Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

C and the (non-existent) FB messages

999 replies

JaysusWept · 18/09/2019 09:31

Morning all.
Can't believe the last thread filled up!
Thanks so much to everyone for all of your responses and your support. It really was invaluable to me.

According to K, M and D, they've had no response from C to their messages asking her to explain what has gone on and why she's been lying. She's seen the messages, but hasn't replied to any of them. I ended up muting my WA chat last night because it was buzzing constantly Hmm Did make me wonder if the chat I was exluded from was as busy...

L has told M that she'd believed C, can't believe she would lie about something as serious as this (nothing about not believing I would do such a thing!) and that she needs to hear what C has to say about it. She hasn't attempted to contact me, and I don't want her to. That friendship is over.

I'm wondering what C will come back with now. Part of me thinks she'll just freeze K, M and D out and not even bother to give an explanation, because how could she explain it?
I'm just so relieved that that's it now - they know I wasn't lying. Although I intend to stay friends with K, M and D, I think my friendship with them will cool slightly. They didn't support me when I needed it, and from their responses/reactions, I'm guessing that they were similarly as gossipy and 'excited' with C and L when this was all going on. I'd hoped they were trying not to take sides, etc - but the way they seem to be almost revelling in this now, with the amount of messaging and speculation - I'm guessing they were speculating about me this way?
It's left a bad taste in my mouth.

OP posts:
Sundancer77 · 18/09/2019 22:38

This is all so bizarre 🤷‍♀️Nothing makes sense and if C is going to all these lengths just to cover up her initial bitching and lies..😮 madness..
Hope you’re ok, op, I agree don’t write off the other friends just yet.

MarieIVanArkleStinks · 18/09/2019 22:43

If the DH isn't still living in that house I'll eat the entire contents of my knicker drawer.

But by this stage, it doesn't matter what OP does or doesn't do to be implicated or otherwise, nor does it matter one iota what this coven of crazies do or don't think. Any contribution to the batshittery will serve to do one thing only and that is to fuel it.

OP, I think your conscious response in deciding to cool it with these people and refuse to add to their social media melodrama is a good call. Reasoning with totally unreasonable craziness is a mistake a lot of people make, only to become tainted with the craziness themselves. It all looks the same to a dispassionate bystander.

Flowers
oabiti · 18/09/2019 23:11

OP, you've handled it all so well. I've just read both threads and am amazed at how you stayed dignified and strong (clichéd, I know).

I just think that there will be a plot twist with the lunatic.

1)that she saw a message on husband's phone from someone called Jaysus. But the husband never saw the message Hmm

  1. that it was in 'secret' messages (the ones that you can send/receive, but disappear in seconds).

Leave them to it, OP. It must have been confusing for the other three. But I don't think they can excuse obstracising you, and not her, if they were remaining neutral.

And, as if you haven't been through enough. You have strength and character, something that Creepy Caroline will ne'er have Smile

Expo · 18/09/2019 23:55

This story just gets even more bizarre. If she is lying - and she has form - then how on earth does she think she will get away with it. She knows you all see her H without her.

Expo · 18/09/2019 23:56

I think that K was running to see her because they are all caught in this drama. But that just shows they are more into the drama than honouring their friendship with you OP. Not nice

saraclara · 19/09/2019 00:24

I think that K was running to see her because they are all caught in this drama. But that just shows they are more into the drama than honouring their friendship with you OP. Not nice

Until a couple of days ago, these people were best friends, and had been for years. You don't just dump your best friend within hours when there's been a huge amount of confusion. And yes, even if it seems that they've behaved insanely badly, if they ask you to come over, you would at least consider doing so. Because if this is out of charcter, you're not going to instantly stop caring about your best friend's situation and what might have led to this.

GabsAlot · 19/09/2019 00:34

Still to me sounds like he went home confronted her and hes not putting up with her lies-could have happened in the past who knows

She will stick with her story that hes cheating though

Expo · 19/09/2019 00:41

@saraclara errrrr I certainly wouldn’t be running over to a friends house who had....

  • sent a bitchy text like the text she sent to OP in the first place
  • which was then followed up by a clear and serious lie to discredit OP

No no no.

UndomesticHousewife · 19/09/2019 01:41

Is C saying that she kicked him out because he lied that he hadn't sent any messages?
I'm wondering if that's what she's doing setting the scene that there message and her husband has lied and said there weren't

justilou1 · 19/09/2019 02:10

I bet she’s done this shit before, is an absolute fantasist who just loves the drama and attention and doesn’t care who it hurts in the fallout, and her DH has walked out.

oabiti · 19/09/2019 03:25

I bet she’s done this shit before, is an absolute fantasist who just loves the drama and attention and doesn’t care who it hurts in the fallout, and her DH has walked out

She will front this out until the very end, now. She believes her own bullshit. Batshit

Cuttingthegrass · 19/09/2019 07:15

C sound like she has paranoia. What a truly horrible situation for everyone

MyOtherProfile · 19/09/2019 07:21

Wow! I wonder if actually Cs dh got mad at her about her lies (could be the latest in a long history for all we know) and has left of his own accord.

combatbarbie · 19/09/2019 07:50

I think C cancelled K as Ks availability was late afternoon which will have ran into school run and DH coming home time.... She's told her mum she is unwell and H is working so can he do pick up.

combatbarbie · 19/09/2019 08:03

Fridays drinks will be cancelled but over the weekend she will claim to have sorted things out with her husband....

If C were my friend, despite the rest of the drama, if she told me she'd kicked DH out I'd have been round whether she wanted me there or not for emotional support.....

Bet all is actually fine in the C household..... This is just more drama seeking. No doubt she will be on school run, no make up etc to make it look good.

I know Cs type.....

OzzyFinch · 19/09/2019 08:03

I wonder if actually Cs dh got mad at her about her lies (could be the latest in a long history for all we know) and has left of his own accord.

^This

And I bet he hasn't left at all. The Grandmother probably picked them up because C said he and her husband were busy/ill/whatever. You can't trust anything she says.

whatnametopick · 19/09/2019 08:10

Maybe c dh is having an affair and c wrongly thought it was op. By saying she had seen fb messages she thought op would come clean. Now c dh has maybe had to admit to who he was actually having an affair with hence her apparently kicking him out.

Drogosnextwife · 19/09/2019 08:23

That's what I was thinking whatnametopick

CoraPirbright · 19/09/2019 08:32

I think C cancelled K as Ks availability was late afternoon which will have ran into school run and DH coming home time.... She's told her mum she is unwell and H is working so can he do pick up.

I agree with combatbarbie. I highly doubt that the husband has been kicked out (or even left of his own accord). You cannot trust a single thing C says - she is desperately trying to regain control of the situation having been so roundly exposed.

babbydriver · 19/09/2019 08:50

Yes I agree poor grandma has been drafted in to the school run so it appears C is so distraught she cannot leave the house. And Her H is just at work.

StroppyWoman · 19/09/2019 09:10

OP, you’ve been astonishingly calm in the face of this insanity. I’m so sorry you’ve been subjected to it all.

3luckystars · 19/09/2019 09:20

I missed the whole thread and can't find it, (where is it?) but I would strongly advise that you stay back

Keep out of this and be busy for the next few weeks. Do not get involved in any way. Stay well away, sit on your hands and dont reply to anything
Your nose is clean now so back away.

Good luck.

Thegrasscouldbegreeener · 19/09/2019 09:22

I don't think C would be that crazy as to kick out her own husband just to maintain a lie, there are a number of ways she could have saved face without booting him out.
I also doubt she is lying about kicking him out, it would be very easy for someone to ask grandma how C at pick up. I doubt she would convince her mother to lie as well!

I feel the most likely reason is that her dh has admitted some kind of infidelity/messaging ow due to the situation with op. He didn't say he hasn't been messaging other women, only confirmed it was not op.
It has been brought to light because of the situation with op, and C has asked dh to leave (don't forget C suspected something a while back, so she may have been right - abeit wrong woman)

Poor op caught up with this.

Winterlife · 19/09/2019 09:26

C lied about Facebook messages. It’s not a stretch that she’d lie about kicking her husband out. Who’s going to sit outside her home to monitor her husband’s arrival and departure?

hellsbellsmelons · 19/09/2019 09:29

HERE IS THE PREVIOUS THREAD

Swipe left for the next trending thread