So my dp has just broken up with me on holiday..

[rhubarb39]

Can't believe I'm writing this.. On a foreign holiday and he's broken up with me..there is background but nothing I felt enough to get to this point.. There is no emotion from him, he knew he was going to do it but said 'we both needed a holiday'.. I'm feeling very lost right now

What an absolute dickhead!!

How could anyone think it was ok to do that when their partner was completely away from their home where they feel comfortable, friends and comfort zone? He's a pig!!!!!

As for saying he wanted to do it but you both needed a holiday..well what kind of 'holiday' does he expect you to have?

If he had any decency he would go and stay somewhere else himself (friends apartment or not) or offer you the money to stay elsewhere if you would rather.

If it's any consolation OP, this cowardly horrible act will more than likely make you realise he's an absolute fool once some time passes, and it may seem like the break up isn't affecting him that much now, but normally what happens to these idiots is they regret it later on once the woman has moved on and is happy and has already got over the relationship!

Good luck today op

Today have a lovely day by the pool and tonight get all dressed up and go out....go to a nice place sit at the bar have a few drinks and get chatting preferably to handsome single guys. Who knows where it will go from there but whatever you do don't stay in by yourself moping....get out there life is short and you might meet someone really lovely xx

Hope today is ok, OP. Can you buy a holdall or suitcase so that you don’t have to shame on the way home?

• share, not shame 🙄

How long were you together op?
It's harsh he has decided to do this whilst on holiday however it's not fair for either of you to be unhappy in a relationship and if he was that unhappy he has a right to say. He just either should have done it before the holiday or after

Hello OP. Hope he got home eventually and you were able to get sleep.
Please remember you do not have to look after him today. He is a big boy, can make big boy choices and so lives with those consequences.
I hope you get up and go out to eat and spend a day around the pool with a book etc.
Please consider flying home today.. don't torture yourself by having to hear him mooching around, in another room, or having to see his face. Your mental health will thank you.

Oh bless you.

I discovered my ex was having an affair whilst away on holiday with young kids and him. It was awful and a terrible feeling of being trapped and having to pretend for the kids everything is ok (I did not reveal to my ex my discocery until we got home.)

I don’t want to hurt you more but do you think someone else is involved?

You need to protect yourself now. Do NOT sleep with him on this holiday hoping he may change his mind. I would also strongly recommend you get tested for STDs on your return. Not sleeping with him is to protect yourself physically and emotionally.

You need to adopt an approach of «ok you have made a decision and now here are the consequences.» so no clearing up after him, no making food for him, do nothing for him. Do not beg him. If you want him back the best thing you can do is show him how life will be without you. Fake being indifferent to him. If it does not work you will have already started taking the first steps Into a new life without him.

He is not a nice guy. Nice guys don’t put people in this situation on He is showing you who he is - do not forget that.

You will survive this - you will even thrive.

It will take time but hand on heart somewhere down the line you will look back on this week and see it as a massive turning point in your life and one which led you to a whole new happy life.

Whilst away begin to make some small plans of things you would like to do now he will not be in your life. Start with small things - a night out with a close friend, buying new bed linen, small things which make you feel good.

Take it hour by hour.

If it was me, I’d take his stuff out of the suitcase, take the suitcase and myself to another hotel room/Airbnb

Morning all, thabks for the replies.

Cantthinkofapassword I'm so sorry that happened to you, I cannot comprehend what goes through people's minds at times. My ex prior to this relationship did exactly the same, first family holiday with his child and I found out he was messaging someone else.. 7 years just gone like that.. Its crap I know. This current dp knows about that and lots of other crap things that I've been through, of course it doesn't mean he should remain being in love with me but he could have dealt with things a lot better.
Anyway he took his sheets and slept in the lounge, he will say its because he snores after drinking. He did.. Tbh I felt very sad we were seperate but its for the best. The thing is now he's there and I've got to get my stuff together infront of him. Despite how he's been I kmow of he packed a bag and walked out for the day I'd be so upset.. But I have to think of myself I know.

I’m so sorry OP - weirdly the exact same
Thing happened to me (I posted on here about it under a different username). He broke up with me on holiday/was totally robotic about it/tried to hug me one time because he felt “awful” seeing me upset.

It’s 3 years later (actually 3 years last weekend I only remember that because we took the same holiday at the same time every year) and the one bit of advice I would give is, be strong, be dignified. I only cried infront of him once, never begged him, he knew I was devastated but I separated from him as soon as possible. I’m still glad of that. It sounds like you know the right thing is to split but it’s still shitty AF to do this to you on holiday - he’s a bellend. Good luck, very sorry you are going through this

Wow the fact he knows the exact same thing happened to you before and he had done the same to you says a lot about him.

You know you deserve better. If he can act like that he is not of your love.

Have you decided to go home/move to a hotel or stay? Remember you don’t need to decide anything today and can sleep on it.

*not worthy of your love

Sod the whole sharing a suitcase! Chuck his stuff out and use it for yourself and get the hell out of there! This is just mean and torturous of him to tell you with a week left.

Bluebear I think that's the hardest part.. They just switch off.. Like nothings happened and carry on. I'm glad you're in a better place now.

Well I got up, he was awake, asked if I was ok, I calmly said it was a bit of a silly thing to ask.
Had a shower, came out and he'd made me a cup of tea..i left it, started packing a bag for the pool. Asked what to do with the keys and he says he's staying at the apt all day.. Panicking now he's going to just pack up.. He wouldn't do that would he??.. I left and he told me to throw the keys up so I have.. Now no way to get back in but I'll worry about that later.. I'm by the pool trying not to cry

Considering you didn't see this breakup coming, who knows what his actions will be? Don't think you should have left him with the keys...

I’d be booking into a hotel, preferably all inclusive.

Rest your head for a week next to a lovely pool with someone else making your bed.

OP please go back into the apartment and take the key. If he's staying in all day he won't need it . Tell him that you don't trust him to do something and leave you stranded so today he can stay in the apartment and tomorrow you'll both go put and get a key cut. Time to think about yourself and you don't need to spend the day being worried about not being able to get back in later. He can suffer on his own in the apartment, all this is of his own making.

For your own sanity go book in somewhere else. Buy a cheap suitcase or bag and put your stuff in it and go. Right now he is in total control of the situation. By moving away from it, you are taking back some control. Book days out, evening activities, be very busy and enjoy what’s left of your holiday.

He told me to text him if I need it.. I feel so numb I don't even care at this moment in time..all I would want is for him to act like an adult and tell me if he wants to leave. He's very money orientated and suspect any extra cost will stop changing flights etc..but like I said I dont think I know him at all.

When someone shows you who they really are, believe them. I think that was Maya Angelou who said that.

You cannot last a full week living like this OP.

I know you say that this is a long awaited break but you’re going to grind yourself down living on edge in this atmosphere.

I’d cut my losses. You deserve much better than this. He has treated you badly.

If he's staying at the apartment all day why does he need the keys? Makes no sense. As the one out of the apartment I would think you would need the keys. Either go get them or message and ask him if he goes out to give you the keys first.

And really only one set of keys? Why are you putting up with this nonsense?

Fgs , just book flights and come home or book into a hotel for the week , I know you said you need the break but this is hardly relaxing is it .

OP I know you're in shock still, but you're giving him far too much control here. Get the keys back - he doesn't need them if he's staying in (or is he lying and going off to meet someone else)

I'd honestly go home and and have a week to regroup, do stuff with friends, etc; this will also send a clear message that you're not hanging around in the hope he'll change his mind - because you're not. He'd only pull another stunt like this later down the line if you took him back.