Dating thread 168: The things you choose to ignore/tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

[Ginmel]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you. 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Reason, Season, or Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

— Unknown

@FMFL I hope he hasn't just blocked you, its so cowardly. And if he has that you can move on and realise what a lucky escape you had.

@supercali77 I can confirm that messages sent while you're blocked never get delivered.
I'd like to agree with supers idea but if I'm somewhere and dont want to communicate with anyone on WA, I change my notifications so I get none and then check when I can or later in the evening, I dont block people but everyone is different.

Great sleuthing @supercali77

ginmel I can’t answer that re being rude when in hell. I know a lot of people react with anger and shouting when in torment, lashing out at people. My FIL certainly did when his DS was at death’s door. I think I just went quiet and completely uncommunicative (I had a mobile at the time but didn’t charge it for weeks.) These reactions are indicative of our respective characters certainly. Mr B not being sweetness and light when up against it is something to note by all means.

@FMFL he might have just had aeroplane mode on overnight so his phone didn't ping all night with various stuff. The guy I'm seeing did the same last night 'text me when you get home' so I did but he either switched his phone off / aeroplane mode. Either way he txt this morning.
I hate what's app sometimes- it's so easy to misread the grey tick / online stuff.

So its Monday morning and this was the weekend I met Mr Water's family.
We are still away and travelling back today.

It's been a really great weekend, I had been so worried about everything- meeting them, spending 4 days with a guy (not done since May 2018 when I split from my husband).

His family love me apparently and he's been told to look after me. His parents think we're together but he told the others the truth and they just want him to be happy which is good.

I've loved it all but I definitely like living on my own!!!

Only downside was my husband received the divorce papers, disagrees with what I've written but agreed to proceed and then sent apology texts to me (he doesn't know I'm away with a guy) which upset me loads so I've had a good cry on Mr Water who has been amazingly supportive.

This weekend has also made me realise that another FB I have is not respecting my boundaries, he wants a relationship, i dont but he's still pushing and hoping he can change me plus i think he's developed feelings and i dont want to hurt him.
This weekend made me realise that with Mr Water its so easy and we get on so well but this one is always dropping hints and being a bit too boyfriend like which I dont want.
I think I'm going to end things later.

Have a great Monday everyone!!

I agree with @Ginmel about the MrB issue. It’s not so much that his DC is ill (which is awful), but a broader pattern of responding poorly to stress. And one where he appears to be kind to other people but not to @shitwithsugaron. That’s not really ok.

I think you’ve done the right thing in stepping back there @shitwithsugaron. You do need to protect yourself because you are important.

I’m waiting for an unpleasant interaction with my horrible ex as he drops DS2 off this morning. He’ll notice my house has a ‘sold’ sign on it (which wasn’t there last time he was here) and will probably start a doorstep interrogation about stuff that I’m not going to discuss with him because he has no sense of boundaries. Oh well.

@CassettesAreCool he is only lashing out at @shit though - that's one of the reasons she's upset. He was perfectly nice to his ex wife whilst still being mean to @shit

@shitwithsugaron what's with all the leave you alone / not putting pressure on on you messages? You make it sound like you are a burden. Language should just be about stepping back until he can treat you well.

Ps. Like the shoulder and not doormat line

@Candace19 yeah I tried the same experiment just there....aeroplane mode. If you're out of range it goes to 1 tick but it gets delivered as soon as you're in range. If you're blocked....its member delivered

Member = never.

You are putting yourself down and I don't like that

Supercali He’s come back this morning...but my last message still hasn’t shown as read... I did a bit of googling and think you’re right, I was blocked overnight. He told me he was going to a friend’s...! Obviously a good friend

Aargh. Do i message back and ask him why I was blocked? It is going to be that isn’t it.

@FMFL yeah when I tried aeroplane mode it eventually went to 2 ticks when it came back online. The only thing that remains 1 tick is a block, plus the pic dissappearing, it all adds up.

Or call his bluff and say ‘how weird, sent you a long message last night (it was actually about my boiler ) but obviously you didn’t get it’?

Oh bollocks to it I’ll just ask him why.

@FMFL consider how likely he is to give you the truth.....right? He'll say he has mo idea. Must be a glitch blah blah.

@supercali77 x-post!