Are there any truly decent men out there?

[LemonFritz]

I thought I had an amazing husband, minor flaws and human, but wonderful. Turns out he is not.

Are there any truly decent men out there who are considerate, genuinely view women as equals in all ways and are not porn addicts?

What sex forum??

@Sadiesnakes

What sex forum??

Mumsnets sex sub?

It takes two to tango. Most of the blame lies with the cheating husbands in these cases, no doubt. However that there's all these women willing to run around with married men doesn't reflect well on the female gender either.

I thinks it's human nature to cheat, not gender specific. Men and women are more or less equal when it comes to cheating.

However, domestic abuse, financial control, porn addiction, use of cam girl/ prostitutes, unequal parenting/ household duties, midlife crisis's, ie upgrading current wife with a younger women and general misogynistic behaviour are all mainly exclusive to men.

And I think because of said behaviour's, more women are inclined to cheat after putting up with years of crap,

so then there's that too.

Nah. No good men. We’re like the dinosaurs, you occasionally dig up a fossil which the rarified few can point to.

I’ve taken to wearing an eye patch and stroking a white cat. I’ve constructed a pit in my basement with sharks swimming about with laser beams attached to them. I also make a point of practicing my maniacal laugh daily.

I did consider wearing a leather jacket and riding a motorcycle for a while but I really, really wanted that volcano secret lair.

@maximumcarnage

Glad you find this thread so funny, your post is hilarious....

What's funny, @Sadiesnakes, is the prevalence of the view on Mumsnet that a set of genitals somehow determines personality.

Men are people, too, you know. Individuals, who are more than the sum of their penis.

Men are people, too, you know. Individuals, who are more than the sum of their penis
Haha - said by a man who's hasn't been screwed over multiple times by MEN!

Men are people, too, you know. Individuals, who are more than the sum of their penis

I can only speak as I find.

If men want to prove me wrong by behaving differently, believe me, I'm all up for that but other men just telling me I'm wrong? Nah.

Especially as one of the men in my real life who places so much focus on being a good person and doing "the right thing" is one of the worst I know.

But, I have been screwed over by women, @hellsbellsmelons. They all possessed a vagina, but I still don't believe that genitals determine personality. As a rule, I don't believe in stereotyping populations or assuming personality traits by reference to gender, race, religion, or disability. And I continue to hope for a world where those prejudices are left behind. Clearly, on mumsnet, we're not there yet!

Why should it be upto anyone to prove you wrong? Also I'm pretty sure if you expect everyone to be a certain way then you usually find they are. I wont argue that there are a lot of people who aren't decent around both male and female but I always try to treat everyone with respect until I have a reason not to.

As a rule, I don't believe in stereotyping populations or assuming personality traits by reference to gender, race, religion, or disability. And I continue to hope for a world where those prejudices are left behind. Clearly, on mumsnet, we're not there yet!

@SlightlyMisplacedSingleDad Course you don't, because you've never been sexually assaulted, raped, coerced, prostituted, beaten by your 'd'p, objectified, passed over for job or pay increase because of your gender, actually the list is endless, need I go on.

No, Misplaced, men and women are certainly not equal, and men mostly live up to their stereotypes

The police and hospital records say otherwise about my experience at the hands of a woman, @Sadiesnakes. But you go on making your assumptions. And I will go on treating people - men and women; black and white; Muslim, Christian, and atheist - as individuals, deserving of respect unless they show me otherwise.

People here insisting there are decent men, are either deluded men themselves, surprise surprise!!
Or some of the lucky few women who haven't had the misfortune of experiencing the eventual bad side of one, YET.

The police and hospital records say otherwise about my experience at the hands of a woman, @Sadiesnakes. But you go on making your assumptions. And I will go on treating people - men and women; black and white; Muslim, Christian, and atheist - as individuals, deserving of respect unless they show me otherwise.

Sure🙄.

Back that up with actual real life current stats from a government source please.

There are only if you dont expact anything from them!

@Sadiesnakes I was very clearly referencig my experience of DV in my reply, and referring to the fact that there are police and hospital (and court) records of my experiencing violence at the hands of a woman (my ex-wife). Perhaps you mis-read it? Or perhaps you deliberately intended to accuse me of lying, because I am a man?

If you want Government stats on the experience of men as victims of domestic violence, I would refer you to the British Crime Survey, published by the Office of National Stastics, which consistently shows that around one third of domestic abuse victims are men. Unquestionably, women are affected disproportionately - they experience abuse more frequently and more severely than men. And I'm not mininising that. But I am challenging the prejudice within the gendered assumptions you make in your comments.

Nonetheless, I'm not particularly interested in debating stats with you. I'm making the point that prejudice and bigotry is wrong. If you are assuming personality traits based on sex, disability, race, or religion (which you self-evidently are from your comments), then you're displaying bigotry.

I’ve sometimes met women that do stuff I don’t agree with. But mostly the women I have long and enduring relationships with don’t disappoint.
But the thing is, I’ve yet to meet a man I class as ‘decent’.
Of the women I know who think the sun shines out of their husbands arses, not one of those men is deserving of the pedestal. In fact, they’re all dickheads, several have tried to chat me up, some are menchildren, unrecognized abusers...
men that piss the bed after too many drinks , and so on. If I met one who could prove my theory wrong I’d be delighted. In most cases they are simply women who put up with shit that I never would.

Why is there always a man who comes on to tell us that men are victims of domestic violence too?

Well, it was kind of the point of the thread @gorrisandhorace 🙄

Was it?

Is there not a dadsnet where you can all discuss your problems with women?

Nonetheless, I'm not particularly interested in debating stats with you. I'm making the point that prejudice and bigotry is wrong. If you are assuming personality traits based on sex, disability, race, or religion (which you self-evidently are from your comments), then you're displaying bigotry.

You've missed all my points, but of course you would.
It would actually be a rare and decent man that can recognise how shitty most other men behave, acknowledge it and try to be better then most.