He cheated. I messaged OW. What next

[Mybaby15]

DP works away a lot.
Got back at the weekend and was being weird. Checked his phone. Messages to another woman who stayed at his hotel room for 2 nights.
Confronted him. Admitted cheating. Kissing and other stuff but no sex. I believe this because I also messaged OW and she confirmed. She was horrified. He had told her he was single and no kids. Had a fake Instagram account with just pics of him and his mates and some travels.
He was sorry. Still is sorry apparently.
I can't immediately escape. I'm not sure I want to. I don't know what to do. I can't tell anyone. I'm just stuck in this awful limbo where I don't understand why he's not grovelling at my feet to make it all better.

Women should not call other women sluts.

Ladyjadie, I can relate. I felt so stuck for so long, thinking I loved him and it would be enough. But splitting up by my choice in the end was such a weight lifted and just - felt so much relief. Sometimes you don't realise how bad it is until you're out.

Loads of people saying about I bet he had sex. Does it actually matter? He lied, he had 2 nights in a hotel with another woman, lied about you, set up a fake instagram account to do so. That is some lying, he sounds like a prince. Lied to you, lied to her too and who else?

I have to say I think he is lying on the instagram front too. In my exerience men do this to link to tinder. I had a guy message me once, his page was linked to his instagram. All pictures of him alone in nice places. All his "friends" we females. Nothing to suggest a wife. The idiot had displayed his full name so a very quick search on facebook showed a wife AND a very new born baby (about 3 weeks old).

Sorry he has done this to you, you are worth better than him.

"And as for asking the other woman of course she is going to deny it the vile slut."

He put energy into presenting as single.

Suppose she would not have consented had she known he was in a relationship with a baby?

Is it consent if you don't know all the circumstances?

He is a predator.

I don't care whether he had sex with that woman. He lied to try. His intention was meeting women who were not in full possession of the relevant facts.

Prawns word but what if they are? 😮😉

We need to define 'slut'.

Personally I wouldn't call another woman a slut. If she deliberately slept with my partner while in full possession of the fact that he was in a relationship with children, when she knew me and behaved as a friend, with her leading and encouraging (and enjoying) the lying, I'd call her a fucking monster. 😀

Or just a female sociopath. There are some. Often (unfortunately) highly sexed.

Point is, OP, how would you feel about yourself if you'd done what he's done? Would you think it was ok? If not, what he's done isn't fair.

I don't understand why he's not grovelling at my feet to make it all better.

Because that would put you in the position of power, and he doesn't that!
Why would he? He has all the benefits of a rship with you, plus gets to spend his free time going balls deep in other women while you're left holding the baby.

Also, who cares whether they had sex or not? Spending a whole weekend with another woman if they didn't have sex, means they stayed up talking, sharing time together, laughing and getting to know each other. In some ways that's worse.

This guy has no respect for you, your r'ship, anything. What a disgraceful shit he is.