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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Ex boyfriend is really distressed

203 replies

HelpHelpHelpHelp1 · 28/09/2019 22:36

Hello!
We're both 25.
I broke up with him over long distance at the start of the year and i'm with someone new and have been with him for about 2 months.. ex and I were together 5 years.

Ex has come home from travels.
He came home this week. He is texting me asking me to meet up and speak to him. I've refused. He's texting me saying how much he loves me and wants closure.
I had a phone call with him tonight to try and give him that closure, He was begging me to come see him, said he was parked around the corner from my house, started crying, said he'd had suicidal thoughts.

I told him i'm with someone else and he said "all couples go through hard times, we can get through this.

I ended up ending the call because i got overwhelmed.
He messaged me saying he was still around the corner of my house and i can come sit with him in the car - i refused.
He's texting saying i'm the love of his life and he just wants to soeak to me for 5 minutes then he's out of my life.
He's texting me memories we've had together and how he's never going to be with anyone else again, how i'm the love of his life.

I was going to block his number until he brought up the suicidal thoughts!
I've text his mum to say i'm worried,
But i dont know what to do!!

OP posts:
Starlight456 · 29/09/2019 19:39

Well ignoring the other nonsense

Hope this is the end of it for you .

HelpHelpHelpHelp1 · 29/09/2019 19:46

Thank you all, i hope that's it too now! I might have an early night

OP posts:
Inish · 29/09/2019 20:25

Are your family aware of what’s gone? Hope that is the end of it but it might just be the beginning. Make sure everyone is aware in case he turns up.

HelpHelpHelpHelp1 · 29/09/2019 20:55

I've had an email popup from him. Telling me how he's tried to message me loads and is getting no response. He's told me he's got a box full of memories he wants to give me and that he'd do anything for me - even buy me a house (?) Hmm
And then says he never wanted things to be like this and he's distraught

I'm not sure how to block hotmail emails? I'll have a google

OP posts:
HelpHelpHelpHelp1 · 29/09/2019 20:56

My family are aware. I live with my parents.
They don't want me to answer the door when i'm home alone Confused

OP posts:
katalavenete · 29/09/2019 21:02

They don't want me to answer the door when i'm home alone confused

Damn right. Are you going to call the national stalking helpline?

You might be better off setting his email address to divert into a separate folder so you have the emails as evidence if he continues escalating his behaviour.

BentlyandPalmers · 29/09/2019 21:02

Open Hotmail. Click the "Options" menu in the top right of the screen, then select "More Options." Choose "Safe and Blocked Senders," then "Blocked Senders," and enter the email address of the person you wish to block.

katalavenete · 29/09/2019 21:03

He's not distressed, he's beginning to stalk you.

BumbleBeee69 · 29/09/2019 21:03

I hope they both get the help they need

Agreed

CodenameVillanelle · 29/09/2019 21:05

Fuck sake
I don't know if you can block Hotmail, hopefully you can. Do NOT meet him. I had an ex who wouldn't let go when I was young, it was suffocating and awful. I had to change my phone number in the end (couldn't block in those days)

BentlyandPalmers · 29/09/2019 21:06

Better off blocking in everything as advised yesterday.

Have you blocked on Facebook and Instagram? I will bet he will message you on social media next. Then he will ring your family’s landline, so block there too. WhatsApp? Block him there. Letter through the door? Bin without opening.

BentlyandPalmers · 29/09/2019 21:07

CodenameVillanelle

It’s easy to block Hotmail. Instructions above.

HelpHelpHelpHelp1 · 29/09/2019 21:08

I deleted whatsapp ages ago as that was our main form of communication when together,
He has no social media (he deleted it.all years ago because he prefers to be private),
I only have facebook which is at the most private setting

OP posts:
BentlyandPalmers · 29/09/2019 21:08

How to block someone on Facebook

m.facebook.com/help/168009843260943?helpref=uf_permalink

BentlyandPalmers · 29/09/2019 21:09

How to block someone in Instagram

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/learn.g2.com/how-to-block-someone-on-instagram%3fhs_amp=true

HelpHelpHelpHelp1 · 29/09/2019 21:09

It's just strange because i never thought he's be like this.
In the past, he was the one dumping me. He also used to tell me to be careful of.men because a lot of men have bad intentions, and here he is now!

It's sad because I look back and i've never ever heard him cry apart from last night

OP posts:
BentlyandPalmers · 29/09/2019 21:10

Have the account holder of your landline ring your provider and block his number if you cannot do it via your answerphone.

Clangus00 · 29/09/2019 21:10

I would be contacting the police non-emergency number ASAP and asking for their advice.

BentlyandPalmers · 29/09/2019 21:11

Do not answer your landline , let it go to the machine if no one else in in.

BentlyandPalmers · 29/09/2019 21:12

Clangus00 this has been suggested over 20 times!

HelpHelpHelpHelp1 · 29/09/2019 21:12

I dont think he knows my house number, he used to always ring my mobile so hopefully he cant reach me that way

OP posts:
BentlyandPalmers · 29/09/2019 21:13

Agree you should change your phone number and this is what they authorities suggest also.

BumbleBeee69 · 29/09/2019 21:14

I despair Hmm

Sagradafamiliar · 29/09/2019 21:16

Bently you are^^ hounding the OP. Lay off a bit

katalavenete · 29/09/2019 21:21

Nobody gets into a relationship thinking "ooh I bet this guy will stalk me one day".

In the past, he was the one dumping me. He also used to tell me to be careful of.men because a lot of men have bad intentions, and here he is now!abuse

You might want to think about the Freedom Programme. Www.freedomprogramme.co.uk

This is all kinds of messed up.