Dating thread 171: Turning over new leaves as we head into autumn

[saltysally]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item. 😘

It called being a human @supercali77

@Neverexpected2 sorry about the turn with Mr wade and that it sounds like he doesn't have the nadgers to be honest with you

@saltysally hehe. Shit. I was hoping to avoid that x

saltysally that's what really gets my goat - the lack of balls. If I've not been feeling it with someone only a few dates in I just say and end things there. We are now a month in, sleeping together and had the not seeing anyone else chat so the least I deserve is some honesty 🤷‍♀️😡

Hi All. :) Starting this new thread with a brand new iron for me. Lets call him Mr Dimples (yeah very cute looking!!) have been speaking since Sunday - all pretty standard so far but he's asked to meet already so guess he must be keen. We're meeting tomorrow for coffee. I have a slight reservation over how far away he lives but trying to be open minded so lets see where this one leads.

@supercali77 I'm with you on getting over invested in a text only relationship it can be addictive!

@Neverexpected2 Oh balls I had no idea you were a month in/had the not seeing anyone else chat. I hadn't been keeping up with the thread. After a date or 2 I really wouldn't expect much but- yeah that's crap and ball-free behaviour

supercali yep, we've spent weekends together in that time too. Hes a few years older than me, seemed to have his shit together and I hoped was a bit more mature than my previous irons 😡

Oh god that's even worse @Neverexpected2 time to teach him what's he's losing. Despise anyone who can't be mature enough to say what the issue is.

@supercali77 if you find out how would you let me know please? 😊

Yes, you deserve better @neverexpected2 honesty and respect shouldn't be a optional

That should be a rule @saltysally honesty and respect shouldn't be optional.

@Neverexpected2 that is poor. Def leave him to stew now.

@supercali77 I can get soooooo hooked on texts.

On the bright side I've angry cleaned my house today 😉

placemarking!

Hmmm. I think I'm done with Mr HK, my FB. We had a nice time this morning - we are compatible sexually - but at the same time I don't think he's all that attracted to me. I find him incredibly attractive, but recognise we are surface level in our interactions and it's fine with me. He said a few things today that make me feel dubious about him though. Nothing horrendous, not by a long shot, but the sort of comments that say to me he's laying the foundation for an exit plan. An example would be his response to me complimenting his supreme hotness - he said "don't get attached!" To which is said, "I'm not, I'm just having fun!" Which I was.

I've seen the way men look at me when they are attracted to me, and he really doesn't do that. Maybe he never has, but I didn't notice because I was so bowled over by his beauty. But even with a FB I want him to find me attractive and sexy, I don't think that's too much to ask. It just felt like he was going through the motions today, and I'm not cool with that.

But I could be interpreting his behaviour incorrectly. I'm not so cold hearted as to end things mere hours after a meetup....

He also told me he's come off Tinder - remember when I noticed we'd unmatched? - so I could be wrong about him, and he's just had an off day. I don't see him much, but he always asks about other dates I've had in a jokey sort of way.

I'm going to leave it for now, let these thoughts gel for a bit, and see how I feel later.

*he's come off Tinder because he "can't be bothered with it" and I didn't ask any further questions because I often can't be bothered with it either so that made sense to me.

@MoreNiceCereal I'm just getting into the world of FwBs and I'm never sure I'm doing it right. But yes I would absolutely want to feel hugely desired by the person I was in bed with. I'm in no doubt this is the case with mine. I need that in order to feel safe and continue to explore. Certainly in the absence of deeper emotions this seems even more important.

@morenicecereal that doesnt sound good. I always tell myself if I have to ask myself if someone is interested they probably aren't. I like really confident men who never seem to struggle with making it know if they like me. I can't imagine that would have felt good.

wafts good vibes through the air
Mr Green does seem interested in me. Roll on Thursday night.... 😊

Yeah, I'm in agreement. I'm thinking about the recent interactions I've had with Mr Chef and Mr Goatee - absolutely no doubt about their feelings.

I was definitely more into him than he was into me, from the start. Meh.

Why can't the ones we like be into us? Life would be so much easier

Yeah, but it's ok really. I had some fun and now I'm done. No hard feelings.

Great new thread salty

Love a snog sesh morenice

Welcome and good luck jane first date after a long time is scary but the support you will get here is superb

Onwards and upwards dating team. I feel bouncy with positivity. Should I get back on old????

I feel so much better for my month off and dont want to wreck that and I am time poor in October BUT I would really like to go on dates again (with my super new boundaries in place obvs)

Shagging Mr Big last week was a blip and I will not think about him or mention him again promise!

Yeah I get that @MoreNiceCereal I'm happy to have a FWB rather than a FB tbh. I need to feel that they want me, that's the benefit of doing this. But with no relationship or headfuckery. It should be easy! (She says)

Oh @saltysally mine seems to be. Why can't the ones I want, not pretend to be single. Why can't they just be single.

@Marlboroandmalbec34 talk about him as much as you need to, that's what we are hear for. Talk to us, rather than him. Get it off your chest 😘

Oh that's horrible @lifegoes honesty shouldn't be optional as we were saying before

So what do we think, slow fade? I don't want to spell it out to him or expose any sort of "feelings". Because I'm not hurt, just a bit deflated really. And that will pass soon enough because I have other distractions.

Good to see you back and in good spirits Marlboro if you're ready then why not...

Checking in, hi all. Very much up for some positivity!