C and the (non-existent) FB messages

[JaysusWept]

Morning all.
Can't believe the last thread filled up!
Thanks so much to everyone for all of your responses and your support. It really was invaluable to me.

According to K, M and D, they've had no response from C to their messages asking her to explain what has gone on and why she's been lying. She's seen the messages, but hasn't replied to any of them. I ended up muting my WA chat last night because it was buzzing constantly Did make me wonder if the chat I was exluded from was as busy...

L has told M that she'd believed C, can't believe she would lie about something as serious as this (nothing about not believing I would do such a thing!) and that she needs to hear what C has to say about it. She hasn't attempted to contact me, and I don't want her to. That friendship is over.

I'm wondering what C will come back with now. Part of me thinks she'll just freeze K, M and D out and not even bother to give an explanation, because how could she explain it?
I'm just so relieved that that's it now - they know I wasn't lying. Although I intend to stay friends with K, M and D, I think my friendship with them will cool slightly. They didn't support me when I needed it, and from their responses/reactions, I'm guessing that they were similarly as gossipy and 'excited' with C and L when this was all going on. I'd hoped they were trying not to take sides, etc - but the way they seem to be almost revelling in this now, with the amount of messaging and speculation - I'm guessing they were speculating about me this way?
It's left a bad taste in my mouth.

[stephf72]

Woah - these situations always have twists and turns but I didn’t see that coming.
Keep as far away as possible op, it’s their marriage, their drama. Nothing to do with you.

[BlingLoving]

I think i said this on your last thread but i had suspected that there was something going on with her DH and she's projecting onto you (or he was telling her it was you) so I'm not entirely sure that her kicking him out is a story.

I do have some sympathy with the others in the friendship group but agree those friendships are probably not going to be completely salvageable.

[Hidingtonothing]

Just read both threads, holy fuck and now I remember why I prefer to have no friends! Really sorry you've been dragged into this OP, C is clearly batshit

[MarshaBradyo]

K seems to be relishing up dating the WA a bit too much. She could go round without updating but seems to be enjoying being the middle person. Same with the lunch and reporting back.

You’re right to say I have no idea what’s going on, it’s nothing to do with me. Well done for extricating yourself.

[GilbertMarkham]

And so stupid not to keep her husband away from the school run

I did wonder why C did not prepare/prompt/make up done shit to her husband before op confronted him. She must have known it was a possibility ... Though maybe she was relying on op being too scared/embarrassed etc not to confront him.

Seems likely C and husband have now had huge fight when he went home and asked her wtf was going on. I'd say he's left but she's said she kicked him out and will now use that to frame op further .. say he lied to cover up his flirtation/affair or whatever with op.

Op you're in for more of this shit, you know.

And the others aren't good friends, you're right.

All you can do it say the above - "never messaged him, you saw from his reaction that ok didn't, he obviously went home and confronted her and they've had a big fight, understandably - because her behaviour is batshit and nasty.

I feel sorry for her husband/family and good luck to them".

[BookwormMe2]

Blimey, that's some update, OP. I suspect one of two scenarios here:

1. C's DH fancies you and he's made it so obvious she's been upset and in the course of a row about it he's tried to deflect it by claiming YOU were the one chasing him by FB messaging. That said, his shocked reaction to you in the playground about the messages did seem genuine.
   
2. He's been messaging other women and C caught a glimpse of one and saw it was near-the-knuckle and when confronted DH panicked and lied it was only a message from you asking about plumbing, because he thought she wouldn't mind that.
   
   As for your friends, they've clearly been stoking the drama for their own entertainment, forgetting this is your life they're salivating over. I don't blame you for wanting to take a step back from them. They chose C over you by setting up that's WA group with her and not contacting you to get your side of the story or offer support.

[GilbertMarkham]

But be aware that whatever happenss, she's going to keep smearing you (whether they split, in which case shell maintain you and he were messaging each other and he deleted them before she could get eg a screenshot and lied at the school gate to cover it up - in which case you're the ho that broke up their marriage ... Or if they stay together, same scenario, but yours the ho who almost broke up their marriage.

It's utterly unfair but you should do your utmost to gain new friendship/social groups - you know now anyway these women aren't better than average, they're not special friends.

[Talkingmouse]

Strewth.
That is some pivot.
From your messages it doesn’t sound like the H is lying/sleeping around.
But it nicely keeps the drama all about her with the group flocking to her...

[123space]

Yep she'll keep dropping you in this no matter what you do. It's a shame the others will likely believe her as they've already proven themselves to be shitty friends.

More than likely he's left, or he's not gone at all and it's just a story she's hoping no one will uncover.

At some point more information will come out and the others will see. However by that point it will be very hard to recover any friendship with these women.

[DarlingNikita]

More likely he's walked out after asking her what the heck is going on!

I agree with this.

I do think K is enjoying it all a bit too much.

[MarshaBradyo]

One last post - C’s initial reaction on the phone to op doesn’t tally with there being any messages.

Which leaves just thinking op has the hots for her dh or out and out lie for no reason other than to create drama, and to get out of being caught bitching.

[tvdinnertracks]

She dug herself in to a hole and she's panicking. That's my take on it.

[Groovee]

Been lurking. I think C saw the support you got and is going down the route to get the support you got.

She's flung her husband out for telling you he had no clue.

I'd walk away and leave her to it.

[Clutterbugsmum]

I would not be surprised if anyone is lying and maybe having an affair that it is C, and that her new 'friend' in on the seen within weeks.

And unfortunately as much as you don't want to be involved C is not going to let you not be involved. She has caste you in this role because she thought you would never speak up to her husband.

I would be ready to follow up with legal action if she continues to slander your name to get her to leave you alone.

[saraclara]

I wouldn't think too badly of the other three friends, if you think they were messaging about you as enthusiastically as they are now.

Just look at the enthusiasm for this story on here! And we don't even know you!
If this story had involved one of those three instead of you, would you have behaved any differently from them? You wouldn't have known the truth of any of it, and wouldn't you have joined in the wtf? messaging too?

[Spotsandstars]

If any more drama happens in the playground, I think a discrete word to the teacher may help you. At least get in before she talks to them herself and it will give the teacher a heads up on potential issues with the kids.

[Morgan12]

Jeezo shes going to some lengths here when all she had to do was apologise to you after the first message.

[SirVixofVixHall]

Gosh. She is a very silly and unpleasant person. This is a child’s reaction to being caught out, not an adult woman with a child herself.
What a mess !
Re the others, well we all sometimes enjoy a bit of gossipy drama, I am sure I have been guilty of this ,although not on this level, more hearing something on the grapevine type of thing. Perhaps the others will feel a bit guilty and realise that they didn’t support you ? They may be nice individually, but together not so much.
You have dealt with this v well op. There is obviously some level of jealousy towards you, so proceeding with caution, as you are, is sensible.

[BringTheBounceBack]

Well... didn’t see that coming
I can only assume he has been up to something but you’re not to blame. But in these situations C will just want to blame any OW rather than focus on him.

He might have just left her, for being batshit.

[MrGsFancyNewVagina]

I agree with the other posters that have said he’s had enough and left. Let’s face it, if you discovered that your husband was telling lies about you to people and implying that you were being tempted into an affair, wouldn’t you dump him too? I imagine there has been problems in that relationship before now and he’s had enough. It doesn’t mean he’s had or been having an affair.

She’s now going to try to salvage her relationship with the group now, because she has no one else. Eventually she’s start Wendying you again and you know your friends were pathetic and believed her. I’m so sorry OP, as I’ve suffered at the hands of a manipulative liar before and my friends who I’d known for 20 years believed her lies or had the attitude ‘no smoke without fire’. They didn’t discover what she was like until I was off nursing my dying husband. Of course they tried to be friends again but I’ve never got over the feeling of betrayal and hurt.

Being proven right is brilliant, but it doesn’t lessen the pain. 💐

[stephf72]

But I think the ‘enthusiasm’ of people on the thread is due to the injustice to the op. We haven’t seen that reaction from her friends yet? Many of us have received similar treatment at the hands of a batshit c, and for once would like to see someone who is victimised and bullied hold that bully to account.
Sadly in life it doesn’t happen very often.

[DarlingNikita]

Just look at the enthusiasm for this story on here! And we don't even know you!
Well, that's the wrong way round. We can be forgiven (somewhat!) for being a bit excited about it BECAUSE we don't personally know the OP. Actual RL friends should be there to support her.

Plus, as steph says, it's also due in part to the injustice to the OP.

[ElspethFlashman]

I feel so sorry for you OP, this was unavoidable, if C is this erratic.

I wonder if theres a rational explanation? That someone with the same first name was DMing him on FB?

[CallMeRachel]

I've no idea - K's messaged the WA to say that C has been on the phone to her, upset and has said she's had to kick him out as he's been lying

Wait, Caroline the nutcase has been on the phone to K?? Isn't K the one that stuck by you the most? Now she's going round to ace to console her??!! Well there's a surprise, C is now playing the victim now, big style!!! This is a big smoke screen.

She'll get K reeled right in and feeling sorry for her by demonising her poor dh!

I guarantee the rest of the group will follow suit and you'll be left, the only one able to see right through her and what she's been doing.

Disengage now!! Bloody women! Do none of them have jobs!!???

[Tonnerre]

Have you pointed out to K, M and D that it's possible to retrieve deleted Facebook messages and passed on the information on the previous thread about how to do that? Maybe they could pass that on to L, if she still believes C?

Not that it really matters, but in your shoes I would want to make sure that C is very thoroughly called out on this one.