Dating thread 171: Turning over new leaves as we head into autumn

[saltysally]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item. 😘

Looks like I have another iron to replace Mr HK. I'll call him Mr Golf. Seems nice enough!

@KhaleesiTargaryen Nope. He seems to be the spontaneous sort. Fair enough but ya know, needs must and all that

@saltysally The age of 'keep em waiting' just doesn't work in this scene. haha

@sbd1 I was on here a couple of months ago saying I didn't really feel I know Mr R very well. I think I have quite a laid back conversational style, I don't really ask many questions and people usually confide in me so it's not normally a problem. I've just concluded Mr R is much more reserved than me but I can see by the way he treats me that he cares about me and so I just enjoy being with him. We don't spend much time together so I don't want him to feel like I'm grilling him, I find that we chat more when we're not sitting across a table in a restaurant so when we've been on a walk or watched TV together.

@SBD1I’m a bit like that, if MrNN asks me something I tell him, but I don’t really offer stuff up, I just don’t think to most of the time.

@Sunshineandflipflops I don’t think I have any pictures of me and MrNN, I have some of just him, maybe we’ll have to do a cringe selfie.

Off to the park with MiniSJT and MrNN in a bit, MiniSJT likes being chased, poor MrNN has no idea what he has let himself in for.

@supercali77 not in this case. 😉 It's only a FWB type scenario so may as well start with the b otherwise the F is of little interest

What an eventful 24 hours I've had. Met with Mr HK, then binned him off due to the wisdom of this thread.

Today, due to a temporary change in my routine, was able to meet 2 different people and have a possible new fwb.

I was also binned by Mr Chef! He went quiet these past two days so I'm not surprised. He at least had the decency to send a voice message, which was nice of him I thought. Not ready to date yet etc etc. Whatever. He was a good kisser though.

Ah well after a convo with Mr Golf we are not going to work out. He's into some stuff that I'm not comfortable with whatsoever. Onwards.

So many irons to juggle @morenicecereal you must have a good memory

Xpost sorry to hear that. Next!

Today was crazy. I am going to go have a lie down.

😊

@MoreNiceCereal wow what a day indeed. Hope you’re ok.

OMG just matched on Bumble with a guy who I’ve seen around my home town who I always thought was really attractive...please guys and gals wish me luck!! Mr B who????

Good luck @FMFL I really do hope he's the one. Because lovely you deserve it.

I had a melt down earlier. Full on sobbing on the floor. Because Of FB guy and realising that it's fully over.

I'm fine, thanks. life I'm worried about you. Are you ok??

@lifegoes hugs to you. Totally been there, mourn the shit of him and then dry your eyes. He is so not worthy of you. It gets better - promise. 💐 keep applying your standards. xx

@FMFL love this. Totally go for it 😁 🙌🏻

I'm fine ladies thank you @KhaleesiTargaryen @MoreNiceCereal

Jut one of those moments I think I needed tbh. I've gone through the hate, the analysing, the missing him and something happened today (nothing major, just seen something online) and I just crumbled. Uncontrollable sobbing. As in a realisation it was fully over and that I'd never hear from him again.

I think I needed that, I think it was all the emotions built up and it just hit me.

I hope I find that connection again.

Right now I'm living through you lot. So send all positive dating stories this way. 😘

@lifegoes You give so much good advice to us all about keeping standards high and never settling for less than we are worth. Sorry to hear this one has got to you so much. When our sensible heads and broken hearts are doing battle with each other it's emotionally exhausting, but you're a tough cookie, you'll come out the other side stronger.

Hope your feeling much better today lifegoes?

Good luck FMFL

A slightly calmer day today morenice ?

So my nice tinder match who I was messaging nicely all yesterday had unmatched me 🤷‍♀️

So a grief d of mini be offered me a hypnosis session yesterday (she does it for work btw, she wasn't just practicing a hobby on me or something!). It was interesting.

The thing that came up when I was deep under was nothing to do with healing or letting go etc but about learning to be ok with being on my own. I've been really fighting that and i think it's been adding to my stress because I've been strenuously resisting the concept. Now I'm... resigned to it, even if i haven't accepted it. I need to learn to be ok just on my own.

However, if it's ok with you guys, I'm going to keep hanging out here because it's nice to have hour for the future a d be with people who get it.

Oh ffs. Bloody auto complete.
"A friend of mine offered..."

That sounds really positive, Dust! Definitely stick around.

I was up late last night chatting with my nice tinder friend, I can't remember his nickname.

I've binned off (or been binned!) all the excess. I only have Mr Goatee who lands next Sunday and my friend, who I'm seeing for drinks this Sunday.

Suddenly my life feels a helluva lot calmer...!

I'm taking a break from swiping, too

Thank you @JeSuisPrest it is hard when that battle takes place. Hopefully that's the final stage. That's the thing you lose more people when you set your standards high and keep your boundaries in tact. Just trying to keep telling myself that.

Thanks @Marlboroandmalbec34

@DustMyselfOff def stick around. We are a good group of people. And we'd miss you if you weren't here

@lifegoes I think the same as you. Noone will respect issues if we don't respect ourselves so keep that bar high. Quality not quantity is best imo.

That sounds really insightful for you @dustmyselfoff. Definitely stick around

@marlbs his loss 😉