DH told me never to cook for him again

[Mummyonthebus]

This evening. He said it isn't worth the hassle (kitchen is not pristine when we sit down to eat- it always gets cleared up straight afterwards). Also the steak wasn't made to his liking.

For background, I have a toddler and a baby and sleep deprived. Everything is overwhelming and I'm doing my best. Just felt like a kick in the teeth.

How would you respond?

No more cooking for him, no more buying food for him, no more washing or ironing his clothes and no more sex with him.

I wouldn't cook for him again. I might make his favourite meal then sit down and eat it in front of him. Only enough for 1!

This is what we call "the trash taking itself out".

I clean it up. I cook and clear up. I do all the domestic chores. He won't be cooking for the family of course, he would just cook for himself.

So does he just sit on his arse every evening and weekend while you run round after him and the kids? Does he at least do his share of childcare when he's home?

I wouldn't play games. I wouldn't get my PA on. I would simply not cook for him again. No fuss, no argument, I'd just stop.
Anything else just lets him know he can say and do (or not do in his case) whatever he likes and you'll take it like the doormat he believes you are.

Saves you a job ungrateful twat

Pan inna face, OP. That'll learn the fucker.

(I do the cooking in our house - anyone speaking to me like that would be offered the choice of eating their dinner or being in it.)

Do nothing for him. No washing, cooking, ironing. Only tidy up your mess and half the kids mess. Leave his side of the room not hoovered and dusted.

I would take it literally and expect him to cook FOR EVERYONE as well as CLEAN UP as he clearly doesn’t it better than you.

In the mean time, you can look after the dcs/put your feet up after a long day. Whatever works for you.

And please, no ‘Oh amazing you are to be doing the cooking’ and associated praise. If it wasn’t amazing that you did the cooking and cleaning up afterwards everyday, then it’s not amazing if he does it either.

@SleepyKat
love that!. You are a my hero.

Btw, he is a twat. Even more so if he actually means doing the cooking for himself and then not cleaning up ‘because you’ll have to clean after yourself anyway’ type of attitude

I'd get literal on the ungrateful cunt at his request, plus I'd get get full Scottish at it.

Nae dinner. Let him do his own. I'd also be cooking fab dinner he'd be missing out. Spiteful gourmet 😄

And don’t fall for the,’but I’m at work all day and you’re at home ‘ crap either!

Dh said something along the lines of "I don't really like the clothes you buy me." this was after buying an expensive jumper for Christmas and doing without for ages to pay for it.
Hand on Heart I have NEVER bought him a thing since even when he hinted. It was about 28 years ago! Don't get him much at all. a book some chocolate or beer that's it. Ungrateful. He is not very good at putting clothes together eg: clash of colours.

I'd be pleased as punch if my dp said this to me. And I wouldnt cook for him ever again.

Well his word is Law so just obey him.

Eat with the kids
Don’t buy him food
Don’t take pity on him when he staggers in after a long day st the paying coal face.
Just smile and hand him a takeaway leaflet or suggest he starts online shopping, to be delivered when he is home. Make sur she includes dishwasher tablets or washing up liquid.

Get yourself off up to bed for 8pm and leave him to rot

I don't see the downside to this.

You can throw in all the rest of the wifework you do for him.

I reckon the novelty of cooking for himself and cleaning up the kitchen to his exacting standards just in order to smugly show you how it's done would last ten days.

What an extraordinary own goal on his part!

Not cooking for him would become like a religion for me after that comment. I would eat with the kids before he got home from work, having meal planned and shopped accordingly. I wouldn't make so much as a piece of toast in his immediate vicinity. Cockwomble.

To be fair @AnyFucker @theend already had addressed that. But as you are calling misdirection... care to take a look at yourself?

I wouldn’t bother cooking for him again!

Nothing to add to all these fab comments...

Apart from of course never cook for the fucker again . My dh would NEVER be so rude

If he said it kindly, and meant he’ll cook and clear up from now on, i’d say “ok, thanks!”

If he means your cooking is crap, your cleaning to slow, and from now on he’ll cook fir himself only... i’d honestly leave him.

Don’t accept this kind of contempt, you’re worth more

My first husband told me, the very first time I cooked for him, that the scrambled eggs were 'burnt'. (They were not but he had this idea men are suppose to complain about their wife's cooking). I got up, picked up his plate and scraped the whole lot into the bin. He never complained again.

I had a 'boyfriend' who told me my homemade from scratch (American style) biscuits were not as soft and fluffy as his ex-wife's ready-made Pillsbury biscuits. I dumped the whole tray of them over his head and pointed to the door.

He’d be getting exactly what he ordered. I’m not kidding - I’d never cook for him again.

And to the pp who asked - this man can’t be otherwise a good husband or father. Being a decent human being and kind, thoughtful and considerate towards the person you love is part and parcel of being a good husband and father.

One of the things I love about my DH is that he will eat anything given to him. Anything at all. He is just very grateful to be fed. If I am not in he will happily sort food out himself.