Bit of background...been with DP nearly 5 years, he is 36 and I am 43 so a bit of an age gap (this is relevant). We have a 2yo DD.
We’ve always been quite jokey with each other and have a similar sense of humour. There’s always been ‘banter’ (hate that word tbh) always instigated by him about the fact I’m older than him and I’ve given as good as I’ve got back. Ironically people always think I’m younger than him so the fact he takes the piss out of the age difference has never bothered me too much in the past.
However., he is becoming increasingly spiteful but under the guise of joking.
For example, he’s started making reference to my ‘saggy old tits,’ ‘old woman’s body,’ calls me an ‘old cnt and other things that I can’t bring myself to say on here. He’s been pulled up before by one of his relatives at a family party who heard him refer to me as ‘old woman.’ She told him it wasn’t nice but he brushed it off as her not understanding his sense of humour.
It came to a head at the weekend when he made a comment about how he’s always had a thing for women who are brunette and petite but he’s ‘somehow ended up with blonde and old.’ I’m embarrassed to say I just burst into tears and told him I’d had enough of the constant put downs. I asked him why he can’t just be nice for once. He never compliments me, I’d love for him to send me a nice text or say something sweet but it’s this constant bloody ‘banter’ and it’s wearing me down. He was very remorseful at the weekend and apologised but kept insisting that he’s ‘only joking.’
I kind of feel like I’m going mad here. He’s very good in others ways but my head feels fried...is he just nasty or ignorant? Or have I made a rod for my own back by always being so lighthearted about his ‘jokes’ in the past that I’ve inadvertently given him the green light to take it to the next level? I feel so shit about myself.