So my dp has just broken up with me on holiday..

[rhubarb39]

Can't believe I'm writing this.. On a foreign holiday and he's broken up with me..there is background but nothing I felt enough to get to this point.. There is no emotion from him, he knew he was going to do it but said 'we both needed a holiday'.. I'm feeling very lost right now

I’m so sorry that you’re having this horrible experience. My exH told me he thought we should separate on the same day we arrived in a new country after moving there for his job. Oh yes, he waited until I gave up my job and moved to sodding CHINA to say he wanted to split.

Honestly, it’s amazing in that I knew 100% at that time that he was/is/would always be an irredeemable twat. From that second on, I have always been totally on board with the split and have never wanted to get back together (he wanted to try again). But when someone reveals themselves to be utterly knobbish, just be relieved that you are well out of it.

Whatever you do for the rest of this holiday, it doesn’t really matter. Just be happy to have this self-absorbed turd out of your hair.

Thanks for the replies
The thought of him with someone else actually breaks me.. I can't begin to think about it, it's an awful thought as I love him. He was in a relationship prior to us for a few years.. Won't go into it but it clearly scarred him but he said he'd dated a couple of people prior to me and they hadn't worked out, he's hardly had any dating history, this was also clarified by a sibling of his I'm the summer who said he loved me very much but was very set in his ways/hard work at times.. I should have walked then, but we had no issues that I was aware of.
I'm sat in the apt listening to everyone eating and drinking and it's awful.. That should be us😢

Go home op! Change the ticket. This is awful behaviour. No one do this ..who goes on holiday to get rid of something...vvv abnormal. Look after yourself. If not able to change ticket get lots of holiday reading in and try to relax. Different beds of course xx

Do you feel strong enough to go out and get something to eat. Somewhere quiet. You dont have to sit there on your own.

I know this sounds awful but as others have said, "cherchez la femme" in situations like this is never far wrong.

OP try and tough it out and spend some time quietly recovering and getting some sleep. Plan what you need/want to do next and come home with a solid list of what you do next.

So what are you going to do? Just stay in the apartment....go out!!!!

Go home. Take control, your stuff and go home. Don't say a word to him. He isn't worthy of any more of your time. Hold your head up high and walk away.

I'd be tempted to go home ASAP. I know you wanted a holiday away - but when you get back you'll still have time off work so you can do some nice things with friends and family at home.

Or just completely and utterly blank him for the rest of the holiday. There is power in doing that - it makes you feel strong. Do not engage. Do not speak to him He does not exist. Go out for meals out somewhere. Go for walks. Whatever is on offer in the place you're at try it! Maybe book an activity you've never done before or book an excursion.
Anything to keep yourself busy and make the most of it.

BTW, sorry to say this, but there is most likely another woman. This is what my ex did to me twice (took him back, stupid me) - there was another woman lurking - though actually nothing had happened as it turned out and nothing came of it.

Again sorry for no specific names, I have an awful memory.
Were ahead where I am so it's quite late.. I'm staying put with a G&T. I'm going to go to bed in a minute as suspect he will come in and just go to bed anyway so I'm best to just be put the way to avoid anymore upset for one night.
Have literally lost my appetite.. Its still hot.. I feel so anxious.
Tomorrow I will pack a bag and go out for the day.
Thank you all for your kind words, I am so so heartbroken right now, I thought this guy was my future.. I love him so much.. We are so compatible its ridiculas..im cross at myself for not seeing this coming😞

Don’t blame yourself it’s him who’s the dickhead. At least have a look at an earlier flight so you know what your options are. I know you’ve been looking forward to it but is it really worth staying the extra week with an atmosphere and with other people knowing what’s gone on?

I'm so sorry for you.

But I don't think it's feasible for you both to sit out a week like this.

I think you ought to put pressure on him to leave OR pay for you to get a flight home.

You know yourself best. Are you happier there on your own, with him around, or back home with your friends?

Can I ask how old you both are- he sounds very young.

OP- there is someone out there who will love you as you deserve to be loved. It’s obviously not him.

Stay strong. If he wants to go then let him go without a fuss. If he’s not going to give a backwards glance then neither are you.

The best revenge is to live well.

Sorry OP have re-read but can't find if you've said how long you were with him for?

If I went home I think I'd just struggle more than actually being here.. I also get the sun I guess although right at this point I don't really care about much. He will leave me be if I ask.. Thats the prob I want him to fight.. I'm wasting my time. Without sounding full of myself I've never struggled for male attention.. But the 1 guy I actually love doesn't feel the same way.. That wouldn't be so bad had I known prior to going on a romantic holiday.. I couldn't feel worse right now.
We are both in our 40's.

One of you needs to go home. It's going to be torture otherwise.

Take care of yourself and try to enjoy some time by yourself

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Being away probably doesn’t help either. If he’s not happy though he should have ended the relationship at home rather than take you on hols.

Maybe get yourself some spa treatments and then find a nice spot to lie in the sunshine and read.

Treat yourself to some good food and drink, text and phone friends and make the most of a few days away.

It sucks that it's like this but try and at least get the rest you need.

OP, what a shitty thing for him to do on your holiday.

I had a sort of similar experience many years ago while travelling very long distance. We tolerated each other for a week, had some difficult conversations but honestly when I left (we had separate plans after joint holiday) I felt like a weight had been lifted.

I was heartbroken, but not seeing his face every day and doing things I wanted to do was a big relief.

I honestly think the best thing is to not be sticking it out in the same place. He's already fucked up your holiday so far, don't let him totally ruin the rest.

xxxx

What a shitty place to do this.

Sadly he has had time to work himself to this point and has processed and grieved the relationship silently.

His loss I can assure you, your dealing this with more grace than me , I would be 8 G&T’s in by now for a start 😂

If you can keep yourself busy and head out most days then all the better ... perhaps hire a car to give yourself some freedom so if you want to get out and go elsewhere you can x x big hugs

P.s he is a bit of a jerk Better you find out now than when your married and a few kids in

Whatever you do, DO NOT SHAG HIM.

You poor thing. What a horrible horrible thing to happen. Can you whatsapp friends or family - just someone to keep you company?
Tomorrow, just get some sun - sun is healing.
What fucking timing. He's a prick honey. He has hurt you so badly. Why is it always the ones we love the most who can hurt us the most.
Thinking of you tonight. Hope you get some restful sleep.

Good luck. Obviously it is not meant to be.

How cruel and calculating. You just be in utter shock OP, sorry this has happened.

It may not seem like it yet but hopefully you'll see in time he's done you a favour by showing you his true colours, he's not the man you fell in love with.

That's quite a head fuck to do that to you whilst you're on a much needed holiday.

Agree with PPs, if you stay in the apartment you need to be very cool and cold with him, don't shag him, don't engage with him. I'd cut my losses actually and get another room elsewhere if you can do you don't have to see him or be near him. You need space to think and see this behaviour for what it really is.

Don't be taken in by his faux concern and that he hated hurting you and seeing you upset schtick. You can't trust this man not to hurt you and you don't know him as you thought you did.

You deserve to be treated much better.