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Original poster

C and the (non-existent) FB messages

999 replies

JaysusWept · 18/09/2019 09:31

Morning all.
Can't believe the last thread filled up!
Thanks so much to everyone for all of your responses and your support. It really was invaluable to me.

According to K, M and D, they've had no response from C to their messages asking her to explain what has gone on and why she's been lying. She's seen the messages, but hasn't replied to any of them. I ended up muting my WA chat last night because it was buzzing constantly Hmm Did make me wonder if the chat I was exluded from was as busy...

L has told M that she'd believed C, can't believe she would lie about something as serious as this (nothing about not believing I would do such a thing!) and that she needs to hear what C has to say about it. She hasn't attempted to contact me, and I don't want her to. That friendship is over.

I'm wondering what C will come back with now. Part of me thinks she'll just freeze K, M and D out and not even bother to give an explanation, because how could she explain it?
I'm just so relieved that that's it now - they know I wasn't lying. Although I intend to stay friends with K, M and D, I think my friendship with them will cool slightly. They didn't support me when I needed it, and from their responses/reactions, I'm guessing that they were similarly as gossipy and 'excited' with C and L when this was all going on. I'd hoped they were trying not to take sides, etc - but the way they seem to be almost revelling in this now, with the amount of messaging and speculation - I'm guessing they were speculating about me this way?
It's left a bad taste in my mouth.

OP posts:
Itsallpetetong · 18/09/2019 16:06

does the husband actually know he had been kicked out?

I wonder.......

It is a bit of an odd reaction to throw the husband out because he publicly admitting to not knowing about any messages though.

GilbertMarkham · 18/09/2019 16:07

Found a link to the David song;

GilbertMarkham · 18/09/2019 16:08

It is a bit of an odd reaction to throw the husband out because he publicly admitting to not knowing about any messages though.

Why is anyone even giving credence to her story, she's a proven liar.

He probably left after an argument about this.

Oilyskinproblems · 18/09/2019 16:10

Just read both threads and while my sympathy is with OP I feel quite bad for K M and D. They seem to be getting a lot of stick yet I can’t actually work out what they’ve done wrong? They seem confused and like they’re trying to figure out what the fucks going on - that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re excitable gossipy bitches. They’ve been given 2 sides to a story and have no reason to think C isn’t telling the truth (until the conversation between OP and Cs DH).

OP for your DDs sake stay friendly with the 3 women - especially if she’s close with Ks DD. You don’t have to fully trust them but don’t cool it down with them they’ve been good friends in the past.

As for C kicking her husband out - wow! I read the part about the playground conversation with Cs DH and thought how’s she going to get out of this? Shell need to break up or stage a break up with him now! Never did I think she would actually do that!!

Thegrasscouldbegreeener · 18/09/2019 16:18

Your update is pretty shocking tbh.

I'd definitely be distancing myself (If you are not already doing so) How will you know who you can trust now? Its been pretty rough for you op.
Stay on friendly terms with the three in the group, and find some new friends in the meantime. Who needs this level of stress?! You have my sympathies op. I don't have group friends now for this reason.

babbydriver · 18/09/2019 16:20

I agree about K M and D. In these situations where things suddenly blow up like this from nowhere everyone is a little confused about what is happening and who to believe. Something a bit like this has happened to me and my instinct was to take a step back from the situation and see where the chips fell. You don't want to go in all guns blazing to someone who it turns out has done nothing wrong or sympathising with someone who it turns out has caused it all in the first place. Yes it can come across as not supporting people but the facts need to be right. Especially when children's friendships are involved and indeed marriages. There will be more to come out of this I'm sure.

Thegrasscouldbegreeener · 18/09/2019 16:20

C hates op I am inclined to agree.
I don't buy all the random theories, this is just common garden cntery caught out* Yup. Spot on.

ImNotYourGranny · 18/09/2019 16:20

Poor C she must be so traumatised by all this. Good job all her friends are rallying round and conveniently forgetting all the trouble she's caused. At this point OP you're supposed to step up and soothe poor C's feeling. Don't forget she's the victim here.

FFS, you can see how it's supposed to play out from a mile off. Who's got the mental energy to deal with C's shite?

Deathgrip · 18/09/2019 16:26

Kicked him out? Yeah. That’s definitely what’s happened... 🙄

Thegrasscouldbegreeener · 18/09/2019 16:27

You are supposed to be rallying around now with a bottle of wine and taking over food offerings, and forgetting that she lied about you to everyone, because obviously c's dh leaving as eclipsed everything now it seems Hmm

forumdonkey · 18/09/2019 16:27

Facts we know for sure is that C is a liar and drama llama. I suspect that this is the case with kicking her DH out. Lies and drama to win sympathy and gain friends back on side.

As for the other friends, if I heard one of the group was inappropriately messaging another's DH I wouldn't want to get involved and until I knew the facts I would have kept out of it. Now they know the truth they have tried to connect with OP again. These friends are in the middle. If one good friend accused another of what C had done, wouldn't most poster's keep a distance? Now they know the truth, they have another friend who claims her marriage has broken down. Wouldn't you go to see her too, especially if she was upset and to find out what the hell happened? I do feel the other women are in a difficult situation and bear in mind that this has all happened within a few days and up until that point they were all friends.

SunshineCake · 18/09/2019 16:28

This is all very unsavoury. It's hurtful when you realise a friend isn't a friend after all.

Lemon27 · 18/09/2019 16:31

Anyone got a link to the original thread?

FloorLamp · 18/09/2019 16:35

It's been linked not far from the beginning of this thread

Lemon27 · 18/09/2019 16:38

Sorry I missed the first link.

Thanks @Flossdancing

crosspelican · 18/09/2019 16:44

I suppose... someone else was messaging him? And she assumed it was you for some reason? You mentioned you had a v common name - but all the same, if I had been the husband I would have gone BRIGHT RED during that conversation about inappropriate messages in the playground, so, I don't know.

Maybe she has always been secretly batshit and feels that "in for a penny, in for a pound" with the lies, and will graciously "take him back" and turn up in the playground exuding wounded virtue next week, meanwhile the poor bastard is blithely going about his life, innocent as a newborn babe, unaware that in the past week he has had a torrid affair, moved out and been accepted back into the family home. Confused

sauvignonblancplz · 18/09/2019 16:47

What the heck.... each update is more crazy than the next.

I do think the constant updates from K are soooo gossipy and scream of red flags. Definitely don’t completely turn away from them but I would definitely cool it and make it clear the whole palava is boring to you at this stage and to be honest you can’t believe a word C says; ergo sympathy or interest in the whole thing is absent.

Back away from the shit show. Confused

pictish · 18/09/2019 16:52

My opinion, although I accept it might be wrong...I agree that this is random cuntery. Her dh isn’t having an affair with anyone. C got caught bitching and has weaved a tangled web to try to get away with it.

She will have been keyed up for a couple of days not knowing if it was all going to blow up or blow over, and was probably like a coiled spring. Most likely an almighty row has taken place after her dh went home and duly asked about the messages.

She is trying to avoid humiliation and social suicide by committing to the lie.

God knows where she’ll go with this. You are right to step back. What a floorshow.

colourlessgreenidea · 18/09/2019 16:53

I think there comes a point where you really should seek legal advice on defamation of character, the threat of legal action would put a halt to this situation.

Yeah. Pursue legal action for defamation of character because someone said you’d Facebook messaged their husband when you hadn’t. Hmm

Georgepigthedragon · 18/09/2019 16:56

C sounds like a complete nutter

Wonderland18 · 18/09/2019 16:59

Is C maybe suffering with bad mental health? She sounds as irrational and filled with delusions as my bipolar mum?

Original poster
JaysusWept · 18/09/2019 17:10

C cancelled K going round - said she was not in a good place right now and too upset to see anyone and will call her tonight. C’s mum was at school pick up, C and husband not there. It’s unusal for C’s mum to be there - C and husband usually sort pick ups between them so perhaps something has really happened between them and C wasn’t just making up that she had kicked him out.
This is all just from info I’ve read on WA chat! I haven’t replied to any of it - I really don’t want to get involved although it’s all so bizarre.

No mental health issues as far as I’m aware, but who knows. For the time being, I’m inclined to chalk it up to attention seeking drama queen behaviour.

Thanks again for all your replies. I’m just about to leave work now so will have a proper read of the replies later.

OP posts:
AfterSchoolWorry · 18/09/2019 17:10

Unbelievable! C hoist by her own petard!

PrimeMumister · 18/09/2019 17:11

I wonder if Cs husband left due to her lying, I think you're better off out of all the drama @JaysusWept