DH told me never to cook for him again

[Mummyonthebus]

This evening. He said it isn't worth the hassle (kitchen is not pristine when we sit down to eat- it always gets cleared up straight afterwards). Also the steak wasn't made to his liking.

For background, I have a toddler and a baby and sleep deprived. Everything is overwhelming and I'm doing my best. Just felt like a kick in the teeth.

How would you respond?

so don’t. make him cook.

I'd NEVER cook for him again. Just don't do it. Shrug, 'Well, you said you never wanted me to cook for you again, so I won't.'

@mathanxiety I don’t think it would even take ten days

Had a similar problem with DP complaining he was 'sick of eating the same meals over and over again' - his idea of repetition is us having the same thing for tea more than once a month but he is also a bit of a picky eater and there are many things I enjoy that he won't touch . I usually do all the meal planning/food shop/95% of the cooking. Told the C.F. he could put on his big boy pants and take over all duties for himself and I'll have all the meals he never wants....he cracked in less than 36 hours and is now much more grateful! Call his bluff.

Is there a factory somewhere churning these pricks out?

Tell him how you like your steak!!!

You have to wonder why he said it in the first place. What did he hope to gain?
Just to demoralize his already busy wife? Well there's prince
Just to take it out on his wife cos he's had a bad day? There's a git.
Just to make her feel bad cos it suits you? There's a bully

OP think hard how you respond to this. You could be setting a pattern for a long time

My ex H got three chances to whine about food I had made him. After the third time I never cooked a meal for him again. Eleven years on from our split he still cites this as a factor in our eventual divorce "she was so lazy, she wouldn't even cook bangers and mash for me!" in tones of outrage.

Take him at his word and do no more cooking for him. I'd probably drop doing his laundry too and hope that he'd fuck right off now that domestic support has been withdrawn at his request.

How you should respond depends on the context of how and why he said it. It's really hard to judge based on a short post where everyone interprets the tone differently. If it was said meanly and ungratefully then you may you have bigger problems than whether to cook for him again or not. However its impossible for anyone reading your post to know the context -you know how he said it, base your response accordingly. Hard to do when you're tired I know. If it was said with good intentions you could maybe explain why it upset you so he knows for the future!

I can guarantee that if you managed to persuade DH to take a day off work and be alone with a toddler and baby all day and cook an evening meal for you whilst you take yourself off somewhere nice for the day, he will never have such expectations again. I had a3.5 year old, 20 month and newborn and my husband had a decent meal at lunchtime and was happy with a sandwich at night. He then negotiated a condensed week and looked after the 3 of them one day a week so he knew exactly why the house did not get cleaned and meal cooked for him.

I’d let him do all the cooking and the cleaning from now on. What an inconsiderate arsehole! Hugs to you! Xx

Great, so you eat with the kids earlier, and leave him to it. And since he’s so keen on an immaculate kitchen when he eats he’ll doubtless be doing that too. Win win.

This evening. He said it isn't worth the hassle (kitchen is not pristine when we sit down to eat- it always gets cleared up straight afterwards). Also the steak wasn't made to his liking.

Well, he can fuck off then can't he.
I'd never cook for him again. I'd make myself a meal (one portion only) and sit down and enjoy it and when he asked where his was I'd say, oh, you told me never to cook for you again.
He can eat frozen pizzas and ready meals.
I had an absolute dickhead ex who expected meals made but wouldn't wash up or clear away. So I said I wasn't going to cook for him any more if he didn't do his fair share. He didn't believe me at first. I'd make fantastic creations and sit down and eat them in front of him. Eventually he got the message that he was never going to be fed again so he lived off frozen pizzas until I finally managed to kick him out about 6 months later.

No dickhead would speak to me like that and continue to have meals made for him. He can cook his own fucking steak.

My dh complained about how I ironed his RAF uniform.
31 years later and I have never ironed a single item of his since

for you-he can cook from now on then!

"I clean it up. I cook and clear up. I do all the domestic chores. He won't be cooking for the family of course, he would just cook for himself."

Seriously what use is he?

Presumably you are currently sahm (mat leave?) and he's wohp?

NO excuse to do NOTHING at home - it's his home and his kids too!

Tell him to start pulling his weight or fuck off!

I'm another with a now EX who complained about ironing HIS military uniform - he only did it once cos I crumpled the lot up, sprayed it with the water spray I used for pressing and threw it at him! He did it himself after that!

But generally speaking he was better than many on this score and when dd was a baby he really stepped up.

Op your man sounds a selfish waste of air!

At the very LEAST from now on he does all the meal planning, grocery shopping, cooking, dishes and cleaning the kitchen!

Maybe then he'll stop being an entitled self centred ARSE!

Top Cleaning Tip - I found it much easier to keep the house clean and organised with one less manchild in the house.

Stophuggingme
LOL - you're right. Three max.

Top Cleaning Tip - I found it much easier to keep the house clean and organised with one less manchild in the house.

Haha me too... found this to be true in the case of both the exes I lived with.
Also cooking was much easier and much more of a pleasure when I wasn't worrying about what some dickhead was going to complain about next.

Tell him to fend for himself from now on. My wife criticises my cooking so I don't cook for 2 no more.

I'd be delighted at his offer to cook every single night for the rest of our lives and write him a list of my likes and dislikes.

I wouldn't cook for him again. And I'd take great delight in telling everyone - friends, family - that he said his steak wasn't to his liking and the kitchen wasn't tidy enough and that you've not to cook for him again. Then I would laugh . . .a lot.
fwiw when DH and I first got married, he complained that I didn't iron his shirts the way he liked. I never ironed another thing of his. In fact, he now does all the ironing.

I wouldnt be cooking for him again. Or washing. Leave it in the wash basket. Much harder for him to deal with quickly when he realised as apposed to picking a shift out of the ironing pile and doing it quickly.

He would be wearing his meal, right over his head.

@AnotherEmma
She probably didn't want to leave the chickens ... at least they appreciated her cooking .