Dating thread 172: from developing a rhino hind to finding love in the unusual places...the rollercoaster of dating!

[CodLiverOil556]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item. 😘

@BatshitCrazyWoman oh you got divorced before you sold the house? That's the only thing holding us back. We can't separate the assets til we sell.

Can you get divorced before doing a financial settlement? I might look into that. I'm just hoping the extension to brexit provides a flurry of movement. I hate living here. Feels like I'm in his house. Don't like the decor, it's way too big for half a family, I struggle to maintain it, clean it.

@KermitRulesOK lovely re mr mechanic. ESP that he has lovely manners 😁

I'm feeling so much better. I'm still sad and getting those horrible waves. But I managed to sleep and eat. I'm ok as long as I don't think about him. Which I can do now. It was really nice having an evening home alone. A bit lonely when I ate.

. I may have had a nose on happn which is much much better than I expected. For my future reference. I can't do tinder again. I can't face seeing him on there. Or the same old faces. I haven't liked anyone on there or engaged with it really I just wanted to remind myself there are other options. It also seems less addictive because of the set up. Tinder and bumble are like winning a game, swipe,swipe,swipe ping! And I'm incredibly addictive. I decided that this time when I swipe I'm not liking anyone apart from suitable men. I'll be much more choosy. I've done the whole wooohoooooo I'm single let me at the men bit, two years ago. (Famous last words....)

Mr u wasn't in my life that much anyway. He left by 9.30 am when he was here on a weekend. And we didn't meet til 8 or 9 and only 2 or three evenings a week. So it's not like anything much has changed. I think there's a lot of the midlife crisis about him. Mine, not his! Hanging out with him was like being 30 again. No kids, a particular kind of youth culture, hanging around bars in east London. Not that either of us had alit to drink. Plus he's very foreign. Being with him and his friends was like being on holiday. They were really good about speaking in English but lapsed a lot into their native tongue and I loved it. So basically I've just had a long holiday romance and been pretending I'm 20 years younger. Grown up peanuthedz!

Oh god I just reread that. I'm a walking cliche! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I'll now let someone else have a turn on the thread 😳

When I got in he messaged saying he wanted to kiss me but didn't want to be too forward we just had a lovely hug and I left his flat. He wasn't able to drive at all so I parked at his and we walked to the pub. He's actually everything I'm looking for and is as gorgeous as his pics. @Peanuthedz baby steps chick and grieve for your relationship and I think what's helping you is that you called him MrUnsuitable and in the back of your mind you were protecting yourself. I fell totally and utterly for MrTall and it hit me hard when he ended it, but now look where I am only 2 months on - in fact look at where @Sunshineandflipflops is and she went through the exact same thing with MrSAS and she's found the lovely MrAD. 'Tis a ducking rollercoaster and the only thing is to hold on tight, shout, scream then get off but don't delay getting back on again (when you feel ready, of course!)

Ah my weekend is shattered by having to see ex-h he ruins everything for me but in my head I'm thinking of MrMechanic so can smile and think fuck you ex-h!

Anymore lovely updates from you lovelies? @SimonJT not jealous of your trip at all...no way have a lovely time!

Sounds like a wonderful first date @KermitRulesOK

@BatshitCrazyWoman ❤️❤️❤️ Relationship goals

Had a lovely evening and morning with Mr G. He's so great. Just the kind of man I'd want to have a long-term relationship with. FFS he lives halfway across the world.

Mr Copper is still messaging and seems to have reverted to flirting. We can't seem to help it. Oh well. He's agreed to meeting for a daytime coffee or walk because he reckons he could behave in public in the daytime
It's nice to think I might make someone lose control. Ego boost.

Sadly finding an available moment might be tricky. I was free next sunday but he's not so it'll have to be the weekend after. Boo.

What would you think about someone in their mid 40s or early 50s that hadn't been married or had kids? My friend's first question was what is wrong with him. Doesn't bother me at all.

Personally I’d think they were sensible 🤣

@saltysally I'd probably think they are fussy and can't commit. That said, I have a lot of single female friends in this position! Most men I know married young.

Do you think your female friends are fussy too @eesha? Not trying to be controversial. I'm really interested in the perceptions. 😊

@saltysally my earlier post wasn't intended to come out as critical as may have sounded. Yes some were very fussy, refused to internet date, didn't go out much but expected Prince charming to come to them. Or expected a man to win them over somehow. Very attractive and successful women though, and on the plus side, no baggage. I have two toddler children, so I expect some would wonder what's wrong with me because I am a single parent with very small children!

Thanks @eesha. You didn't sound critical to either sex. And there's nothing wrong with you either. I told my friend we all have baggage and have dealt with it in different ways.

@saltysally I'd want to know why as it's quite unusual. I only know one person who has never been married or had kids. For her the right man just Never came along. To be fair, neither did mine. It just didn't stop me!! 🙈😂

Ah @MoreNiceCereal that sounds difficult. He is over here a lot though??

@KermitRulesOK Mr M sounds lovely. Have you set up another date?

If they'd had some long term relationshios i wouldn't be too worried

@Notcoolmum he's here for three weeks this time, then home for two weeks and back again for two weeks, something like that. He doesn't get his schedule too far in advance but he's been doing this for three years so that's been the routine more or less.

I'm going to try to just enjoy the feeling of liking him and him liking me, and let go of expectations.

He bought me a bracelet. No man has bought me jewelry in many many years.

Haha @notcoolmum You aren't alone there.

My friend's comment has put me in a very reflective and theoretical mood today. I wonder how many divorces happen because of rule 13 and how many married for the wrong reason. No answer to this and the past can't be changed etc etc. I need to get out of my head.

I think it's society's perception of what they class as "normal"

I've never married, I've had long term relationships. But I don't really throw a big deal in marriage. I do have a child tho, that I had before I was 20.

For years I found myself justifying that I hadn't married his father and that I had a child. That's now passed but...

I get asked all the time why or how I'm single. And often people assume that must mean there is something wrong with me as I've never married.

It really infuriates me, my best friend doesn't want children. And yet has to justify herself and give reasons to people. Not even in dating

For me, I am not concerned if a man has never been married or had children.

I have plans to divorce but I refuse to lay to divorce a man who had an affair and ended our marriage so am waiting for him to intifada and pay and I will sign on the dotted line.
I can't stay in this house without him staying in the mortgage unfortunately as I earn ok money but not enough to take on the mortgage. It's not a massive house, only 3 bed so can't downsize either. I wish I could just buy him out but I can't do to some extent I am burying my head in the sand until
I absolutely have to face things head on.

Mr Ad's divorce is almost finalised but he doesn't seem to have a problem with my situation. He knows we are only married on paper.

@KermitRulesOK great update!

@Peanuthedz I did have something similar with Mr SAS. I knew from early in that we weren't going to be long term but it still hurt when he finally ended things.
I swiped on Mr Ad the day after though and yesterday was 2 months together 😊

Hi everyone. Pointed towards here from the Relationships board, where I started a new Thread.

Thanks @lifegoes

My brother in law has been "joking" for 10+ years I must be a lesbian because I'm not married. Last time I saw him I made it very clear the "joke" was over.

Congrats @Sunshineandflipflops