Dating thread 170: Know your worth

[Ginmel]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you. 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item. 😘

Well snapped up @stealthninjamum

FFS I did a typo in the last post of the old thread. Can't even type a sentence.

Thanks for starting the thread @ginmel. I wasn't on the last thread much (still on smitten bench) but will be better.

Agree with the new rule number 7!

Always know your worth. Thanks for the thread @Ginmel

Hiya. I never gave an update on last night's date.

Was fun, had too much to drink and I've just picked up cystitis medicine from boots... Was just what I needed! 😀

I'm with @lifegoes and @KhaleesiTargaryen on Mr Cactus @SBD1. There is something setting my senses a-tingling. I think it's because it seems to be moving very fast. After 5 weeks he is letting himself into your house (I would find that a big no-no though unless we had previously agreed that arrangement) and you seem to be planning all your spare time around him. It also seems to be all on his terms. He is defining the relationship and you are more passive. For example you are changing your sleeping patterns to suit his. I wouldn't be so keen to let him get his feet quite so comfy under the table. Make sure you are making time for your friends and that you are still enjoying dates out. Not always dinner and bed. Hope you don't mind me saying this.

At least you got the link in

Great update @Pinkdoor I've just bought vagisil after my date On Friday/Saturday! 🙈

Not at all @notcoolmum

I think it’s me paraphrasing events possibly. So he let himself into my house because I told him to. Usually he lets me know he is on his way and I’ll be in the kitchen so he’ll come in. But I do that at his house too, his front door is usually actually open - he lives in a village. So it’s a two way thing. In that particular instance I was in bed and told him to come in. I’m fairly relaxed with him and we’re quite familiar around each other but actually more so in a friendship way. Might help that I didn’t hug or kiss him for a good three weeks. I do plan my spare time around him in a sense BUT I have most evenings to myself with my gaming friends and I do drive to my old town to see my friends. We had most of this weekend together but next weekend I’ll see him on the Sunday for a few hours and no more.

With regards to defining the relationship, I’d say yes - I let him define it however I still steered him in the direction I wanted it to go in.

It’s also not a bad idea for my sleeping patterns to change, my gaming friends are in the US. I was staying up til 2am and sleeping for just 4 hours. I’m happy to go to bed at a decent time, so yes I’ve changed them for him when I see him but other days you’ll catch me up til 6am if DS is away.

I don’t mind having most of our hang outs at either of our homes because I can relax but we do also go out. We just plan them way in advance. We’ve got a theatre thing in October and we’re going to go to London for a show. It’s probably that because we know we have those things that we spend the rest of the time at home. We’re both nerdy and going out to a bar isn’t really our thing. I did say in October I’d like us to meet each other’s friends so we’re going to sort that out.

Shiny new Fred, thanks Ginmel.

I feel like a bit of an interloper now I'm 5 months in with MrC, but I'm still so over invested in all of your dating lives, I can't leave! I certainly had lots of fun dates, some weird ones, got ghosted, emotionally involved too quickly and made loads of mistakes which make me cringe when I think about them now 🤦‍♀️ So I'll continue to put in my twopence worth where I think someone needs a hand hold or kick up the arse (mainly hand holding though 'cos you're all brill and this is my safe place on MN!)

Great news about MrTri @Savoretti, was worried you'd gone a bit quiet 👍🏻

placemarking! sick over weekend so didn't do a thing. Taking a mini step back from dating as not having any luck!

@sbd1 you sound like you've got your head fairly well screwed on though I think you stopped using condoms and had your tests v quickly which worried me as I didn't think all diseases could show up that quick.

Apart from that it's funny how different people read things different ways. I think you tend to tell us summaries and believe me there's nothing wrong with that at all. Maybe some people just worry how you got to those points but you are looking out for yourself.

Hello new thread! Not very good at this dating malarkey and mainly here to learn from everyone else. I have one WhatsApp contender and one bumble conversation which started just after I declared bumble was rife with men incapable of conversation! I ve met the WhatsApp one once, and it's proving difficult to set up a second time because I am so limited by my children.

Mr G has just asked to do something in the future (after our next date).

Seems into it and not too carried away. I like. Feels a nice pace.

That's why I'll always say, we can only go off what you've told us here @SBD1 as in agreement with @Ginmel some of your points worry me. Because you haven't been together long. You've stopped using condoms. You have a quick kidney infection. From either I'm being too big or an allergic reaction to condoms. But are unable to happen!

But You say you've both been tested.

"You were sleeping and didn't expect to wake up to his face in your pillow" one min he was going to London. Then he wasn't. Then he did.

I'm just more concerned at the speed of everything.

but again I stress it's only based on what you've said. You know how it feels and what is as you are in it. You seem to know exactly what you want. Just make sure you get checked for that kidney infection and I really do hope he's the one as he's gave you the body confidence boost you needed and that's a great thing in my book.

Oh and thanks for new thread - with updated wording. Like a lot!!

Ohhh that sounds good @KhaleesiTargaryen what has he suggested?

I love your updates @JeSuisPrest you give me so much hope that there's good ones out there. And at the same time I relate to certain things you've spoken about too. So don't you dare leave. I NEED YOU 😂

And thanks @JeSuisPrest and @hairy for the better rule 7 suggestion

@lifegoes its an outdoors activity we both do but also involves a bit of traveling. I think it's nice not to just want to go out for dinner/drinks and still spend time together. I'm getting a good vibe.

My last 2 relationships have lacked that level of connection and felt a bit superficial looking back.

Yes @JeSuisPrest agreed - I feel like I'm coming of age with all this new wisdom from the thread. And that I'm finally beginning to know my worth...

Sounds very good @KhaleesiTargaryen

And yes @JeSuisPrest you and @shitwithsugaron @batshitcrazy and others give us hope that love can be found in this crazy world of OLD. So please don't leave us.

And yes @JeSuisPrest Mr S got in touch and has asked to meet. I've agreed to meet him for a brew on neutral ground this week. I haven't asked him why he wants to meet. I'm fed up of having serious conversations on text so I'm trying not to think about it too much and to see what this is about in person. I have no expectations. And I know for certain I'm not going to be his fallback girl.

That's a great positive @KhaleesiTargaryen it feels better when you can connect with mutual hobbies and common interests. I'm with you, I much prefer to do things together like that than just always dinner etc

So I was just browsing fab, as you do. , First profile that came up was a colleague who is from our head office (overseas) but currently working here on secondment. He has a very identiable dimple. Fortunately my profile is still hidden

And the schmuck says he's single when I know for sure he isn't

How funny @ginmel. Have you seen his cock?! 🙈

unfortunately so

Seeing as we are all talking cystitis and UTIs - quick question - the stuff you can buy over the counter, can that get rid of it if you take it quick enough?
I had my first a few weeks ago (Sunday evening typically) so I tried to guzzle gallons cranberry juice as that was all I could get. Was in agony the next day so I did get antibiotics but wondering if I feel it coming on if it’s possible to get rid of it naturally?

I take Dmannose capsules that I buy from amazom @Savoretti they seem to help.