Break up support thread 3

[herbsmokedchicken]

We’re all still here...

Oh tinsel I’m not feeling too bad right now compared to earlier but putting off going to bed even tho I’m tired coz I know as soon as I lie down, all the thoughts will start rushing round my head.

It's all hit me again sobbing myself to sleep. Not done this in a while.

Feel shit, so incredibly low, can’t stop crying, everything reminds me of him, feel like someone’s died. Hate this so much. 😭😭

Felt sick all night and really tired and sad. Not in a good way once again

Oh dear I’m sorry. I’m actually not feeling too too bad this morning, managed to actually get to sleep instead of lying awake, went to bed a bit late so still tired but not feeling too bad, and emotionally I’m feeling ok as well at the moment, let’s see how long that lasts!

I'm feeling so rubbish this morning, I've been awake on and off all night. Why can't I get over him? It's been 3 months now and I still dream of him every night. I'm supposed to be dropping him to the hospital this evening as he's having a operation tomorrow. I know I should say just get on with it yourself and find your own way there. Or even let her take you there. But I can't do it, I still love him with all my heart. When Will it all stop 😢

Oh it’s horrible isn’t it? Scrap what I said about feeling ok emotionally, I am starting to go downhill now. Just can’t stop thinking about him and wishing it was all different. Especially as we get closer to the date of us first getting together, keep remembering how excited and optimistic we were

Also I was hoping that the meeting on Saturday would give me closure but of course he’s still here for two months so I think probably until he actually leaves I’ll still have that little bit of hope altho I am trying to quash it.

Altho it is starting to feel more final today tho so that’s good. I mean I feel like shit but hopefully it’ll lead to acceptance. Fuuuuuck tho

Hi, goodness so much has seemed to gone on.

My update is, twat has gone back home to Canada for good, I found this out via someone else, I did have to break to NC (due to some financial things) I emailed and I've never had a response. I still get angry and hurt when I think of how and why it ended.

On a more positive note, I'm still going on dates with the new guy, we get on like a house on fire, he has even asked me to be his plus 1 at his brothers wedding :)

I will admit I have got my guard up though, because twat hurt be so badly, I'm waiting for it to happen again, i know i cant tar everyone with the same brush and i need to work through that.

Oh wow! I would say it’s good that at least you won’t run into him but can’t remember if you’ve got kids together or not?

That’s really good about the dates! I’m hoping I’ll feel up to going on dates soon (if I even meet anyone I want to date, there’s not much choice here) but like you say, will have my guard up. It’s hard because A was so lovely and he didn’t cheat or make things awful or anything, he just fell out of love with me, which was my biggest fear, so it’s going to be very hard to be with someone and trust it’s not going to happen again.

That's good @mumcomehere! Hope it goes well for you with him.
I'm in Canada and its amazing! I have broken my social media silence and of course who watches my story...
And when I've got wifi I may have had a little whatsapp/facebook stalk...his social media and being online is still dodgy so I think I have to accept that maybe their relationship isnt as intense as ours was with texting all the time! I can't believe I'm on holiday and still bothering myself with him 🙄 he would love it here though :(

Ooo exciting! I’ve never been to Canada!

Oh I was the same when I went on my mini break a few weeks ago, it was only the next city over so I had normal phone service so was checking it just as much as ever!

Oh so I worked out why he viewed a couple of my stories and then stopped, I think - I was using the story function quite a lot when I hadn’t for ages, right after I posted a story, someone who looked at all my stories made a status asking how you stop getting notifications when someone posts a story. She’s not looked at a story of mine since. So I suspect as I hadn’t used the function in ages, people were getting notifications about it and then turned them off! So I reckon that’s why he looked, as he’s not looked since. Didn’t think to ask but not really fussed tbf. Absolutely cracked me up when my friend posted that status tho and I realised it was blatantly coz of me!

I’m not feeling tooo bad today, not feeling amazing but have felt worse.

Well I'm off on a 3 day riding trip now which will be three days without internet so I won't be able to stalk at all!

Have a lovely time! Maybe that’ll be the cold turkey break you need to break the habit

@herbsmokedchicken sorry for how late this reply is (fell asleep and then went to work basically lol, how exciting, although I woke up at one point in the middle of the night and struggled to get back to sleep for ages because I couldn't stop going over everything in my mind) but thank you, you're always so kind and you're right... I'm absolutely the sort of person who can't stand having no resolution/answer to things... but I'm powerless to do anything about it in this situation. I know I've said this a thousand times but I'd rather he just told me he found me too annoying to be around or something rather than this TOTALLY NOT KNOWING ANYTHING

I'm still feeling really down, not QUITE as bad as yesterday but it comes in waves... I don't work until lateish tomorrow so I might have a few raspberry gins and try to chill out... although it'll probably just end up making me sob a little! Keep swinging between just feeling so gloomy and hopeless about it and still having a little bit of hope from how he acted/things he said when we were spending time together... but obviously I don't know anything. Definitely not in any frame of mind to talk to anyone new yet unfortunately... he was the first person in a long time who I could talk to/spend time with so effortlessly for hours on end (plus the fact he'd been taking me on real, cute proper dates and not just trying to skip past all that like many guys do was endearing to me lol) and he said the same. SO WHY DID THIS HAPPEN. ARGH.

I hope you have a good time away @Jonsnowsghost!

Hope everyone else is feeling a little better than earlier

@rowlett I think it must be awful just not knowing...it is hard enough to go through a break up but no answers must be torture. Be kind to yourself as your struggles with this are really understandable.

Sorry to the new joiners, this is a club none of us wanted to join!

I looked up his new girlfriend on Facebook at the weekend I saw she had posted photos of them together, they look happy. There is crossover, she doesnt know about me (as i didnt know about her...) i feel sorry for her, accepting him into her life and i know he cheated on her multiple times. I suspect this relationship will fail in time, but that's not my business or concern. I think seeing photos of them together has given me some closure and a wake up call. Why should I mope about him when he clearly doesnt value me and chose to be with her! Interestingly he has kept in lose contact with me and I suspect would like to keep me as a fall back/reserve/occasional sex and romance when hes bored. Next time he contacts me I will tell him I'm dating and seeing someone. It hurts but I need to move on.

I feel blooooody sick and upset and I could cry. I miss him being around and wish he gave a fat fuck.

Someone put me out of my misery

I’m sorry you’re feeling shit! I’ve cried a few times today but currently not feeling too awful but still sad, and still keep thinking about him constantly. I know he’s not coming back, I know he doesn’t love me anymore, but I still have that little bit of hope, it won’t fuck off

I just keep thinking he's with her.

I hate how they can do this to us and make us feel so rubbish and they just carry on as though life is great. I hope your all feeling ok as can be. I feel sick in my stomach that comes in waves. I'm glad the meeting went as ok as can be herb and you got some kind of closure. I hope your ok Tinsel I just dont get how emotionally switched off they can be and just ignore any damage they do to us. Hope everyones evening has been ok.

How are we all this morning? I’m tired. And flat. Keep thinking about the finality of it all. When we split we said (in hindsight naively) that in time we could be friends and hang out again. And of course I had a little hope that that would remind him of why he fell in love with me in the first place and we’d get back together - probably not but I had my little hope. But now he’s going in two months, I’ve already seen him for the last time, he’s not going to come back here for any reason. I’m never going to see him again. Like it was over but now it’s actually, actually over. But I don’t want it to be. I want him so much.

Feel shit. Cried in the loos. Keep flashing back to all those happy times we had and now it’s all over, I love him so much but he doesn’t love me and it’s over. I’m so fucking heartbroken.