Break up support thread 3

[herbsmokedchicken]

We’re all still here...

@rowlett I can see that losing your girlfriend would be very traumatic. Still not nice to vanish, hopefully he will give you an answer soon, not knowing is the hardest. I know what you mean about not being allowed to be happy, I feel like every time I trust someone romantically I get hurt badly. I'm not sure how much pain my heart can keep taking

@herbsmokedchicken well done for meeting him! I hope you do feel like you have more answers now, still really hard to deal with though.

I've kind of resigned myself to him being gone now. It's hard because I sleep badly and sometimes I feel panicked in the night when I wake up. I'm going to keep focussing on work and my kids and try going on some dates.

I sniffed my clothes from his house! I promised myself I wasn’t going to but I did! And they smelled like his home. Straight in the wash tomorrow. I refuse to cry over a t shirt.

He definitely is speaking to this girl I thought he was they're Facebook friends now and she's come up on my suggested. Feel crap.

Awww that sucks it’s such a horrible thought
We are going to be ok tho, we really are.

Feel so sad.

If he wants to move on so badly why is he still meeting me, why hasn't he blocked me, why is he suggesting future meetings? He's full of shite it seems for god sake!! Wish I could stop thinking of it on and off

Yeah that’s horrible! At least mine hasn’t messed me around, I’d hate to have that whole is he isn’t he thing especially with everything else you’ve got going on.

I’m just feeling sad. I miss him. I miss our life together. And it sucks to know that he misses it too but still has absolutely no desire to get back together. Like, it is proper, proper over.

God, where am I going to find someone like him? He ticked nearly every box. He was what I’d been looking for. FUCKS SAKE.

I feel the same. He's sad and loves me but still doesn't want me. Hm.

Ugh. This just sucks! I hate it. I hate that my lovely boyfriend and our lovely life only lasted such a tiny amount of time. Fucks sake.

Hahahahaha

I posted a picture, in case it doesn’t load and it looks like I’ve just randomly said “hahaha” on its own

Hahah god its all going round in circles. I know there's no point in crying and being sad but my heart feels a bit heavy.

Yeah I know what you mean, I just keep thinking how bloody sad it is that it didn’t last.

I hate that he's speaking to/seeing someone new.

Been there! I hate that he's with someone, that he left me for her! Urgh I hate him but love him still at the same time, so hard to switch emotions off

Yup it’s horrible! He said about how he hadn’t been happy with his job for a while and had even looked at jobs whilst we were together (I think he’d mentioned that actually) and I knew he wasn’t happy, if we’d been together longer I’d have encouraged him to leave. And I do wonder, and I’ve thought this before, if subconsciously he associated me with keeping him tied to his job, hard to explain why without being a bit outing but it would be difficult for him to get another job here. If he’d asked, I think I’d have moved with him. But I think realistically we were probably just never destined to work, it was always supposed to be a lovely first relationship. Still think if we’d met later in life, or when we’d had more experience, we’d have made it. But. I’ll never know.

God I feel so down right now! I haven't really cried over the situation before tonight but since my last post about it like 3-4 hours ago I've just been crying my heart out with this awful heavy feeling in my chest. Maybe this is my mind's way of starting to convince me that it is really over and all the fun things I had to look forward to and the hope I had are just gone now but FUCK I'm so sad about it! I know logically that in any case until/if he gets round to replying there is no point in dwelling and nothing I can do but I just can't help feeling so sad, it's all I can think about. I have to get up at 6am so was optimistically planning an early night but I'm just so, so sad. I don't know why it had to turn out like this.

Seems that we're all feeling similarly tonight anyway love the meme herb, I'm really glad I have here to post because while I have some decent friends irl I know they don't really get it and just say I should forget him. Which I probs should but if it was that easy I wouldn't have been crying for hours!!!!!

@PuffinSock and yes I feel the same about always being let down romantically... because of that I've become more cautious over the years but it seems like even that didn't work because in this situation everything was going wonderfully until it just suddenly wasn't! I hate being alone but equally don't know how much more blindsiding I can take.

@herbsmokedchicken I'm glad your meeting went as well as it could have, you handled it well just such a sad situation.

(I'm on my phone so sorry if tagging etc didn't work!)

Yeah it’s helpful having this thread as we are all going through it in real time!

A good cry might be what you need, to get everything out!

Lol just remembered the other day when I dreamed A had left his car at my house and I was going to open it and get my stuff but was apprehensive cos I knew it would smell all familiar, and then I woke up. Think I said about it on the previous thread. Knew all bloody week something was up! And the clothes did indeed smell familiar. and being in the car was so familiar. Will never sit in that car again can’t sleep, any time I try, i cry, so will just dick about online a bit longer. Sigh. What a pile of piss.

God breaking up is weird. A few months ago we were in love, spoke every day, hated being apart, were going to be together forever. Now I’ve seen him in person for what is probably the last time, and we will probably only speak now and again over text, if at all. How fucking sad.

Two months ago yesterday is when it happened. Before that I thought it was all fine. I want him to want me. People say "they always realise, they always come back" and I'm wondering when or if that's true.

I woke up and wanted to cuddle him so badly today wonder if he misses me.

9 weeks today for me. And same, the week leading up I knew something was up but before then, I thought it was all fine. I know he’s not coming back. And I know now he does miss me a little bit but still doesn’t love me or want to be with me. I’m hoping I can start to move forward now.

But yeah I miss waking up with him

But I’m sure before too long we will be waking up with lovely new men!

Not that I can picture it yet. If I even try to imagine being with someone else, they just morph into him.

Saw this on my feed