Dating thread 171: Turning over new leaves as we head into autumn

[saltysally]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item. 😘

I have mixed feelings about the introducing thing really.

My exh had an affair and 6 months later introduced her to our kids as his gf. They still have no idea she was his gf before we separated. Shortly after, my dd who was 12, asked me if I'd be getting a bf as daddy has a gf and she wants me to be happy.
I told her I didn't need a man to make me happy but that actually I did have a bf. I had been seeing him 5 weeks, it ended about a week later and I found telling the kids difficult.

I was seeing Mr SAS for 5 months but knew he wouldn't be meeting my kids and vice versa.

I have been with Mr Ad for two months now and although my kids have seen his name pop up on my phone, I haven't mentioned him really or told them I have a bf. I care very much for him and yes, the L word has been mentioned (I wasn't going to say as I know how people can react to this but I believe love can be very different for different people).
There are plans for me to meet his parents and he mine and after that I will see how things go before introductions with the kids but I won't do it just so that I can see him more.
For me, staying over would be a way off while the kids are here as my son is 11 but still comes into my room some mornings for a cuddle and I would never stop that just so that I can have my bf stay over.

Notcoolmum thanks for your thoughts. I do have one or two child free evenings a week so it's fine really but I just miss him. My dc we're talking young enough to still be in a cot and not able to wander downstairs/into my bedroom. If she woke distressed/ill he'd leave if asked, he's very understanding that dc is priority. But still, I'm hesitant!

@KhaleesiTargaryen I don’t like asking people but I try and lead into it , for example say that’s a long story I’d have to tell you in person 😂. I do think thing now these Men are genuine but it feels a bit odd so I’m going to just excuse myself for now 😂

Is soneone starting a new thread?

My date on Friday is 5 years younger. I can cope with them being younger as long as they're in the same decade!

There’s no wrong or right answer, it depends on the individual family. Plus we all cock up multiple times on multiple different things. If we focused on all of the times we had cocked up we wouldn’t have time to do anything else.

On another note, weirdly just ‘saw’ my brother for the first time for about ten years on the one show. Also noted that Josh on the rickshaw challenge is incredibly day, wonder if he’s realised yet.

I want to go back on fab but I know it isn't a good idea. Maybe a run will distract me.

simon how long are you going to Japan for? About to book a trip for me and dc for next year and would love a few pointers.think we'll have to fly indirect as flights so expensive!

Wonders whether Mr Cath Fach is a milf Hunter

It's not easy deciding when to introduce someone to DC. I've just not been in that position yet. I tend to be very cautious. I don't even like bringing guys back to the house when the kids aren't here really- it's their space and home after all. Mr Cath Fach is the only person who has been round and only when they aren't here.

My two are too young to know about OLD. If I'm ever going on dates, I tell them I'm meeting up with a female friend of mine that they know of.

Mr Cath Fach is obviously something casual and I doubt he will ever meet them. But I can't see the harm if say he did ever come in for a cuppa when dropping me home (not likely) and if he were introduced as being a friend. One of my male school friends did just this when my son was home one day- so they wouldn't think any differently.

I'd find this acceptable because Cath Fach is a friend now really- we know a fair amount of eachother, known him since Feb. I trust him to be safe and a decent person.

If I were properly with someone, I'd probably be very cautious about them meeting. At the same time, we are entitled to some happiness and the chance of something good, I don't believe in depriving myself. And it's good for them to have a mum who is happy. I just would want to keep my emotions in check and not get carried away with something. None of us know what's round the corner I suppose.

Oooh nearly new Fred time 😀

I asked MrC to pass me something today and called him MrC (actually I used his proper initial, but it's something I call him frequently, so not unusual, he also calls me MissC as we have the same surname initial). As he passed it he said "There you go MrsC" realised what he'd said and blushed like mad, I was very kind and pretended I didn't notice. Freudian slip MrC? 🤔We'll see...

I don't think we're dating any more 🤷‍♀️, I'm not sure what to call it? A couple who don't live together but seemingly know everything about each other down to sharing Netflix and Prime passwords - this is serious stuff!? We went shopping for bedding today then waited in for a tank of oil and 3 sacks of dog food to be delivered. Glam stuff I tell ya, and I'd still rather do that with him than anything else with anyone else.

Pass the bucket 🤮🤮🥰

That's lovely @JeSuisPrest.

Sharing a Netflix account is serious stuff. As is the Freudian slip.

Oh i love that update @JeSuisPrest I love everything about your romance, it just feels so real and right. I know you've had ups and downs and got through it and that's what makes me so invested in it. 😍😍

Awww here's to Mr and Mrs C

@JeSuisPrest doing all the “normal” stuff together is something I really miss. You sound very happy. Great update- really gives me hope.

Lovely update @JeSuisPrest
You sound like a really normal, fully fledged couple. I feel totally invested in you both. Your romance has been exciting and yet so real. I hope you do become Mrs C one day!

Mr Ad and I are going away for the weekend in a couple of weeks...booked it today and can't wait!

@JeSuisPrest...sorry, MrsC...Lovely update 😉

@CocoKoko123 The flights are horrendous, I’m avoiding checking my bank balance! We’re going to see rugby group C quarter final, we fly out Saturday morning and we’re coming home on Thursday.

Tokyo Disney is pretty good, then theres the nintendo centre, they’res lots of great sight seeing as well. The city at night is a definite must. We’ll be in the very South, so we’re travelling to Tokyo after the match and staying in Disney.

There are some fantastic views from Tokyo tower, last time I went we did the Toyko Mariokart tour, but you have to be 16+ for it. We’ll be heading to the pokemon centre, we’re both that cool. There is a really nice park in Tokyo that has a shrine, but I can’t remember the name of it.

MrSG and I went to Seoul in the summer. Those were long flights. We decided to go with the dividing the flight in half option with emirates from our local airport. But it was still something like a 7 then an 8 hour journey there. And 9 and then 8 on the way back. We didn't find the jet lag too bad though, which was surprising.

Not caught up with the thread. Mr U and I just split up. Because we have no future. I'm heart broken. He told me he loved me which he's never done and cried. But not as much as I cried. So I guess I'll be back on the thread. I can't face any of it. The swiping, the moving to WhatsApp the entire thing. Fuck.

Oh @Peanuthedz. I'm so sorry to hear that.

Maybe take some time and don't worry about all the OLD crap right now.

Did anything in particular precipitate the split?

Thanks @WooMaWang

I'm not going near OLD for a while. Nothing really precipitated it. We're so damn good together. But he's right. There is no future. I don't understand why we can't live for now . I guess that's it really. You have to take it a step further or breakup. His business is still failing. He just wants to go back home. He says the longer we leave it to split up the worse it will be. We said we're in love with each other and he left. I can't get my head round it. Ah shit, just can't face weeks of feeling miserable and heart broken.

@Peanuthedz im so sorry, I was quite invested in you two. Is there really no future?