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Original poster

Today I am going to be told about his new woman

179 replies

MedusaMomma · 03/10/2019 09:49

I feel so desperately sad right now. I had been with my current partner for 15 years. We were happy, he was a good man. We didn't really argue majorly and he told me he loved me everyday. He recently turned 40 and he changed. We have a son together and i recently had a termination that i regret because he flipped out when he found out I was pregnant and left me that day. He never went out because he was such a family man and he spent all his time with us. Since he left our son who is autistic has become with drawn. He wouldnt tell me where he was staying until last sunday when he told me he was sleeping on a female friend from works sofa... Yeahi know what your thinking. I desperately wanted for us to work on being there for our son and he came home for a few days then again he text me saying he wasn't coming home. He also blocked my calls. I just can't cope. I know there is something going on and yesterday i flipped and found a way to message him and i yold him he needed to be there for his son. He texted me this morning to say he needs to talk. I am still blocked. I can't cope anymore. I have no friends or family. I can't cope with the hurt and betrayal, caring for my son and the loss of the child i should havd kept. I feel so desperate and don't know what to do. I don't know how im going to cope when he calls to tell me he is with this woman. I just feel so bad

OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 07/10/2019 15:10

but i can't throw 15 years of goodness away
But HE has done just that.
You are kidding yourself and I really do wish you all the best.

For me though, yes it is black and white.
Cheating = deal-breaker.
15 years with ExH and he was outta there!!!!!
No-one and I mean, no-one treats me like that.
No-one gets away with making me feel like that.
So I'm sorry to say, but for some of us, it is black and white!

TheStuffedPenguin · 07/10/2019 15:29

I just need him to do the right thing. You mean what YOU want ? This thing is going to crash and burn around your ears . You can't force someone to stay .

pusspuss9 · 07/10/2019 15:50

MedusaMomma - you are right, life is not black and white. There is a massive grey area in all relationships .

There are many things to be taken into account when making big decisions. You sometimes have to keep your eye on your end goal even though the way there may not always be in a straight line.

I think you have defined your priority and are going to try to reach it. I admire you for that. Only you know the ins and outs of your past relationship, and only you know the needs of you and your little boy. Of course it may not work out , and there may be stumbles along the way, but there is a chance you will reach it. I hope you do.

Cheating is a dealbreaker for many (me included) as Hellsbells says, but if you are willing to put up with it in the short term for the sake of your little boy's happiness, then that's Ok. Only you can be the judge of that, not any of the posters on here who would never have to live with the misery of your little boy.

Original poster
MedusaMomma · 07/10/2019 15:51

Yes exactly. What I want. I don't want to be stuck in this house and I don't want to be forced to be either. Eventually I will find my own place on my own terms. He comes home my son get his dad which he needs and we can sort through this mess and move on. Im no doormat and im not asking him to pick me either. Im doing what's right for my future.

OP posts:
TumblingTumbleWeeds · 07/10/2019 23:49

Well done OP. Make your decisions in your own time. Even though we live in a disposable age and you shouldn't throw 15 yrs away without a fight or ending it, as you say, on a bitter note.

strongteawith2sugars · 03/03/2020 18:08

Any update? How you are doing OP?

lborgia · 03/03/2020 20:21

@strongteawith2sugars - I got way too invested in this thread and have searched for any further threads.

OP wrote another thread for support, and then 3 weeks later had joined a ttc board as she had a new partner, and they wanted a baby of their own.

I didn't check any further, it felt like eaves dropping or something, but obviously excellent news that she has moved on.

strongteawith2sugars · 03/03/2020 21:57

@lborgia oh, that’s a quick turn around. Hopefully all ends ok for the OP.

Thank you for the update. I get invested in threads too and I’m gutted when I don’t get closure lol.

Hope you have a good evening x

lborgia · 03/03/2020 22:13

Well it's morning here, and funnily enough, I'm enjoying a strong tea!

strongteawith2sugars · 04/03/2020 01:38

Oh lovely, can’t beat a cuppa in the morning. It’s 1:38am here in the UK and I could do with a tea Smile

probablysue · 04/03/2020 06:20

OP found a new partner? That was quick! I’d love to know how that happened!

lborgia · 04/03/2020 06:36

It's all in the archives if toy are interested enough to search...

Bluntness100 · 04/03/2020 06:45

Does she say she’s found a new partner, all I can see is three weeks later, in November she said she was ttc and just “ starting her journey”

Opentooffers · 04/03/2020 07:20

Hmm... you're devastated because your partner of 15 years has just left and you've had an abortion, have an autistic son and somehow amongst all that manage to find a new partner 3 weeks later and are TTC, crazy.

katy78 · 04/03/2020 09:08

@MedusaMomma

RuffleCrow · 04/03/2020 09:16

Forget him op. Other than getting on to the child maintence service. You don't need to know about his new woman. You don't need to bother with him. He is a total shit and your life is going to be 100x better without him. He should maintain a relationship with his son but you can't force him. If he chooses not to your ds is also better of without him.

Get some counselling. Find your local group for SEND support. Join Gingerbread. Read some inspirational books and raise your spirits and your expectations of men so you know what you're worth. Flowers

RuffleCrow · 04/03/2020 09:17

Oh i see. It's like that.

lborgia · 05/03/2020 10:29

@Bluntness100 - there's another thread where she discusses that her ex was unfaithful, and left, and less than a month later she and an old school friend fell hopelessly in love, and because they want a child of their own, they need to crack on. I might be a little unfair but what really stung (I know, it wasn't about me!), was that her autistic son seems not to count right now. Maybe I misunderstood. Anyway, she's doing well, which is obviously great after all this.

Herpesfreesince03 · 05/03/2020 10:42

Jut rtwt. Wow 😮

Herpesfreesince03 · 05/03/2020 11:10

Anyone got a link for the ttc thread?

Bluntness100 · 05/03/2020 12:18

Blimey, just seen it, thanks.

ShesCurly · 05/03/2020 13:20

Bloody hell! That's a bit of a gear shift isn't it?! Hope everyone involved is OK, most of all her DS.

strongteawith2sugars · 05/03/2020 14:50

Wow, that is a huge change in 2 months. That poor child 😔

Devlesko · 05/03/2020 14:57

Aw, poor child.
I can't believe that some parents act so irresponsibly when it comes to their genitals, I suppose it's not just men. Sad