in the first flush of attention- I think the message is just be careful - it is very easy to misinterpret words on a site like this and perhaps that's the issue here - it would be a shame if you left this very supportive thread if it's not what you want to do.

Yay to @Dancerinthemoonlight and @FMFL taking control and using the delete function. Best thing to do.

@KeepCalmCarryOhFuckIt yes my iron likes me more. Sometimes I think he's great and I could make it work. Then I remember his living situation and think actually I want more from a life partner. I deal with it by being brutally honest with him so I feel he knows the score. I do wonder about calling it off but being with him makes me happy. And I'm having great sex too!

Right well I’ve heard nothing from Mr Sash, so I’ve booked myself into a gym session this evening instead. I’ll pretend the weights are his head

Hahaha love this @FMFL good plan

@FMFL Yas!

Can I ask that any other lurkers message sbd direct? I'm uncomfortable with both sides of the conversation and can't see how continuing the conversation is going to help anyone

Have a great time at the gym @FMFL

Have fun @fmfl. Bet you get a pb or two tonight.

I've decided to throw caution to the wind and just go for it with Mr G. Long distance pfft. I laugh in the face of danger etc etc.

Not wanting to take over this thread, I started a new one asking for ideas on how to make it work....

Ohhh I want to know more @MoreNiceCereal

He ticks every box, the more I get to know him the more I want to get to know him, the more I like him. He's straightforward, he's sweet, he's thoughtful. Off the charts chemistry.

I can't just walk away from all that because of distance. Maybe I should be more practical but I don't wanna.

Go for it @MoreNiceCereal I'll keep an eye on your other thread and see if I can find some information for you

Aw, thanks @lifegoes.

I came on here a month or so ago as I considered braving dating after having been on my own for over a year after the demise of my 18 year marriage.

As this is all new to me I’d appreciate some advise from those more experienced in this than me!

I matched with a guy straight away met him for a quick drink a few days later, didn’t fancy him but he asked me for another drink and I was honest and said I didn’t think there was anything romantically there for me but was happy to meet up again. We did, there was still nothing for me, I was honest and we parted company wishing each other well so a good start.

I matched with another guy last weekend we’ve been chatting since and are going out on Friday. On paper (if he’s being honest, I’m such a cynic!) we have a lot in common and he looks nice enough in his photos. I’m not overly optimistic I will fancy him but know I’ve got to get out there and meet people so all good.

This is the weird one, had another match last week and he messaged me, he’s very funny, quite flirty but not rude of sexting. Asked to move to WhatsApp after a couple of days which I did and we’ve been messaging since. I had one free night last week so suggested a quick drink, he said he was playing football so couldn’t make it but didn’t offer up any other days to meet.
He continues to message me a few times a day, when he does I feel a bit giddy (is that weird?) and his messages make me smile, he has a very similar dry sense of humour to me.
Why would he not suggest meeting up? Initially he said the town I lived in wasn’t an issue when we were having the where do you live etc etc basic conversation. If I don’t go back after a message he will instigate one, some are stuff about what he is doing, what we have in common and some are just funny or flirty.
Is this normal, do some people just want to message? He said he hasn’t been in any dates yet and was hoping I might be his first but I take that with a pinch of salt.

Any thoughts?

Sometimes they just want a penpal.

@MoreNiceCereal LDRs are hard work, feel free to pick my brains for survival tips, not right now though as it’a 3am ☹️

Thank you, @SimonJT, will do. Jetlag is killer!

Why would someone want that though, I don't get it?!

I spoke to a guy once @VivaVegas for 3 weeks before he asked me out. I refused to ask him. When we met up I didn't like him. I'd spent 3 weeks getting to know him really liked him via chat. We spoke about everything.

But I learnt to never do that again and everyone told me on here about meeting up soon.

Some people just like to get a thrill out of chatting. Also be wary some are married or have GF etc. So can't meet up