Dating thread 168: The things you choose to ignore/tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

[Ginmel]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you. 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Reason, Season, or Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

— Unknown

*might not

Awww Sunshine that's exciting.

Marl glad you had a good date. What Holland!!!!??? Annoying and a waste of your time.

Ant happy birthday - have a great time tonight. So sorry it ended with Miss H, but you tried.

Hairy so sorry

Tooold he actually sounds really promising, how exciting!

Ant happy birthday

Thank you Coco and me too, sometimes it’s very hard, sorry to hear you down x

Happy birthday @Ant330!

Why- Holland!!! Wtf?!? Annoying. Next...

@CocoKoko123 oh no hope you’re okay. You know we are here if you need to talk or see if we think it is terminal. I tell you guys way more than irl friends!

TooOld no heard nothing so have unmatched and deleted. Havent bothered to send my usual polite "was nice to meet you, hope you find what you're looking for" type message as hes rude and doesn't deserve it

Sorry to hear this @CocoKoko123 you have been one of the thread success stories.

Any update @FMFL?

Glad the date went well @Marlboroandmalbec34 has Mr Big just vanished?

@Ant330 happy birthday. Have a great night

Someone needs to sort their banner ad out

Lovely post @Sunshineandflipflops for @coco . Sorry things haven't worked out for you coco. I understand your feelings there. Didn't expect life to be so complicated!

Happy Birthday Ant Hope you have a great day.

Happy birthday @Ant330 - have a great day!
@Marlboroandmalbec34 sounds promising!
@WhatWhyWhen HOLLAND 😂 why oh why...

Spent all night chatting to MrC against my own advice. Found out he'd been drinking so I was probably a source of curing loneliness in his evening until he told me he was back on Tinder but not looking to date or meet up with anyone, just looking - despite not being ready. Now I'm just ugh, whatever, about the whole thing. I've kept his number on my phone but deleted all chats and photos etc and will let him message, he's said he just wants to be friends but I suspect with how I feel toward him it'll only make things awkward for me.

Thanks for the b'day wishes folks!
1st b'day I've woken up to on my own in a long time, the peace and quiet is lovely 😂 so I've had a lie in!

So I was all prepared for a FaceTime call yesterday, and he didn't call! No call at all actually. But had some brief messages.

Not a peep from him yet this morning... I really hope I'm not too late. Not sure what's worse, dealing with self sabotage or rejection!

Oh notreally can’t you call him??

WhatWhyWhen yesterday I couldn't because he had a long and late shift at work. He sometimes calls when he stops for a break but I don't know when those breaks are or when his shift has finished.

I could in theory try him this morning but he's picking his kids up sometime, plus given he's not even replied to my morning text then I think he's either unavailable or doesn't want to chat at the moment.

Happy birthday Ant330! Hope you have a lovely day.

@NigesFakeWalkingStick "he told me he was back on Tinder but not looking to date or meet up with anyone, just looking"

He's hilarious. Boy bye. Seriously - block. People who dick about like this shouldn't be rewarded with an available listening ear for their tomfoolery

I’m back from my holidays and (kind of) getting over the jet lag (and many, many hours of travel). I’ve been trying to catch up with the thread - so much happens on here if you bugger off to SE Asia for more than a week!

I’m really sorry to hear about the hard times so many of you have been having. There seems to be so many of you that it’s hard to name check everyone. You all deserve much better than this shit from unavailable and flakey people. I’m glad some of you still seem to be on the Beyoncé bench with me at least.

Happy birthday @Ant330. Enjoy your celebrations with your friends.

My (very happy) update is that MrSG and I are buying a house. I accepted an offer on my house (£4K more than I paid for it a year ago, which seems pretty good) and we have had our offer accepted on the only house we viewed. But it’s pretty much perfect for us: it’s 2 streets away from my current house; it’s huge and really nice; and it’s £120k less than our actual budget/what we thought we’d have to pay to get what we need round here. So hopefully we’ll be living together properly before Christmas. I say properly because we basically live with each other all the time these days, but between two houses. So being in one place makes much more sense.

Fantastic news. Congratulations @woomawang and Mr sg

Happy birthday @Ant330

@notreallyacatfish I would text him to ask when he's free so that you can FaceTime him.

Congrats Woo that's great news on the new house purchase!

@notreallyacatfish Agree with lifegoes - you've nothing to lose - ask if he's free at X time so you can get yourself feeling good

Happy birthday @Ant330!
Lovely news @woomawang
Excited for @Sunshineandflipflops....
Let's hope this is a better thread!

Thanks. I am stupidly happy about it all. And I’d never have believed things would turn out this way if you’d asked me 2 years ago (or even 18 months ago).

I think all of us are here in this thread because things didn’t go to plan in some way but that doesn’t mean that we can’t find a better plan and have it work out (whatever that might look like for each of us). Finding what we want and need isn’t necessarily easy - and sometimes it’s bloody dismal. But the whole OLD endeavour isn’t intrinsically a Sisyphean task. Even if it can feel that way sometimes.

I could write a whole load of soppy stuff about MrSG but I save you the nausea. I will let you know when you need to buy hats though. 😆