So my dp has just broken up with me on holiday..

[rhubarb39]

Can't believe I'm writing this.. On a foreign holiday and he's broken up with me..there is background but nothing I felt enough to get to this point.. There is no emotion from him, he knew he was going to do it but said 'we both needed a holiday'.. I'm feeling very lost right now

Thanks for all your lovely replies.. I'm trying so hard to stop thinking. He's still sat outside so that's easier said than done.. Would love to know what he's thinking.
Anyway it won't be what I want or need to hear so yes best left to be on my own.
I keep thinking of the reasons why he's done this and I'm so upset as they're out of my control and he knows that, I feel like he's humoured me for such a long time and just dropped a bombshell.
To the poor lady who had the driving trip, I sympathise, the silence is torture. I'm a great thinker of role reversing and wonder if this was the other way round how theyd play it.. Who knows. I hope you're happier now

It is so cruel because there is nowhere to go to recover!

This happened to me, we were on holiday abroad and we had taken a trip sigthseeing with an overnight stay when he told me he still loved his ex. I was devastated. He couldn't even see why it was so cruel. It was the days before mobile phones so I couldn't even ring anybody or text. We had to stay the night where we were, then drive back to our apartment then fly home.

He was a miserable git though, his glass was always half empty.

If you can't stay elsewhere, try and detach, spend the rest of the holiday doing your own thing if you can. Don't talk to him unless you need to.

If you can muster it I’d make sure I was looking my best (consider it armour) and go out for the day tomorrow. Take a book or a magazine so at worst you have that otherwise sightsee, do something you love (especially if it is something he might not have liked to have done). If you’re strong enough go out for the evening too. The world is your oyster. Don’t engage with him.

I’d definitely give it a day or so and if it still feels like hell go home.

Stay put and enjoy your long awaited holiday then OP, and ignore him. Don't ask him how he is. He doesn't deserve any concern. You can buy a big holdall somewhere and use that to pack your stuff in for the return.

Get out early tomorrow and stay out for the day. Do something you like that he wouldn't want to do. Eat good food have some wine, try and enjoy yourself. Plan your week. His loss.

Well if you are staying the rest of the holiday.Get up early the day you are leaving.And take the suitcase.Serves him right.

You ask how you get over the ???? feeling and a large part of it is distance. Physical distance and time. Right now you have insight of a sort into what he’s doing, of he’s still out drinking, if he’s come back, if he’s brought someone with him, etc. the fact you can keep tabs on him helps feed all those feelings and keeps your focus on him instead of moving on. Of course it’s all very soon right now and you’ll be wondering what he’s up to no matter where you are, but sharing an apartment with him will fuel those feelings and make it harder to let them go. Which is one of the reasons people are suggesting a hotel or to go home. The suitcase and the things at his house are little details you can always sort out, but staying for a week in the same apartment as him will pretty much guarantee that the whole time you’re there (which will be all evening, every evening if you aren’t comfortable going out on your own and you don’t have other friends in the area to go out with) you will be spending that time thinking about where he is and, probably, why he isn’t home yet. It won’t help you get the distance you need and it doesn’t sound like it will make this much of a break for you.

If you don’t want to pay for a hotel can you get him to pay? Somewhere with enough facilities that there would be things you could do in the evenings other than sit in your room and brood? Alternatively, could you hop off somewhere on a jaunt until the end of the holiday? Take the suitcase, he can sort out another. Don’t worry about the things at his place, you can arrange to get them back when you return. But you are kind of torturing yourself by staying there for the week.

Stay calm. I'd get an Air B&B and get out of there. I had an awful falling out with a person on a group holiday once and I moved out of the hotel into an Air B&B and it was an overwhelming relief. I actually enjoyed the rest of the holiday. Take the suitcase with you of course. Its worth the money to get away from people who are draining the atmosphere with their misery.

take your tuff in his suitcase.the knob can buy a new one. then go stay somewhere else.quick hotel look up or air bnb?
being around him your going to contstantly wanting some form of communication.or what ifs.you need to cut this off.
if someone did this to your bet friend what would you say to them.would you say they wait,get answers,want him back?
you can still have your holiday,leave a note saying you will meet him at his place to get your keys at such a time on your leaving day when youve both arrived home.

Boom thank you.. I know what you're saying and it makes sense. He wouldn't bring anyone back, it's only us here, no friends etc.. He's pretty quiet.. I just hoped he was OK as like I said drink doesn't take long to effect him..4 hrs out, back and he's on yet another G&T.. Dont know how he's still up but then again I don't know how I am.
I can't comprihend at the moment that the man I love is sat outside and to me suddenly doesn't love me anymore.. I mean he says he does but he's not in love with me then which is where I'm heartbroken.
We click hugely.. Are so funny and compatable.. Then you feel like you're going mad inside and actually was it all fake...and why would someone do that..
Tomorrow I'll go to the shop, grab food, head to a pool and go from there.. Tbh at this rate he won't surface till god knows what time anyway.. Sigh.

If you can't sleep, look up local attractions and nice places to eat. Take yourself out for the day tomorrow, go and see a museum or a landmark or a shopping center (whatever there is locally that appeals to you) have a nice lunch, enjoy being in this nice place.
Never mind the bloke. Dick is abundant and low value, no man is worth spoiling a holiday for. Treat him with calm, chilled, polite indifference.

Really sorry for you OP.

OP in the kindest way possible I agree with a previous poster who said have some self respect and get another room. Whatever your reason not to. He doesn't want you there but doesn't want to ask you to leave.

I also agree with PP. He’s done this deliberately. It’s difficult for you to go anywhere. But he’s made it clear he no longer wants a relationship with you.
= he doesn’t want to let you go just yet but still maintain control.

Book yourself on a couple of daytime excursions to places of interest. Are you in a place where there are evening trips to absorb local culture through dinner/national dancing etc?

You love the man you thought he was and you DON'T love a man who can be so cavalier with your feelings. If you'd known he was going to dump you in this particularly callous manner, you wouldn't have emotionally invested in him.

There'll be plenty of time to mope when you're home so put all thoughts of him and your lovelorn state in a box to be opened when you get back, and treat yourself to the holiday you deserve.

Look around for somewhere quaint and affordable, a pension/hostale or similar, to stay and check yourself and the one suitcase in for a few nights. If you can afford it, or want to bash the credit card, find a swanky hotel with a spa and infinity pool and indulge in a few days/nights of pampering.

You're free to do what you want without to having consider anyone else - embrace it and have the very best time you can.

I’m so sorry, how cruel he is being. Tomorrow get up go out, enjoy your day. Don’t show him the pain your in. If you are just going to say anything- just say I feel sad we have come to an end, but I understand, and leave it! He might change his mind, he might not. Just focus on yourself now. Wanting and needing are so different so just hold it together as much as you can.

Op, what a shit thing to have happened. To be honest, going back home might seem the right thing to do to some people, but it’s a waste of money.
Tomorrow go out, get yourself a nice lunch, relax by the pool with a book if you have one. Get dressed up in the evening and take yourself to dinner. Pop to a bar and enjoy a cocktail. It’s not the holiday you wanted, but it can still have nice moments and it will help you forget he’s even there.
When your ex speaks to you be polite breezy and short in your responses. He doesn’t deserve you anyway.

Jesus that's awful. What was he thinking.

You won't leave the apartment early and go home or stay somewhere else because you're still in love with him. I think you are holding onto a small bit of hope that he'll change his mind.

It's difficult when you still love someone, you'll take their crumbs just to keep hold of them for a bit longer. Been there done that have the t shirt.

Try to do some things yourself. Even though it's going to be hard. He may leave early himself. I hope you get through this week ok .

What a psycho.

Sounds like you're better off without.

What would your advice be to a friend in your situation now?

Oh my days OP I can’t believe what I have just read. What a selfish pig way to behave.

I hope you have a good quiet day regardless tomorrow and keep us updated you always have us here for company!

I’m with the others, get the suitcase and dump his stuff and if you don’t want to go home find somewhere else for the last few days if you can.

The anger will kick in soon OP, this is ridiculous. You’ll get the power back in the situation. Stay strong and safe

So he has waited until you were on holiday to finish it.
Then he comes back pissed trying to hug you / asking if you're ok. So basically wants you to say yes and make it ok for him.
He's a knob. It hurts now but trust me in the future you will see this as a lucky escape.
Right now I would distance myself from him or it will be like twisting the knife anytime you interact with him. If you can't go home but have means can you find somewhere else to stay?

It was a cruel, selfish and stupid to wait until the holiday to let you know what he was thing. A real dick move. At least you know you are well rid.

I wouldn't stay. Ask him for his keys so you can get your stuff from his house. It would be too weird and unpleasant to stay.

Are you OK? What does he think you'll say to that?

If you won't go home early, I would absolutely get a different apartment. Then you won't know how long he's out for etc and you can please yourself. Take the bloody suitcase too- he can buy a new one!

You won't leave the apartment early and go home or stay somewhere else because you're still in love with him. I think you are holding onto a small bit of hope that he'll change his mind.

Oh wow, OP do you think this is it? You're worth a thousand of him. At least. Maybe he'll change his mind but after he has treated you like this? He can absolutely jog on.

Unbelievable! He could either have waited until you were back home or told you before. What difference would waiting a week and letting you enjoy your holiday make?

I can't imagine how you're feeling just now but try and book some outings as it'll help mixing with other people.