C and the (non-existent) FB messages

[JaysusWept]

Morning all.
Can't believe the last thread filled up!
Thanks so much to everyone for all of your responses and your support. It really was invaluable to me.

According to K, M and D, they've had no response from C to their messages asking her to explain what has gone on and why she's been lying. She's seen the messages, but hasn't replied to any of them. I ended up muting my WA chat last night because it was buzzing constantly Did make me wonder if the chat I was exluded from was as busy...

L has told M that she'd believed C, can't believe she would lie about something as serious as this (nothing about not believing I would do such a thing!) and that she needs to hear what C has to say about it. She hasn't attempted to contact me, and I don't want her to. That friendship is over.

I'm wondering what C will come back with now. Part of me thinks she'll just freeze K, M and D out and not even bother to give an explanation, because how could she explain it?
I'm just so relieved that that's it now - they know I wasn't lying. Although I intend to stay friends with K, M and D, I think my friendship with them will cool slightly. They didn't support me when I needed it, and from their responses/reactions, I'm guessing that they were similarly as gossipy and 'excited' with C and L when this was all going on. I'd hoped they were trying not to take sides, etc - but the way they seem to be almost revelling in this now, with the amount of messaging and speculation - I'm guessing they were speculating about me this way?
It's left a bad taste in my mouth.

[FilthyBiscuit]

I think it sounds like he is having an affair and she's put 2 and 2 together and made 5 by thinking it was you. There's no way she'll have flung him out over a misunderstanding. No one would take it this far.

[BettyBooJustDoinTheDoo]

I think there comes a point where you really should seek legal advice on defamation of character, the threat of legal action would put a halt to this situation.

[leomama81]

Good lord. She does sound like a crazy person.

But re the other three, I agree with this:

What were they supposed to think? Two seemingly rational women in their friendship group and they can't both be telling the truth. Which was the more likely scenario (1) that person A had been sending flirty messages to another's husband or (2) that person B had completely lied about that happening for no apparent reason and had also lied about seeing the fictitious messages. You might say that they should know you'd never do that, but one is a very likely scenario and the other is just mental. I know which I'd have instinctively believed, because the other is the stuff of soap operas.

I think you are right to take a step back as you don't need the drama or the stress. But once it has all died down, maybe don't be too hard on the other three, they've just been totally manipulated by a pathological liar.

[AryaStarkWolf]

Though maybe she was relying on op being too scared/embarrassed etc not to confront him.

That was a massive gamble to take

[amiapropermum]

Agree with Bettyboo above - a solicitors letter might be a wise move. There was a thread on here last year - different lies from an equally deranged 'friend' who kept showing up everywhere the OP was. The police were involved in the end and the friend's H/P left due to the crazy behaviour

[Chunkers]

I reckon he has confronted her about the messages, she has gone on the attack (as a defence - because that’s how she rolls), he has seen her batshit behaviour before and he has walked out as he is sick of it.

[SophyStantonLacy]

Wow, that is a turn of events I did not expect!

[Whitejasmine]

I think there is probably stuff going on in their marriage that the OP and the others will possibly never even find out about. Clearly C has been pushed to the brink one way or another - you don’t kick your husband out for no reason! It’s just a shame that Jaysus has been embroiled in all this.
Who knows what goes on behind closed doors!

[stephf72]

If you send a solicitors letter then you have to commit fully to that route, and anyway defamation cases cost tens of thousands and unless c is rich you won’t see that money again. That said is defamation law different in Scotland ?
Harassment is the other option. Legal cases between parents doesn’t make for a happy life for the kids and I think best avoided if possible.

[AliciaQuays]

So someone else’s has been messGing him. Obv

[ContessaLovesTheSunshine]

If I had to guess at a scenario in which C is not utterly bonkers, I'd guess that C's DH is having an affair (emotional or physical) with someone with either a similar name or a similar profile pic to you and that she firmly believes that you're the guilty woman. That would explain why he looked clueless, because in his head that person wouldn't have any link to you at all.

Clutching desperately at those straws here....

[5LeafClover]

I wouldn't be surprised if he's back at home tonight and she gives the story that he's confessed about the messages, she's trying to forgive him and they don't want to discuss it any more.

Poor you op, it's too crazy.

[magoria]

I think if her H was playing away he wouldn't have been completely confused at the school.

Either was it is now not your circus, not your monkeys.

What happens in their marriage is between them. You are not a part of it.

[AryaStarkWolf]

I wouldn't be surprised if he's back at home tonight and she gives the story that he's confessed about the messages, she's trying to forgive him and they don't want to discuss it any more.

That would be her easiest way out but again trying to pin it on the OP

[AryaStarkWolf]

What happens in their marriage is between them. You are not a part of it.

Shame C didn't remember that

[babbydriver]

Yes if he had been up to something he would have certainly looked slightly guilty surely? The fact that he looked completely confused says he is innocent of anything? Men are shite at lying when confronted.

Oooooo maybe it's C herself that's doing the dirty with K, M, L or A's husband and all this is a smokescreen to get attention away from them? It's like bloody Emmerdale haha

[saraclara]

What were they supposed to think? Two seemingly rational women in their friendship group and they can't both be telling the truth. Which was the more likely scenario (1) that person A had been sending flirty messages to another's husband or (2) that person B had completely lied about that happening for no apparent reason and had also lied about seeing the fictitious messages. You might say that they should know you'd never do that, but one is a very likely scenario and the other is just mental. I know which I'd have instinctively believed, because the other is the stuff of soap operas.

Good point. Even if I didn't fully believe 1) it would take a lot of unpicking of what on earth was going on to be able to back up thie instinct that it can't be true. Hence all the messaging.

[AryaStarkWolf]

Oooooo maybe it's C herself that's doing the dirty with K, M, L or A's husband and all this is a smokescreen to get attention away from them? It's like bloody Emmerdale haha

Maybe she's having an affair with L's DH and L was getting suspicious that her DH was having an affair so C told L that C was flirting with her DH to take the heat of herself lol

[babbydriver]

Yes @AryaStarkWolf !!

[AryaStarkWolf]

@babbydriver

[Gruzinkerbell1]

C is batshit. Utterly, utterly batshit. Was she always a drama queen?

And I’ve cut off friends before when they stay “neutral” but actually just condone another person’s bad behaviour. It’s shitty.

[purpleboy]

This just get crazier and crazier, take a step back op, but be careful I don't think your done with this drama yet

[timetomakeachange1987]

I feel for you OP, I had something similar happen from one lady who I thought was one of my closest friends, she freezed me out and from other mutual friends from the school. My daughter was really upset by it all too as we did spend a lot of time together and I would stay at her house as her husband worked away a lot with all our kids. I felt so betrayed and knew they were all talking about. It was two years ago and even now I don't know what I actually did wrong. Luckily I moved away a year ago and took them all of social media, even though some have attempted to follow me on insta. I don't need that drama in my life.

[MsMightyTitanAndHerTroubadours]

does the husband actually know he had been kicked out?

I think C is living her life full of lies!

[LazyLizzy]

Avoid the lot of them.

That other WA group must have been buzzing with K,M,D when you weren't on it. Your ears must have been burning.

Now the focus has changed and they are desperate for the goss so you are back in communication.

They are only after the gossip. There is no loyalty.

Don't feed them.