Dating thread 172: from developing a rhino hind to finding love in the unusual places...the rollercoaster of dating!

[CodLiverOil556]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item. 😘

Oh and if he weren't understanding I'd tell him where to go. Nothing is more important than the wellbeing of my kids.

Probably really outing to anyone that knows me so maybe should name change now 😖😆

@lifegoes It doesn't matter that he fell asleep on the sofa, he didn't stay there. He just napped whilst I put DS to bed.

@neverexpected2 holding out for the rock to come to his senses hehehe, that made me chuckle. This bench i'm on, there's a rock nearby. Fingers crossed

Introducing dc is a tricky one and I had some pretty strong opinions on it before I met MrY, with 6m at least in my head. My dc is v young really (only 2) and no chance of walking in on me or needing explanations as to who he is, but I don't want to unsettle any further so no meeting for a while yet. MrY has stayed here when dc is not here though, it's my home too.
Interested to read you're in a similar situation to me (I think it was) Notcoolmum with your iron potentially having stronger feels than you. How do you handle it? I thought about breaking off/slowing down somehow but I think I was just panicking. I do really enjoy my time with him and the sex is fanbloodytastic

supercali the Pinterest board is still there - it's over 2 and half years since we split up now. He tried to contact me on Instagram a few months ago, and last week sent a Skype message (which I can't see as Skype updated for me recently and everything has disappeared from my account. I only know he sent a message as I got an email notification). I guess I better go back to the police to report it (he was warned not to contact me).

Yeah I’m definitely not staying in this thread when I’m being accused of being a liar. Like what would I need to lie about!!?!?

What is with that? What am I lying about?!

I did apologise previously if my posts were triggering but frankly, I don’t care anymore. I AM dealing with the stuff that went on in my past just at a pace that works for me. Yes a lot of it is in a locked mental box but I’ll work through it when it suits me/ Good luck everyone with your dating endeavours and I hope you all find someone who makes you happy

@BatshitCrazyWoman Jfc, i'm so sorry to hear that.....people can be crazy. I am seriously hoping this woman doesn't continue to tell him that i've blown his cover....in fact, we are talking tonight and I will ask her to keep it on the downlow, because it was her that gave him my IG handle. There was no other reason for him to figure it out.

super you can block him though, can't you? I am just finding this ex very irritating as I thought he'd got the message when the police spoke to him and I feel like why should I spend a couple of hours at a police station because he won't fucking go away!

@SBD1 I've been lurking on this thread recently and read your posts and can see how they might be construed as fantasizing. They just seem like you are a teenage girl rather than a grown woman, who has said she has been through severe trauma of multiple sexual assaults. What you say about your son meeting your partner so early, all these extremely romantic scenes you talk about just doesn't have an air of truth to me. It feels like you have made this life up for yourself on this thread.

Oh wow @BatshitCrazyWoman that sounds awful. It really annoys me when I see this type of behaviour. You shouldn't have to get the police involved. He should know when enough is enough. But maybe you do need to call the police and explain again. Maybe this time he will take it more seriously. As the police have to take these things seriously now don't they. Hope you are ok tho.

And on the other part. I'm not going to out someone. I love this thread it's been great for me and others. And whilst I know I am often blunt. It always comes from a good place. But I don't like seeing it being tarnished with lies. So that's all I'm going to say on it.

Thank you @SherylAnn I'm pleased someone else can see it.

@BatshitCrazyWoman That's awful, it's ridiculous that you have to go out of your way to make sure a pest like this leaves you alone. Yes I can block him, I have done everywhere I can find him now.

@lifegoes np, i dont usually post but I could see exactly where you were coming from in this case.

Just to update, Mr Sash is now messaging complaining how much work he has on...I think that means tonight’s date is off too. FFS. I know he’s been on Tinder as his location changes so I suspect he’s found a better offer.

Well you should post more often. 😘 @SherylAnn.

Once again I feel like shit. I get far too overinvested too quickly. I think I need a break from the apps.

I mean.....those romantic scenes did happen. He did come round to look after me when I was ill, he did bring me flowers, he does cook for me, he did make pizza, he does all of those things that I say he does.

There is no fantasy in that. Yes I am falling hard for him and I refuse to hold myself back from that because its the first time someone's made me feel that way. And I hope it lasts.

But as I am clearly upsetting @Lifegoes and she's been here a lot longer than me, I won't continue to "tarnish" it with my stories as I guess there''s no need to upset the applecart and it is a dating thread, not a drama thread. So fo realz this time, peace out.

Did he say anything else last night @FMFL

Oh @SBD1 grow up. It's not about who is here the longest. Continue to post all you like. I'm just saying I'm not getting involved or commenting on it.

Now can we leave it there please. People actually have dating things they want to discuss. Not read this shit.

@SBD1 i don't think you are upsetting anyone, it's just things raise red flags in my eyes, these stories of assaults, letting your son stay with man who raped you, various health issues even though @lifegoes and some others here are in medical field so sound false, grand gestures of love from man who you have met two months ago, nil bad online dating experiences prior (could be just great luck on your part), man accidentally meeting your son one day, son knowing all about him, could all be true...who knows

@lifegoes he said he’d try for a date tonight, and he would look forward to seeing me...? Which I thought was positive until today - back to uncertainty. I get he’s busy, I really do, but just cancel or confirm either way, surely. I’ve chased too many times now to ask him again (he knows I’d like to see him) so I’m just assuming it’s off.

Oh @FMFL deep breath. Is he the type of man to just say it's off tonight. Or is he the type that doesn't like rocking the boat?

I think for you right now, take control. You feel like you've lost control somehow and it will be eating you up. If this causing you this much stress love, just delete his number from your phone and messages. (DONT block) but just to keep him out for a bit. Don't react in anyway to him. If he wants you, he now needs to show it. 😘