DH told me never to cook for him again

[Mummyonthebus]

This evening. He said it isn't worth the hassle (kitchen is not pristine when we sit down to eat- it always gets cleared up straight afterwards). Also the steak wasn't made to his liking.

For background, I have a toddler and a baby and sleep deprived. Everything is overwhelming and I'm doing my best. Just felt like a kick in the teeth.

How would you respond?

I'd say not a problem mate, you don't need to tell me twice. And let him bash on with his own dinners. I bet it won't last long.

I hope you didn’t give up your job /career to be a SAHP. I hope you’re on maternity leave. I think many women open themselves up to be looked down upon by men. I don’t mean to victim blame at all. Some men though do lose respect for women who quickly give up their lives as soon as they get married. Give up everything and only focus on being mothers and wives. You have to know what kind of man you’re marrying. (Not talking about you now OP as you’re obviously married to your husband). If you are going to be a SAHP then choose a man who shows respect to the role of SAHP.

I digress. That must be hurtful OP. Is he otherwise a good husband and father?

Id say "happy days your kind from relieving me of yet another duty".

Happy days! One less thing to worry about.

How would you respond?

I'd do exactly what he says.

My husband once complained about a shirt I ironed for him

Mine has also complained about my ironing shirts.... He's also complained I don't pay attention to detail when laying out a meal on a plate because the first bite is with the eyes. That was in June. To be fair it was a pile of mashed potato with the sausages sticking out of it and gravy but still. Don't fucking moan when someone cooks for you.

Well, there's only one winner and one loser in this scenario. Congratulations, OP!

I'd put him in charge of cooking. It sounds great to me.
And if he's only cooking for himself then we would be sent off to another kitchen.

Does he think he's doing you a favour by eating your food? He hasn't thought this through, has he?

@MontstMichel

wow - I only gave up ironing the shirts for 6 months - but my DP never criticised my ironing again.

I too would be jumping for joy if they said don't cook for me again - let him cook for himself - see how long it lasts - and how quickly the apology comes .

You don’t have to shop for him any more either. Bonus.

@AnyFucker why a cunt? Why not a knob or a bellend or a dick weasel? Hate women using their own anatomy to insult a male

I think I would go fucking mad if my DH said that to me. Lots of good advice above. Don't be making him a slice of toast or cup of tea until you get a serious apology from him.

To the PP whose DH only ate ready meals - I think that in itself would turn me off a man entirely!

Plus, he'll need to do his own food shopping now. It only makes sense.

Take him at his word, don't cook for him ever again.

My DH told me later he could tell what kind of day I'd had at home by the state of the kitchen.

Dirty shithole, he'd grab DD, clean the kitchen and make soothing noises. Clean, he'd assume a good day and we'd crack on together. That's a man.

What are you going to do, OP?

He sounds like a tosser tbh. Definitely don't cook for him again. And consider whether you actually want to stay with this man.

FWIW, I'm not a great cook and DH and I come from different cultures. I'm pretty sure that there are meals I've cooked in the past which he really hasn't enjoyed, but he hasn't ever breathed a word. Likewise, I wouldn't complain about anything he had cooked. It's just rude.

As for fussing about the state of the kitchen....

Fabulous, it’s so much easier to please yourself & kids for dinner!

He’s rude & lazy.

"If you are going to be a SAHP then choose a man who shows respect to the role of SAHP."

This

I would absolutely take him at his word. Let the eejit starve until he comes to his senses.

Two weeks post c section, baby in one arm, toddler clutching my leg I ironed a shirt for DH. Lord & Master complained that I put tram lines in one sleeve. I put the iron down, 25 years later I have never picked it up again.
I'm sorry your having such a rubbish time so soon after your second baby.

And pick a man who loves and respects his mother. My lovely late MIL told me she'd housetrained both of hers because she wasn't anyone's servant. And she was also a terrible cook that no one complained about I miss her.

Total agreement with everyone else. He spoke, you listened. Just do yours and your daughters food from now on.
If you are a completely shit cook, you’ll be better with another 10 years of experience so don’t let him put you off.

Op, why are you putting up with this shit?? Why?

@theendoftheendoftheend way to go in picking me up on my choice of insult but skating over the behaviour of the man here

It would be my great pleasure never to cook for him again. Or shop, or meal plan, or do any of his dishes ...

Urgh. I'd also stop sleeping with him too. Nasty selfish men are so unattractive.